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by Porn Free Millennial
If you ever thought about quitting porn or that it isn't healthy for you, you've come to the right place. I share my experiences with porn and my current recovery. My hope is that this can provide motivation and encouragement for you as we walk this path together! Additional Resources: Substack Publication: https://pornfreemillennial.substack.com/ Medium Publication: https://medium.com/porn-free-miillennial For a free 1:1 coaching consultation, email: PornFreeMillennial@gmail.com Music Opening Intro Episodes 1-2: Same Ol' by Philip E Morris Closing Outro Episodes 1-2: Mes(s)merized by Philip E Morris Opening Intro Episodes 7-9: Sunsetter by Shane Ivers Closing Outro Episodes 7-9: Sunsetter by Shane Ivers Opening Intro Episode 10-present: All Hyped Up by RAKKA Closing Outro Episodes 10-present: All Hyped Up by RAKKA pornfreemillennial.substack.com
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- 6 days ago2h 15m
Why Everything on TV Is So Sexualized | A Professor Explains
Is modern entertainment becoming more sexualized—or are we simply noticing it more?In this deep philosophical discussion, I sit down once again with Dr. Gregory Borse, professor of English, philosophy, and film at the University of Arkansas at Monticello, to revisit one of our most popular conversations and ask a question many people have been wondering:Why does it feel like almost every TV show and movie today is pushing sexuality?Connect with Gregory Borse on X and Substack:Drawing from literature, film history, philosophy, psychology, and technology, we explore how pornography fits into a much larger cultural story. From Hitchcock and Shakespeare to Netflix, Christopher Nolan, AI, and social media, this conversation looks beyond headlines to examine how technology is reshaping not only entertainment—but how we experience reality itself.Whether you’re in recovery from pornography, interested in film, or simply wondering why culture feels different today, this episode offers a thoughtful perspective that challenges assumptions from every angle.In This Episode* Why modern movies and television seem increasingly sexualized* The relationship between pornography, technology, and culture* Why Dr. Borse argues that porn is a symptom—not the root problem* How streaming services changed the way entertainment is consumed* The evolution of pornography from the ancient world to the digital age* Mechanical reproduction, AI, and what they mean for art and authenticity* Why technology has become an extension of the human nervous system* The erosion of standards in entertainment and society* Hitchcock, Kubrick, Christopher Nolan, and the importance of meaningful storytelling* The difference between art that serves the story and gratuitous sexual content* Beauty, mystery, and why some things were historically understood to remain sacred* How recovering from pornography changes the way you experience media* Practical thoughts for navigating entertainment without living in fearBooks & Authors Mentioned* Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction — Walter Benjamin* Unbinding Prometheus — Donald Cowan* Homer* Shakespeare* Ancient Greek LiteratureFilms & Television Discussed* Psycho* Eyes Wide Shut* The Odyssey (Christopher Nolan)* True Detective* Breaking Bad* Sons of Anarchy* The HobbitPrevious Conversations with Dr. Gregory BorseIf you enjoyed this discussion, be sure to check out our earlier conversations together:* 14. The Evolution of Pornography Through Culture & Technology* 21. From Hobbits to Heroes: Talking Lord of the Rings and Conquering Challenges* 28. Porn Is a Vampire (Halloween Special)* 31. Lonely Fans (with Dr. Gregory Borse)* 48. The Exorcist, Porn & Possession* 49. Pay Attention to Your Dreams* 52. Hitchcock Saw It Coming: Psycho and the Age of PornConnect with Dr. Gregory BorseDr. Gregory Borse is a professor
- 1 weeks ago1h 25m
68. How the Porn Relapse Cycle Works (And How to Break It)
