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by Brian and Jamie Hackney
Brian and Jamie Hackney, founders of Long Haul Marriage, discuss all things marriage in this raw, real, casual, and fun podcast. Married for 35 years, and having coached over 3000 couples, they share what they've learned, mostly the hard way, hoping to encourage couples, giving them tools that will strengthen their relationship, so they can be in it for the long haul!To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriageFollow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok.To donate to LHM: https://longhaulmarriage.betterworld.org
Latest Episodes
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- 4 days ago36 min
We Don't Have Time! (Part 9 of 10) 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your Marriage
Time! There's never enough of it, huh!? We jam pack our lives with so many things, some more important than others...family, work, sports, school, friends, hobbies...but at the end of the day, most of us feel like there just aren't enough hours in that proverbial day. Not to mention the clock's tickin' and it's flying by.But, do we have a time problem, or do we actually have a priority problem. What's important to you? What do you value? Is your calendar lining up with your priorities, or is it being mastered by people and activities that you couldn't care less about?Today, we discuss how fast the years go, and more importantly, how many of the good things get squeezed out by the less good things.Work, school, phones, social media, sports, friends, endless lists of activites - even when you're leaning into the things that matter to you, life can still feel genuinely overwhelming. And all of this can affect your marriage in negative ways.The solution isn't necessarily another date night. Today, Jamie and I talk about practical, every day, SMALL deposits of connection.Weekly challenge:The 15-min rule:Every day for one week:15 uninterrupted minutes togetherNo phones, no TV, no household logisticsJust connection!As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage!We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast. For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org. Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter.To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage. To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email brian@longhaulmarriage.org, or jamie@longhaulmarriage.org.Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR
- 1 weeks ago53 min
The Kids Are Taking Over (Part 8 of 10) 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your Marriage
Parenting! You started your family because you wanted children. Somewhere along the way, you accidentally built your entire life around them - and your marriage got whatever was left.It's definitely a challenge, but learning to parent with your spouse as a "united front" can be one of the best investments you can make that will pay major dividends in the future - fostering, and nurturing your kids to become mature adults who will want to be in relationship with their parents, even though the relationship will look different than when they were in your home.In today's episode, we discuss:Parenting disagreementsDisciplineScreen TimeSchool activitiesOver-schedulingLosing couple identityBottom line - through it all, your kids need to see that your marriage matters!One day, they will leave, and your spouse remains.Weekly Challenge:Couple time - no kids, and no kid talk for 30 minutesPlan a family meetingAs always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage!We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast. For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org. Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter.To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage. To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email brian@longhaulmarriage.org, or jamie@longhaulmarriage.org.Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR
- 2 weeks ago53 min
Can I Trust You Again? (Part 7 of 10) 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your Marriage
Trust, Betrayal & InfidelityTrust can take years to build and seconds to destroy. But what happens after it's broken?In our 7th episode of this series, we discuss how hard it is to rebuild trust after it's been destroyed. In our experience working with hundreds of couples who have experienced infidelity of some kind, we've seen first-hand how devastating it can be - a bomb that blows up everything as you know it, and how important it is to avoid it at all costs. We've also had the privilege of walking through the rebuilding of trust post-infidelity, and have witnessed literal miracles, when people do the long, hard work of taking responsibility, seeking accountability, getting to the root of the problem, choosing forgiveness, and building a new marriage, built on a new foundation.This is perhaps the hardest storm on earth to weather, and forgiveness is not a given. But, contrary to what our culture might say, to choose forgiveness isn't weakness - it could be the strongest choice you could make under the circumstances.Whether it's cheating, lies, porn, secret or hidden accounts, emotional affairs, broken promises, or boundary violations, the destruction these all do in marriage can be widespread, massive, and catastrophic.We hope to inspire you to talk openly about this area, and to install necessary and prudent boundaries in your life and marriages to combat the myriad of temptations that are sure to come against your faithfulness to one another.Weekly challenge:For couples currently not dealing with betrayal:Discuss: What boundaries do we want our marriage to have before we're ever tested.For couples currently dealing with rebuilding trust after betrayal:Discuss: In what areas are you still struggling? Do you feel stuck? Have you sought help?We would be honored to help you walk through this challenge if you're struggling in this area.As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage!We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast. For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org. Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter.To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage. To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email brian@longhaulmarriage.org, or jamie@longhaulmarriage.org.Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR
