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Mother Daughter Relationship Show: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Brittney Scott
Are you tired of trying to get your mom to understand your pain and apologize, just to be left feeling worse than when you started? I get it! What if I told you that you could heal your mother wound and your inner child, even if your mom wont take any accountability for her behavior or your childhood? Let's be real, it takes a self aware mother to acknowledge hurt done to her daughter. You’re healing should not rely on her being self aware. Welcome to the Mother Daughter Relationship Show, the go to podcast for mother daughter relationships, mother wound healing, eldest daughters, and women learning to mother when they weren’t mothered. I’m your host, Brittney Scott - mother daughter therapist and coach, the eldest daughter and mom to a daughter, book nerd, scripted show over reality show person. I understand the position of the eldest daughter and I know what healthy relationships look and feel like. I’ve worked with women like you who want better relationships and want to stop t
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- 5 days ago44 min
What I Wish I’d Known About My Daughter’s Eating Disorder: An Author Interview [Ep. 92]
Navigating Eating Disorders and Mother-Daughter Healing with Special Guest Jennifer Longenecker In this poignant and vulnerable episode of The Mother-Daughter Relationship Show, host Brittney sits down with special guest Jennifer Longenecker, author of Held in the Dark.As a mother of five who walked alongside her daughter Heather through a severe eating disorder, Jennifer shares her raw, unfiltered journey of early warning signs, navigating the maze of treatment centers, insurance roadblocks, and learning how to step out of "food police mode" to rebuild trust. This episode serves as an essential lifeline, gentle reminder, and guide for any parent or young woman facing the shadows of an eating disorder.<< Enter The Book Giveaway >>With this episode you’ll be able to:Identifying the subtle and overt indicators of an eating disorder in teens and young adults, such as hidden meals, changing food routines, and excessive or compulsive over-exercising disguised as athletic training.Exploring the heavy feelings of isolation, frustration, and misplaced guilt that parents experience when trying to understand, confront, and support a child through a mental health crisis.Breaking down the continuum of care ranging from outpatient therapy and Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP) to Partial Hospitalization (PHP) and residential treatment centers.Discussing the difficulties families face with insurance approvals, waitlists, and managing rigid coverage limits that dictate how long a patient can stay in a treatment facility.The crucial shift parents must make from policing a child's plate and constantly monitoring food intake to trusting specialized clinical care teams and becoming a safe, supportive Acknowledging that healing is not a straight line, and how major life transitions, high-stress environments, or demanding job schedules can trigger old coping mechanisms.Discussing the inspiration behind writing Held in the Dark to bridge the gap for parents, alongside helpful community resources like F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders) to help families realize they are not alone.Connect with Brittney:Instagram: @theBrittneyScottWebsite: www.brittneymscott.comConsultation to work with BrittneyFree ResourcesKey Takeaways:Eating disorders are clinical illnesses, not parental failures.Look beyond the food and exercise.Step out of "food police mode".Recovery is non-linear.You are not alone in the fight.Mind your words and compliment character over body.Thank you for listening. Don't forget you can submit your question! And yes, I really am going to give you an answer in an upcoming podcast.and be sure to say hi on Instagram!Resources MentionedFeatured Book: Held in the Dark by Jennifer LongeneckerWhere to Find the Book: Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Walmart, and Books-A-MillionSupport Group Resource: F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders) – Support groups available weekly at feast_edAssessment Quiz: Check for early signs of concern at heldinthedark.com Additional Bonuses: https://jenniferhopelongenecker.com/bonuses.Help me reach more service providers like you by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/06rbWqlxFj58Didw
- 1 weeks ago40 min
Feeling Rage or Anger AND Father Wounds [Ep. 91]
Listener Q&A - Why Anger Feels Like the Only Answer (Plus Father Wounds)In this listener question episode, I tackle two submissions. The first comes from an anonymous daughter of a mother with addiction and narcissistic traits, who is now estranged and asks how to self-regulate her anger response so she can maintain a limited relationship as her mother ages. I explain how anger becomes a wired-in “factory setting” from childhood - the response your brain learned got you noticed, heard, or attended to - and why it’s often a reaction protecting a different emotion underneath. I walk through practical self-regulation tools including specific breathing techniques and progressive muscle relaxation (complete with the lemon-squeezing and baby elephant exercises I use with clients), plus the deeper work of deciding who you