Why Most Porn Relapses Don’t Happen in One Moment | The Stopwatch Recovery FrameworkMost men believe relapse happens in a single moment of weakness.It doesn’t.Relapse usually begins long before pornography ever enters the picture. It starts with a trigger... then a compromise... then a series of small decisions that quietly build momentum until it feels almost impossible to stop.In this episode of Porn Free Millennial, I break down the Stopwatch Recovery Framework—a practical recovery tool developed by my recovery coach, Vern Tompke, that completely changed how I think about relapse.To download the stopwatch framework, see below or click this article: The Anatomy of a Relapse.To follow along on video, check out my YouTube Channel.Instead of fighting at the last possible moment, you’ll learn how to recognize the cycle early, interrupt it, and build lasting freedom one decision at a time.Whether you’re struggling with pornography, another unwanted habit, or simply trying to build greater self-control, this episode will help you understand why recovery is won long before the relapse ever happens.In This Episode* Why relapse is usually a gradual drift—not a spontaneous explosion* The biggest myth that keeps people stuck in recovery* Understanding the stages of the relapse cycle* Why emotional triggers matter more than sexual triggers* How stress, loneliness, boredom, rejection, and shame start the stopwatch* The difference between preoccupation and pursuit* Why white-knuckling almost always fails* Practical strategies to interrupt the cycle before momentum builds* Building accountability, boundaries, and recovery systems* The role of identity in long-term freedom* James Clear’s Atomic Habits and “votes for your identity”* Daily recovery habits that build lasting peaceThe Stopwatch Recovery Cycle* Peace* Trigger* Preempt* Preoccupation* Pursuit* Porn Event* Pain* Protect* Promise* Return to Peace through action—not empty promisesKey Takeaways* Recovery isn’t won at the point of temptation.* Small compromises create powerful momentum.* Every decision casts a vote for the person you’re becoming.* Freedom isn’t built through one heroic moment—it is built through hundreds of honest decisions.* Systems beat willpower.* Identity drives behavior.Resources Mentioned* Finding Traction Podcast — Vern Tompke* Pastors on Porn Podcast — Vern Tompke* Atomic Habits — James Clear* Porn Free Radio — Matt Dobschuetz* Pure Desire Ministries* Ever Accountable Accountability Software - 14 day free trial & 20% off yearly/monthly plans* Victory App by James Menendez* I Am Sober* <a target="_blank" href="https://freedom.to/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid-search&utm_campaign=829-goog-frdm-bd-sub-ctry-usca-t1_brand-exphm-freedom_ap
- Jun 27, 20261h 12m
7 Common Lies That Keep You Hooked On Porn
Episode DescriptionPorn addiction rarely survives because of a lack of willpower.It survives because of the lies we quietly believe.In this live episode, Mac walks through seven of the most common lies that keep people trapped in unwanted pornography use. Drawing from nearly two decades of personal struggle, over eight years of recovery, coaching conversations, and biblical principles, he explains how these false beliefs shape identity—and how replacing them with truth is the beginning of lasting freedom.Whether you’re struggling personally or helping someone else, this conversation offers practical encouragement and a path toward hope.What You’ll Learn* Why porn addiction thrives on hidden beliefs* Why “I’m not hurting anyone” is one of the biggest lies* The difference between guilt and shame* Why relapse shouldn’t define your identity* Why recovery is about identity transformation—not behavior modification* How accountability changes everything* Why emotional healing matters more than white-knuckling* How to become the man or woman you actually want to becomeResources MentionedArticle7 Common Lies That Keep You Hooked on Porn: 🎙 Related Porn Free Millennial EpisodesEpisode 50 — Matt DobschuetzIdentity, recovery, and practical freedom.Episode 51 — Relapse, Recovery & RenewalMac shares his own relapse and what happened afterward.Episode 9 — Getting Back in the RingLearning to begin again after failure.Episode 53 — The Brush Popper PodcastConversation with Jim & Eric