How To Deal With Online Tolls

If you’ve ever thought, ‘I want feedback, but I’m terrified of the internet,’ stay tuned—I’ll show you how to get useful criticism without letting trolls live rent-free in your head.Two Types of FeedbackI’m sharing how I handle trolls, reviews, and feedback—and how you can turn all of that into fuel to grow your show instead of reasons to quit. I’ll walk you through when to ignore, when to engage, and how to build a trusted focus group that helps you make your podcast better without letting anonymous strangers live rent‑free in your head.Trolls, Critics and Focus GroupsI break down the difference between true trolls, genuine critics, and helpful focus groups—and how each one fits (or doesn’t) into your growth as a podcaster. I share real stories about nitpicky typo trolls, cyberbullying from years ago, people who send you two and a half pages of “do a different show,” and how other podcasters are using their audience—and even Snapchat—to get honest, constructive criticism.By the end, you’ll see why I say feedback is the “breakfast of champions,” and why your fear of judgment shouldn’t keep your show stuck on your hard drive.What You’ll LearnTrolls vs. Focus GroupsHow I define a troll: unsolicited, emotionally charged feedback that’s mostly about getting a reaction.How I define a focus group: people who actually want to help shape and improve your show.Why some “trolls” are really just frustrated fans who want attention.Classic Troll Bait TopicsThe three topics that almost guarantee you’ll attract trolls:PoliticsNews / current eventsReligionWhy I’m okay with pushback when I brush up against these—and why you should expect it if your show leans into them.My Rules for Dealing with TrollsRule #1: Don’t feed the trolls.I talk about why I always try to wait before responding.How I “kill them with kindness” when I choose to reply.Why I often simply say, “Thanks for the feedback,” and move on.How I remind myself that sometimes people are just having a bad day, and I happened to be standing in front of them.Turning Feedback into a Tool for GrowthThe key question I always ask: “Do they have a point?”An example: being told, “You interrupt your guests too much,” and how I go back, listen, and honestly assess if they’re right.How I respond when someone clearly just wants me to do a completely different show than the one I want to make.How I Engage Without Losing My CoolWhy I sometimes ask, “How could I have done this better?” to separate useful advice from empty criticism.How I ask for evidence or sources in a non-defensive way:“I’m interested in digging into this—can you share a link?”When I’ll share my sources and politely stand my ground.When I decide it’s time to block, report, and move on, especially on platforms like YouTube.Knowing My Audience (and My Why)How knowing who my show is for makes it easier to ignore the wrong people.Why I consider the nastiest haters as “not my target audience.”The math I look at: out of hundreds of reviews, only a tiny percentage are negative—but they love to hog my attention if I let them.Stories and Examples I ShareMark Maron on Trolls as “Frustrated Love”A clip from Mark Maron talking about trolls who keep coming back.How he describes repeat trolls as people who are weirdly in love with you and just want you to get mad so they feel seen.The Typo TrollThe listener who went absolutely ballistic over typos and sent me 5–6 paragraph rants.How I handled it when the comments got personal.How I eventually “trolled the troll” with humor and kindness and watched him disappear (and reappear…and disappear again).Madame Strangeways & Fear of FeedbackA conversation with Madame Strangeways who was reluctant to ask for feedback because of a cyberbullying incident 20 years ago.How I encourage her (and you) to start with trusted fans and patrons as