want to be and practicing new responses with someone you trust. The second question comes from a listener asking about father wounds on behalf of a client - I break down the attunement versus validation distinction some experts draw between mother and father wounds, and why accepting the parent you actually received (not the one you deserved) is the necessary first step before any healing can happen.With this episode you’ll be able to:Understand why anger can become a learned “factory setting” response from childhoodRecognize anger as sometimes a secondary emotion protecting what’s underneathLearn specific breathing techniques and progressive muscle relaxation for calming your bodyDecide who you want to be and practice new responses with a trusted adultUnderstand the potential distinction between mother wounds (attunement) and father wounds (validation)Recognize why accepting who your parent actually is must come before healing can beginSeparate a parent’s failures from your own sense of self-worthDon’t forget: a tense body can panic, but a calm body cannot - working on physical calm is often where self-regulation has to start.<< Submit Your Own Question >>Mentioned resources:Progressive muscle relaxation technique (demonstrated with specific exercises)“Father Wound: Break Unhealthy Patterns to Reclaim Your Worth and Power” by Terry Cole“Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” (recommended reading)Link in show notes to submit your own listener questionsHelp me reach more mothers and daughters by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & Spotify!Connect with Brittney:Instagram: @theBrittneyScottWebsite: www.brittneymscott.comConsultation to work with BrittneyFree ResourcesKeyword tags: anger response, self-regulation, listener Q&A, father wounds, progressive muscle relaxation, breathing techniques, narcissistic mother, Brittney Scott, estrangement, emotional regulation, parent wounds, accepting limitations
- 2 weeks ago25 min
Breaking What Was Passed Down: Why Knowing Isn’t Enough [Ep. 90]
Why Knowing the Pattern Isn’t Enough to Stop It (Part 2)Continuing last week’s conversation on the four patterns in mother-daughter relationships, this episode tackles the harder question: why does understanding a pattern rarely stop it? I explain why your body learned these roles before your mind had words for them - the quick “yes” before you can even think, the urge to soothe, all wired in during childhood when your brain was still developing. I break down three reasons change is so difficult: your nervous system reacts before your thinking brain catches up, roles carry their own gravity because they once gave you identity and rewards, and families push back when one person starts to shift the system. Most importantly, I walk through what change actually looks like in stages - noticing the pattern in the moment, creating space before reacting, making small different choices, and holding steady through pushback - plus what stepping out of each of the four roles (the one who owes, obeys, carries, and soothes) actually feels like in practice.<< Buy The Workbook >>With this episode you’ll be able to:Understand why your body reacts with old patterns before your mind catches upRecognize why stepping out of a long-held role can feel like betrayal, even when it’s healthyExpect and prepare for family pushback when you start changing established dynamicsLearn the actual stages of change: noticing, creating space, small choices, and holding steadyKnow what stepping out of each of the four roles feels like in real, practical termsUnderstand that repair isn’t always the goal - healing can happen with or without reconnectionRecognize that breaking the cycle can start from either the mother’s side or the daughter’s sideDon’t forget: you don’t need your mother’s participation to stop passing the pattern down or heal the little girl inside of you - you can break the cycle even if she never changes.Mentioned resources:Break the Cycle: Healing Painful Mother-Daughter Dynamics workbook (nine chapters, $67)Expanding self-study course with guidance on what to bring to your own therapistPrevious episode naming the four patterns (guilt, disrespect, parentification, apology-soothing)Scripts and exercises for navigating difficult conversations and pushbackHelp me reach more mothers and daughters by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & Spotify!Keyword tags: breaking cycles, behavior change, nervous system patterns, family pushback, Break the Cycle workbook, Brittney Scott, stages of change, role gravity, repair vs boundaries, mother daughter healing, generational patterns, stepping out of roles
- 3 weeks ago20 min
4 Patterns Mothers Pass Down and Daughters Inherit [Ep. 89]