about the cowboy way and rescuing men from the thickets.Episode 55 — Jeanie Hosken, The Anatomy of a Real ApologyBiblical counseling, marriage, healing, and recovery.Episode 66—Danielle Johnson | Re-Fined, Shining Light on Human TraffickingHuman trafficking and pornography’s hidden impact.Books MentionedAtomic Habits — James ClearDiscipline Equals Freedom — Jocko WillinkPodcasts MentionedPorn Free RadioHost: Matt DobschuetzProgram: https://recoveredman.com/Finding TractionHost: Vern TompkeProgram: https://www.bandofbrothers.care/regular-joesOrganizations MentionedFlatirons Community ChurchFight Club Men’s Ministry: https://www.flatironschurch.com/men/Re-FinedAnti Human Trafficking Organization: https://re-fined.org/Memorable Quotes“Porn addiction thrives and survives on lies.”“Addiction loves tomorrow because tomorrow requires nothing from you today.”“Recovery started becoming real when I stopped thinking about freedom and started pursuing it.”“Don’t become the judge. Become the detective.”“Failure is an event—not your identity.”“Enough coping. Start digging.”“Lies imprison. Truth liberates.”“Freedom starts with identity.”Ready to Take the Next Step?If you’re tired of fighting this battle alone, you don’t have to.For nearly a decade I’ve walked this recovery journey myself, and today I help other men build lasting mom
- May 20, 20261h 51m
66. Shining Light Into the Darkness of Human Trafficking
Listener DiscretionThis episode contains discussions surrounding human trafficking, sexual exploitation, pornography, addiction, abuse, and child exploitation. Listener discretion is advised.Podcast NotesIn this important educational conversation, I sit down with Danielle Johnson of Re-Fined to discuss the realities of human trafficking, online exploitation, pornography’s role in fueling demand, and the growing dangers facing children in the digital age.Danielle shares insights from over a decade working in anti-trafficking advocacy, survivor care, addiction counseling, and prevention training throughout Colorado. Together, we unpack how trafficking actually operates, the psychological tactics of coercion and grooming, the rise of sextortion, and why digital culture has made exploitation more accessible than ever before.This episode is not intended to shame those struggling with pornography addiction, but rather to educate listeners on the deeper systems of exploitation connected to the industry while offering hope, healing, and awareness.Topics Discussed* What human trafficking actually is* Force, fraud, and coercion explained* The connection between pornography and trafficking demand* Online grooming and sextortion* Child exploitation in the digital age* The desensitization effects of pornography* Addiction, shame, and recovery* Survivor advocacy and long-term healing* How social media and technology have changed trafficking* Warning signs parents and communities should knowAbout Danielle JohnsonDanielle Johnson is the Director of Partnerships and Training Specialist at Re-Fined, an organization dedicated to supporting survivors of sexual exploitation and human trafficking through advocacy, education, mentorship, and recovery support.PFM Writings About Human TraffickingResources & Organizations Mentioned* Re-Fined* Fight the New Drug* Justice Defense Fund* Social Media Dangers Exposed by Mom Posing as 11 Year Old - Bark Video* OBLIVIOUS (short film about sex-trafficking)* Boys Documentary (Documentary about sex trafficking experiences of young boys)Support the Re-FinedListen/Watch/Read PFM* Read and Subsribe on Substack* Watch and Subscribe YouTube* Listen and follow on Apple Podcasts* Listen and Follow on SpotifyAffiliate PartnershipsEver AccountableIf you’re serious about building a life of integrity, accountability matters. Use the accountability software I use — it is rocket fuel for recovery!14-Day Free Trial & 20% Off Monthly or Yearly PlansUse my link here & watch my most recent podcast with the CEO!Ritual OrganicsI’d been using Ritual Organics products for over a year and love how it looks and works on my skin.Only 6 ingredients: Grass-fed tallow, organic jojoba, non-nano zinc, organic rosehip, vitamin E, and organic lavender.Small business. Holistic-minded products I actually use in everyday life.If you’ve been looking for cleaner alternatives and want to support a company doing things the right way, definitely check them out. New customers can also get 15% off their first purchase when signing up. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&ut
