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by Elaine Sauer, Rick Sauer, Signe Swanson, Jack Waschenfelder
Welcome to Seniors in the Building. Join us as we talk, think and laugh our way through growing old. We are four friends experiencing aging for the first time and learning new technologies. We don't plan to go quietly into the night. We'll burn, rage, keep moving, tease, and wander down strange roads. Come join our conversation.
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In a departure from our usual focus on aspects of growing older, we wanted to talk about what it means to be Canadian at this time in history. Rick and Elaine join the conversation from Newfoundland, having just attended the 25th Anniversary Commemoration of 911 in Gander, Nfld. That event was a moving reminder of who we are as a welcoming, compassionate, get ‘er done kind of people who embrace difference and try to ease hardship. Jean Chretien, who spoke, is one of our country’s many heroes. We acknowledge our huge country and the landscape that shapes us, giving us resilience, persistence and a sense of looking out for others alongside acknowledging our history of indigenous land claims and reconciliation. We share our experiences of travelling and studying internationally, of being an immigrant and of instilling in our children a sense of the breadth and depth of Canada. Listen as we talk with pride and passion about being Canadian.
When we retire, others may think we have retreated from the world, but in fact we are now free from the versions of ourselves that we didn’t choose. So, what looks like retreating is simply being a more authentic self. This can be both freeing and daunting at the same time. Sometimes those masks are learned behaviour, or are based on gender or societal expectations which are all more difficult to shed. We may find that after wearing a particular mask for so long we aren’t sure who we are without it. As we talk through what it means to find a new self in our 70’s we discover that who we are now is still in development. We also discover that we have more agency to reject masks and be unfiltered. We are more aware of our capacity to learn and to disregard the expectations of others as we move toward our new selves. In short, in the words of Karl Jung, “Later life is not merely decline but it can be an undertaking for establishing a different psychological and spiritual vocation.” An exciting task for our seventies.
In this brief but mighty podcast (cut short by construction noise) we not only share the things that we still look forward to, but also those things that keep us leaning toward tomorrow. We look forward to being with family, taking a nap, reading in bed, and oddly enough, doctor appointments, things that in the moment give us pleasure and satisfaction. Staying curious and excited about space exploration, new science discoveries and even our own adventures as we travel keep us looking forward. The knowledge that nothing lasts forever and that eventually things will shift gives us hope and helps us to stay engaged in finding solutions when things go sideways. Ultimately, as we age, we find ways to adapt to our changing lives, counteract the down side of human nature and embrace an evolving world.
Most of us have held beliefs and opinions that once seemed right to us. But then we meet new people, have new experiences and learn new things, discovering in the process that what we once were so certain about doesn’t seem so certain anymore. In this podcast we explore some of those areas where we have changed our minds. The women’s movement helped us to shift from having a career “to fall back on” to having a legitimate career in our own right as women. We have shifted our thinking about gender identity and sexual orientation and who gets to be married and ordained. Our faith traditions broaden to include many other ways to express our religious beliefs. We have even been influenced to change what we wear and how we look, accepting a broader range of options. Listen to our interesting conversation about changing our minds.
What happens in our lives when we notice that fewer people need us? How do we measure our worth? We are loved and beloved by our family and friends and as we age and roles shift, we must somehow accept the limits in our ability to give back to them. It does not change who we are, but it does change how we think about ourselves which can affect our sense of self-worth. Do we feel useless? Can we shift from that to just being present? It’s a process and others who have gone before can be models for us. We laughed about not being able to get up on a ladder anymore, but it is significant as a metaphor because it symbolizes a shift. It is a shift from being needed to needing help. In the end as we each face our own journey of accepting our limits and inviting people to help us, we acknowledge it as part of our human journey and being present to each other on that journey is paramount.
A brief reminder that we're taking a brief break
We live in a challenging world with a lot coming at us from many directions. How do we keep our compassion, our hope and our joy alive? Or do we? We point out all the obvious ways to cope: using humour, taking a walk, reading a book, limiting the amount of bad news we watch and seeking out good news, or doing something nice for someone else. But we also acknowledge the importance of sitting with our distress and listening to the distress of others with open ears and heart. It is not so much about keeping it together as it is about working through and finding a response to challenging times that is uniquely ours and that helps us to take the right action. The conversation is one that makes us work at articulating our beliefs about human nature and how finding and hanging onto the best of our human qualities is important to counteracting the worst of human qualities abundant in the world.
What stops us from talking about death? What stops us from preparing for it? If we talk about death, can it change how we live? Do we talk about death more once we’ve experienced the death of someone close to us? As we answer these questions, our conversation moves from being aware of our death as something unique to the human species to how we are planning for our own death to sharing our stories of the deaths we’ve experienced. Talking about our own death is far easier than talking about the death of someone we love because the thought of them not being in our lives is too painful. Yet, having the conversations with loved ones is important to help us all approach our deaths with healing memories, resolved hurts and a deep love for one another so that our stories live on and our grief reflects our love.
Welcome to Seniors in the Building. Join us as we talk, think and laugh our way through growing old. We are four friends experiencing aging for the first time and learning new technologies. We don't plan to go quietly into the night. We'll burn, rage, keep moving, tease, and wander down strange roads. Come join our conversation.
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