Show Notes: Four Patterns Keeping You Stuck in the Same Cycle With Your Mom (Part 1)In this eye-opening first installment of a two-part series, I name four patterns that show up repeatedly in mother-daughter relationships. The ones that leave you feeling 12 years old again even with a mortgage and kids of your own. From guilt used as a tool to get a certain response, to disagreement treated as disrespect, to being leaned on as your mother’s partner or therapist, to apologies that somehow end with you comforting her. I break down exactly what each pattern sounds like, what it feels like in your body, and the role it forces you into. I also explain why these patterns rarely happen on purpose; they’re usually inherited from your grandmother and passed down quietly through tone of voice and family silence. Most importantly, I validate that recognizing a pattern doesn’t erase decades of conditioning, and two things can be true at once: it isn’t your fault, and it still hurts.<< Grab The WorkBook Here >>With this episode you’ll be able to:Identify guilt used as a tool versus healthy guilt that aligns with your valuesRecognize when disagreement has been conflated with disrespect in your familyName parentification when your mother leans on you as a partner or second parentSpot the pattern where you end up comforting her after bringing up your own hurtUnderstand that these patterns are usually inherited, not intentionally createdSee that you can hold both understanding for your mother and acknowledgment of what it cost youRecognize these patterns whether you sit in the daughter role or see yourself in the mother roleDon’t forget: recognizing the pattern isn’t the same as stopping it - next week’s episode covers what it actually takes to break the cycle, not just understand it.Mentioned resources:Break the Cycle: Healing Painful Mother-Daughter Dynamics workbook ($67, includes all future updates)Upcoming full self-study course (complete by January 2027)Guidance on what to bring to your own therapist from the workbookReconnection Rescue program for those pursuing reconnectionHelp me reach more mothers and daughters by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & Spotify!Keyword tags:guilt patterns, disrespect vs disagreement, parentification, eldest daughter, apology patterns, generational cycles, Break the Cycle workbook, Brittney Scott, inherited patterns, family roles, emotional caretaking, mother daughter dynamics
- Oct 12, 202620 min
Your Mom’s Disapproval Doesn’t Mean You’re Wrong [Ep. 88]
Navigating Different Life Choices & Values from Your Mother Being the one in your family who does things differently whether it's parenting, career paths, faith, or personal values can be exhausting. In this episode, Brittney explores the emotional weight of living with a mother’s disapproval and offers guidance on how to stop over-explaining, build internal self-trust, and maintain family connection without compromising your authentic self. With this episode you’ll learn:The Weight of Choosing Differently: Bracing for disapproval when your life choices diverge from your mother's. Why differing values from faith and career to relationship choices and parenting apply across the board.The deeper emotional fatigue of constantly defending your decisions.A lighthearted look at generational differences in parenting and safety concerns. Why a daughter’s different choice is not a rejection of her upbringing or a mother's worth. You don't need permission or approval to live your own life. How to separate a loved one’s reaction from the validity of your decision. Protecting relationships by focusing on areas of shared connection rather than points of friction.Connect with Brittney:Instagram: @theBrittneyScottWebsite: www.brittneymscott.comConsultation to work with BrittneyFree ResourcesKey Takeaways:The Exhaustion of Being the "Cycle Breaker": Living differently often comes with endless explaining, justifying, and bracing for judgment from family members.Understanding Her Disapproval: A mother's disapproval is frequently less about your choices and more about her own internal reflections or generational beliefs about what is "right".Closeness Without Sameness: You do not need to share identical values or life choices to have a warm, connected relationship with your mother.Building Self-Trust: Real self-trust comes from separating someone else’s emotional reaction to your decision from the actual merit of the choice itself.Establishing Healthy Boundaries: Learn to state decisions clearly as complete sentences without feeling obligated to offer follow-up justifications or debate.Thank you for listening. Don't forget you can submit your question! And yes, I really am going to give you an answer in an upcoming podcast.and be sure to say hi on Instagram!Help me reach more service providers like you by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & Spotify!Keyword tags:MotherDaughterRelationship #CycleBreaker #FamilyBoundaries #SelfTrust #GenerationalDifferences #MotherDaughterPodcast #PersonalGrowth #HealthyBoundaries #AuthenticLiving
- Oct 2, 202638 min
Navigating Adoption From an Agency Owner [Ep. 87]
Motherhood Beyond Biology: Navigating Open Adoption & Lifelong Connections In this episode of The Mother-Daughter Relationship Show, host Brittney sits down with Donna, the owner of an adoption agency, to explore how modern adoption agencies operate and how they support both birth mothers and adoptive families. Before the interview, Brittany shares her perspective on how adoption intersects with mother-daughter relationships, highlighting the unique dynamics involving both birth mothers and adoptive mothers. Donna shares what inspired her to start her agency back in 1998, how her team prioritizes respect and informed choices for birth parents, and how they use technology to facilitate ongoing connection between families. The conversation also tackles the complex emotional landscape of adoption, including addressing the needs and autonomy of adopted children as they grow. With this episode you’ll understand:Complexity of Adoption in Mother-Daughter