- May 14, 20261h 55m
65. Do the Right Thing & Tell the Truth
In this deeply honest and emotional episode of the Porn Free Millennial Podcast, I sit down with Alex Perez to talk about addiction, shame, divorce, dark pits of despair, healing, the importance family/friends, falling in love again, getting remarried, and finding victory through Christ.In this conversation, we reflect on the famous David Foster Wallace “fish and water” analogy—two young fish swimming along until an older fish asks, “How’s the water?” The younger fish eventually turns and asks, “What the hell is water?” That idea becomes a powerful metaphor throughout the episode that many people are so immersed in pornified modern culture, distraction, shame, and emotional isolation that they no longer even recognize the environment shaping them.In Episode 65, Alex shares how a childhood exposure to porn at just 10 years old slowly developed into a 15+ year addiction that distorted his identity, relationships, and view of intimacy. What began as curiosity eventually became isolation, secrecy, emotional coping, and hopelessness.We talk openly about:* The hidden emotional roots behind porn addiction* Shame vs guilt* Marriage, betrayal, and the devastating cost of secrecy* The lies addiction whispers* Why isolation fuels addiction* The power of brotherhood and accountability* Neuroplasticity and rewiring the mind* Recovery through Christ and radical honesty* The importance of “doing the next right thing and telling the truth”* Leading others to victory through Pure Desire courses at ChurchOne of the most powerful moments in the conversation comes when Alex recounts sitting alone with a gun to his head, fully convinced he was beyond saving — until he heard a quiet but unmistakable message from God:“Put the gun down and call your parents.”That moment became the turning point that eventually led him toward healing, recovery, remarriage, ministry work, and helping other men break free from porn addiction through the Pure Desire program.This episode is raw, hopeful, funny at times, deeply human, and packed with wisdom for anyone who feels trapped in “porn prison” and wonders if freedom is possible.Episode Highlights* Being exposed to porn as a child and how quickly it escalated* The “autopilot” nature of addiction and relapse cycles* Why porn addiction is often rooted in emotional wounds, not just lust* How secrecy and shame nearly led Alex to ending things all-together* The moment Christ changed everything* Why recovery requires truth, community, and accountability* The difference between guilt and shame* How porn distorts intimacy and relationships* Rebuilding identity after divorce and addiction* The role of brotherhood in long-term recovery* Why “white knuckling” recovery usually fails* Radical honesty and freedom from a hidden life* How helping others became part of Alex’s healing journeyMemorable Quotes“Porn tells you what sex is supposed to be like… but none of it is real.”“I didn’t even feel like a human being anymore.”“Do the next right thing and tell the truth.”“You think you’re alone… until you finally tell the truth and people stay.”“Porn doesn’t fill you up. It hollows you out.”“Freedom is possible. There is light at the end of that tunnel.”Resources Mentioned* My Conversation with Alex’s Mom, Kit Perez | Grey Cell Systems on Her Podcast - Change the Game Podcast S1 E13: Fragmentation, Addiction, and the Cost of Living a Split Life* Pure Desire Ministries* Pure Desire Podcast * Porn Free Radio Podcast (Matt Dobschuetz)* Finding Traction Podcast (Vern Tompke)* Jocko Podcast / Discipline Equals FreedomFinal ThoughtsThis conversation is a reminder that addiction thrives in darkness, but healing begins the moment truth enters the room.You are not too far gone.You are not uniquely broken.
- May 9, 202624 min
64. The Girl Down the Street
Episode 64 — The Girl Down the StreetInnocence Attacked, Childhood Porn Exposure, and the Wounds We Never Saw ComingIn this deeply personal solo episode, I read and reflect on my piece The Girl Down the Street — a story about first love, early porn exposure, emotional immaturity, and the hidden fallout pornography can have on relationships long before we even understand what’s happening.Drawing from a 2024 Missouri Medicine study on pornography exposure among youth, I explore how boys are often first exposed to porn around ages 10–11 and girls around ages 12–13, and how those early experiences can quietly shape identity, expectations, intimacy, and emotional development.This episode is not merely about addiction.It’s about innocence.The innocence of the young boy exposed too early…and the innocence of the people he would someday attempt to love while carrying a battle he did not yet understand.I share the story of my first girlfriend — “the girl down the street” — and reflect honestly on how a porn addiction that began in childhood affected the way I viewed love, relationships, jealousy, emotional connection, and intimacy.This is an episode about:* the unseen emotional fallout of pornography* the quiet heartbreak many young women carry* the normalization of hyper-sexualization* and the importance of guidance, accountability, and honest conversations with the next generationIn This Episode* The average age young boys and girls are first exposed to porn* Why the word “exposed” matters* The “3 A’s” fueling modern porn consumption:* Affordability* Accessibility* Anonymity* How pornography shapes emotional development and relationship expectations* The hidden effect porn had on my first relationships* Why many young men carry battles they never chose* The connection between porn, jealousy, objectification, and emotional immaturity* The importance of protecting innocence in the digital age* Parenting, guidance, and having empathetic conversations with kids* Why shame and isolation often deepen addictionKey Quotes“Pornography is not merely shaping private behavior. It’s shaping emotional development.”“The innocence of the people he would someday attempt to love while carrying a battle he did not yet understand.”“Two kids. One wounded in silence and shame. One wounded by fallout and blame.”“That’s where the disenchantment starts — not in adulthood, but in childhood.”Resources & Links* Read the reflection: The Girl Down the Street* 2024 Missouri Medicine Study: Effects of Pornography on Youth: A Review* Ever Accountable Accountability Software 14 Free Trial and 20% off per month/year* Ritual Organics Affiliate Link* My episodes with Tyler Patterson, CEO of Ever Accountable* Episode 60* Episode 46* Porn Free Millennial SubstackCoaching & CollaborationI offer 1-on-1 coaching for men seeking freedom from pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.For a free 30-minute consultation:Email: pornfreemillennialcoaching@gmail.comBook a callIf you have a story to share or work in the recovery space and would like to collaborate on the podcast, feel free to reach out.Keep fighting the good fight.Much love.
- Apr 23, 20262h 4m
63. Victory in Christ: Identity-Based Freedom w/ James Menendez
Porn Free Millennial Podcast – Episode 63Victory in Christ: Identity-Based Freedom w/ James MenendezEpisode OverviewThere’s a version of you on the other side of everything you’re struggling with right now—free, clear, and at peace.The real question is how do you get there?In this episode, Mac sits down with returning guest James Menendez author of Creation Awaits and Creation Press (Episode 34) to unpack a powerful story of redemption, healing, and what true transformation actually looks like.James shares how he found lasting freedom from porn—not through behavior modification, but through identity in Christ—and how that journey led him to build the Victory in Christ app.If you’ve ever felt stuck in cycles of shame, secrecy, or relapse… this conversation will challenge everything you thought recovery was about.Episode Highlights* Why porn addiction is a symptom—not the root problem* The role of shame, secrecy, and hidden life in keeping you stuck* How grace + truth creates real freedom (not just willpower)* The breakthrough moment: confession and radical honesty* Why behavior modification alone doesn’t work* Understanding “strongholds” and the lies we believe* The 3 core human needs:→ Acceptance→ Security→ Significance* How identity in Christ replaces false identity* Spiritual warfare