Dynamics: For adopted daughters, understanding mother-daughter relationships involves navigating connections with both adoptive mothers and birth mothers, making the concept of motherhood multifaceted.Centering Respect and Choice: Donna's agency was founded to ensure birth mothers are treated with deep respect and dignity, emphasizing informed choice without pressure.Empowering the Adopted Child: Adoptive parents can support and empower their children by being honest about their origins, providing age-appropriate information, and giving them the tools to seek answers as they grow.Overcoming Adoption Stigmas: Donna’s work aims to debunk historical and cultural stigmas surrounding adoption by fostering open dialogue, transparency, and education for all parties involved.Shift to Open Adoption: Modern practices have moved away from secrecy; open adoptions are now widely recognized as beneficial for the child’s emotional development and identity formation.Support Beyond Placement: The agency's role does not end at placement; ongoing post-placement support, counseling, and connection tools are essential for the long-term well-being of birth and adoptive families.Fluctuating Connection Boundaries: Open adoption relationships require flexibility, as communication frequency and emotional readiness naturally evolve for birth parents and children over different stages of life.Empowering Honesty from Day One: Adoptive parents build deeper trust by maintaining age-appropriate transparency about a child's adoption story, helping prevent feelings of betrayal or confusion later in life.Connect with Brittney:Instagram: @theBrittneyScottWebsite: www.brittneymscott.comConsultation to work with BrittneyFree ResourcesKey TakeawaysFocus on Child Autonomy & Lifelong Connections: Donna emphasizes that adoption is an evolving, lifelong journey. She advocates for adoptive parents to practice early, age-appropriate honesty so adopted children grow up empowered in their identity and possess the tools to explore their roots whenever they choose. Thank you for listening. Don't forget you can submit your question! And yes, I really am going to give you an answer in an upcoming podcast.and be sure to say hi on Instagram!Resources MentionedHeartsConnect: A private, moderated online platform used by Donna's agency that allows adoptive families to post photos and updates for birth mothers to access at their own pace. Help me reach more service providers like you by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & Spotify!Keyword tags:</
- Sep 25, 202634 min
Growing Up With a Narcissistic Mother [Ep. 86]
When Your Mother’s Patterns Follow You Into Adulthood Growing up with a mother who consistently centered herself, needed admiration, struggled with empathy, or made love feel conditional can shape far more than childhood. Those early experiences can influence how you see yourself, the relationships you choose, your friendships, and even how you parent your own children.In this episode, we shift the focus away from understanding Mom and toward understanding you—the patterns you may have developed to survive childhood and the ways those patterns can still show up decades later.With this episode you’ll hear about:Hypervigilance and constantly monitoring other people's moodsPeople-pleasing and difficulty being yourselfLosing touch with your own needs and wantsParentification and taking responsibility for a parent's emotionsPerfectionism and tying worth to achievement or performanceDifficulty trusting your own perception and intuitionFear of being "too much"Low self-esteem and conditional beliefs about your worthWe also look at how these patterns can carry into romantic relationships, including choosing self-focused or critical partners, struggling to trust unconditional love, overgiving, anxiety around conflict, and difficulty identifying what you actually need.In friendships, these patterns may look like overfunctioning, difficulty setting boundaries, gravitating toward one-sided relationships, and feeling as though people value you primarily for what you do rather than simply for who you are.When you become a parent, old wounds can become especially visible. You may experience a fear of becoming your mother, overcorrect in the opposite direction, or find yourself unexpectedly triggered by your child's normal needs and big emotions.You can intentionally break the cycle.Key Takeaways:The adaptations that helped you survive childhood may not serve you in adulthood.Familiar relationship dynamics can feel safe even when they're unhealthy.Healthy, calm relationships can initially feel unfamiliar or even "boring."Knowing your own needs is a skill that can be strengthened through practice.You don't have to swing from one extreme to another to break a cycle; intentional change matters.Being triggered doesn't mean you're failing. What matters is what you do after you notice the trigger.Self-esteem is rebuilt through repeated experiences of choosing yourself, expressing your needs, and recognizing your own worth.Thank you for listening. Don't forget you can submit your question! And yes, I really am going to give you an answer in an upcoming podcast.and be sure to say hi on Instagram!Help me reach more service providers like you by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & Spotify!Keyword tags:#NarcissisticMother #NarcissisticParent #MotherDaughterRelationship #DysfunctionalFamily #ChildhoodTrauma #EmotionalNeglect #EmotionalAbuse #Parentification #PeoplePleasing #Hypervigilance #WalkingOnEggshells #LowSelfEsteem #Perfectionism #HealingFromChildhood #InnerChildHealing #HealingJourney #BreakingTheCycle #CycleBreaking #ConsciousParenting #GentleParenting #ParentingAfterTrauma #HealthyRelationships #RelationshipPatterns #RelationshipHealing #SettingBoundaries #HealthyBoundaries #SelfWorth #SelfTrust #SelfEsteem #TraumaHealing #AttachmentHealing #CodependencyRecovery #FamilyDynamics #ChildhoodWounds #HealingGenerationalTrauma #DaughtersOfNarcissisticMothers #AdultChildrenOfNarcissists #EmotionalHealing #PersonalGrowth #MentalHealthAwareness
- Sep 18, 202627 min
Loving a Mother With Narcissistic Traits [Ep. 85]
Episode 85: Loving a Mother With Narcissistic Traits Without Losing Yourself What happens when you love your mother, but the relationship continues to hurt you?In this episode, Brittney explores what it can be like to have a mother with narcissistic traits and why you don't need an official diagnosis to recognize the impact certain patterns have had on your life.Rather than focusing on labels, this episode looks at the behaviors and relationship dynamics that can leave daughters feeling confused, invalidated, and disconnected from their own reality. Brittney also talks about the complicated grief of loving someone who may genuinely love you while still being unable to provide the kind of consistent, emotionally attuned relationship you need.Most importantly, the episode explores how you can protect yourself while deciding what relationship, if any, you want to have with your mother.In this episode, you'll hear about: Why "narcissist" and "gaslighting" have become overused and why focusing on patterns matters more than labelsLack of empathy and difficulty seeing your perspectiveA mother's need for admiration, control, or to always be rightConditional warmth and approval based on your accomplishments or how you reflect on herDifficulty tolerating criticism or accountabilityGaslighting and having your memories or experiences deniedPlaying the victim when you're the one who has been hurtTriangulating siblings and other family membersThe difference between how a mother presents publicly and how she behaves at homeWhy loving a mother who hurts you can be so confusingGrieving the mother you needed but may never haveWhy your mother's limitations are not evidence that you're unlovableStaying connected without giving up your emotional safetyAdjusting expectations to match reality rather than hoping someone will become who you need them to beSetting boundaries without waiting for your mother's approval or accountabilityProtecting your sense of reality when gaslighting has been part of the relationshipUsing journaling and trusted relationships to reinforce your own memories and intuitionThe "gray rock" strategy for high-conflict interactionsWhy you are allowed to choose closeness, distance, or no relationship at allKey Takeaways:You don't have to choose between loving your mother and taking care of yourself.You are allowed to recognize the reality of the relationship, adjust your expectations, establish boundaries, protect your emotional wellbeing, and decide for yourself what the relationship looks like.Loving her can be your choice. Protecting yourself can be your choice, too.Connect with Brittney:Instagram: @theBrittneyScottWebsite: www.brittneymscott.comConsultation to work with BrittneyFree ResourcesA note from BrittanyIf you've spent years wondering whether you were the problem, questioning your memories, or trying to change yourself to finally receive the love and approval you needed, this episode is a reminder: you are not crazy, you are not a bad daughter, and you were not responsible for your mother's limitations.Thank you for listening. Don't forget you can submit your question! And yes, I really am going to give you an answer in an upcoming podcast.and be sure to say hi on Instagram!Help me reach more service providers like you by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & Spotify!Keyword tags:#NarcissisticMother #NarcissisticTraits #MotherDaughterRelationship #ToxicMother #EmotionalAbuse #Gaslighting #ChildhoodTrauma #HealingFromTrauma #FamilyBoundaries #HealthyBoundaries #DifficultMother #HealingJourney
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About Mother Daughter Relationship Show
Are you tired of trying to get your mom to understand your pain and apologize, just to be left feeling worse than when you started? I get it! What if I told you that you could heal your mother wound and your inner child, even if your mom wont take any accountability for her behavior or your childhood? Let's be real, it takes a self aware mother to acknowledge hurt done to her daughter. You’re healing should not rely on her being self aware. Welcome to the Mother Daughter Relationship Show, the go to podcast for mother daughter relationships, mother wound healing, eldest daughters, and women learning to mother when they weren’t mothered. I’m your host, Brittney Scott - mother daughter therapist and coach, the eldest daughter and mom to a daughter, book nerd, scripted show over reality show person. I understand the position of the eldest daughter and I know what healthy relationships look and feel like. I’ve worked with women like you who want better relationships and want to stop t
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