explained through 2 Corinthians 10 (battle of the mind)* The power of speaking truth out loud (Stronghold Declarations)* Why secrecy fuels addiction—and exposure breaks itAbout the Victory in Christ AppJames created the Victory in Christ app to address what most recovery tools miss:Not just behavior… but belief.Instead of focusing on “stop watching porn,” the app helps you:* Identify the lies driving your behavior* Replace them with truth rooted in Scripture* Build daily habits around identity transformation* Use tools like:* Sobriety tracking* Stronghold declarations (truth statements)* AI-assisted reflection to uncover root beliefs* Identity-based recovery courseNo more white-knuckling.This is identity-based freedom.Key Concept: StrongholdsA stronghold is a deeply rooted lie you believe about yourself or God.Example:* Lie: “I’m not enough”* Truth: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”The process:* Identify the lie* Renounce it* Replace it with truth* Speak that truth dailyThis is where transformation actually happens.Spiritual Warfare (Simplified)James breaks down how the real battle isn’t just behavior—it’s in the mind:* Lies → Belief → Behavior* Truth → Freedom → TransformationUsing scripture (like 2 Corinthians 10), he explains how to:* Take thoughts captive* Replace lies with truth* Actively fight back, not passively resistConnect with James MenendezVictory in Christ App: https://victoryinchrist.app/Substack (Creation Awaits):Creation Press:No Longer Slaves (fictional novel): https://creationpress.substack.com/s/no-longer-slavesEmail / Contact: If anyone wants to contact James directly, they can email James at victoryinchrist.app@proton.me or creationawaits@proton.meOther Platforms (YouTube, X, etc.):Creation Awaits YouTube Channel: @creationawaitsCreation Awaits LinkTree:linktr.ee/creationawaitsBooks / Resources Mentioned* Freedom in Christ Ministries (Identity-based disci
- Apr 21, 202640 min
62. Why Are You Still Carrying Her?
Why Are You Still Carrying Her? | Learning When to Let GoEpisode DescriptionIn this episode, I read a personal reflection inspired by a night at a place that no longer exists—the historic Dark Horse Saloon in Boulder, Colorado.What started as a simple night out turned into something deeper… a lesson about the mind, desire, and what we choose to carry long after the moment has passed.Through an old parable—The Two Monks and the Woman—this episode explores a truth that hits at the core of recovery, identity, and integrity:You can follow every rule… and still be the one carrying the weight.This is a reflection on letting go—not just physically, but mentally. Not just behaviorally, but internally.If you’ve ever struggled with intrusive thoughts, temptation, or the feeling of being stuck in your own mind…this episode is for you.🔑 What This Episode Explores The difference between the letter of the law vs. the spirit of the law Why avoidance alone isn’t true freedom The danger of “carrying” thoughts long after the moment Reframing how we see beauty, desire, and dignity What real transformation actually looks like📖 Read the Full Reflection👉 Why Are You Still Carrying Her?🎥 Watch & Subscribe▶️ YouTube🎧 Listen on Podcast Platforms🍎 Apple Podcasts🎵 Spotify🔐 Tools for Breaking FreeIf you're serious about building a life of integrity, accountability matters.👉 Ever Accountable 14-Day Free Trial 20% Off Monthly or Yearly PlansUse my link here💬 Final ReflectionThe older monk set her down at the river.The younger monk carried her for miles and hours.The question is—what are you still carrying? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe
About Porn Free Millennial Podcast
If you ever thought about quitting porn or that it isn't healthy for you, you've come to the right place. I share my experiences with porn and my current recovery. My hope is that this can provide motivation and encouragement for you as we walk this path together! Additional Resources: Substack Publication: https://pornfreemillennial.substack.com/ Medium Publication: https://medium.com/porn-free-miillennial For a free 1:1 coaching consultation, email: PornFreeMillennial@gmail.com Music Opening Intro Episodes 1-2: Same Ol' by Philip E Morris Closing Outro Episodes 1-2: Mes(s)merized by Philip E Morris Opening Intro Episodes 7-9: Sunsetter by Shane Ivers Closing Outro Episodes 7-9: Sunsetter by Shane Ivers Opening Intro Episode 10-present: All Hyped Up by RAKKA Closing Outro Episodes 10-present: All Hyped Up by RAKKA pornfreemillennial.substack.com
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