- 3 weeks ago40 min
Who's Carrying The Load? (Part 6 of 10) 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your Marriage
Nothing kills affection quite like feeling like you're carrying the entire marriage by yourself.It's not about "husbands do this, and wives do that." And the question isn't whether everything is exactly 50/50. The realy question is whether both spouses believe the marriage is being carried by BOTH of them.In part 6 of our 10 part series, we discuss more than just the "division of labor" in our homes. We discuss the importance of being seen, noticed, appreciated, and truly valued as a team mate, a partner in the marriage who making valuable contributions to the health of the family. We talk about how many wives feel they carry the emotional/mental load in the home, and what husbands can do to lighten that burden. When it comes to housework, kids, scheduling, cooking, yard work, household maintenance, finances - who is doing the lion's share, are both spouses pulling their weight, and most importantly, are we noticing our spouse's efforts, and are we verbalizing our appreciation. It can go a long way!!Our challenge this week:List what you notice your partner doing, what you feel your partner doesn't notice you doing, and things that you feel your partner does appreciate you doing. Trade lists - no defense, no judgement. See what honest conversation around this can produce in your marriage. If you need a reset in this area, let this be a start.Bonus challenge - Notice what happens when you are thankful for your spouse in specific areas, and actually express that to them this week!As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage!We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast. For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org. Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter.To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage. To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email brian@longhaulmarriage.org, or jamie@longhaulmarriage.org.Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR
- Oct 13, 202652 min
Follow The Money (Part 5 of 10) 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your Marriage
Money doesn't always cause every marriage problem, but it has a remarkable ability to expose them.In today's episode (part 5 of 10 part series), we discuss all things finances!! We touch on the different attitudes spouses bring to the subject of our money - spender vs. saver, different priorities, family of origin influences, and more. We key on the importance budgeting, yes, but more on communication and openly sharing emotions that might be underlying heated conversations around debt, unequal income, "my money/ your money", financial fears, and even the way we parent our kids and 'their" money. One spouse sees $200 spent on something "unnecessary." The other sees "I work hard. Why can't I enjoy spending on whatever I want?" We are NOT arguing about $200. We are arguing about values, control, and respect.Our challenge this week:Each spouse independently creates three catergories - Needs, Wants, Future, and then compare the lists.We hope this creates new conversations that are more productive, giving each spouse more empathy and insight into where the other is coming from, and creates a united front to tackle this difficult subject as a team!As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage!We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast. For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org. Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter.To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage. To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email brian@longhaulmarriage.org, or jamie@longhaulmarriage.org.Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR
- Oct 6, 202648 min
The Same Damn Argument (Part 4 of 10) 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your Marriage
Have you ever had an argument with your spouse and halfway through thought, "Wait, we've had this exact argument 100 times!"?In part 4 of our 10 part series, we discuss recurring arguments, and what's really going on beneath the surface which leads to escalation, stonewalling, defensiveness, criticism, contempt, scorekeeping, and unresolved wounds.The argument is usually NOT about the argument...The dirty dishes mean: "I don't feel appreciated." The money argument may mean: "I don't feel secure." The sex argument may mean: "I don't feel desired."We end the episode with our weekly challenge:Next argument, stop and ask: "What are we really fighting about?"then: "What do you need from me right now?"We'd love to hear from you - connect with us on social media, or through the website!As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage!We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast. For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org. Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter.To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage. To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email brian@longhaulmarriage.org, or jamie@longhaulmarriage.org.Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR
- Sep 30, 202646 min
The Sex Conversation (Part 3 of 10) 10 Things that can Make or Break Your Marriage
In part 3 of our 10 part series, Brian and Jamie talk openly and candidly about sex - why so many couples who love each other very much can feel rejected, frustrated, embarrassed, or completely misunderstood - and how many couples don't know how to talk about it.They discuss:Different levels of desire, Initiation, Rejection, Affection vs. sex, Frequency, Physical touch, Resentment, Sex becoming transactional, hollywood vs. reality, how Christian upbringing can affect attitudes toward sex, and more.They give the weekly challenge - having an honest conversation with your spouse - "What makes me feel desired?" and "What makes physical intimacy difficult for me?"We hope you grow in intimacy, and desire, and if you've been ignoring your sexual relationship, that this episode will help you get back on track for some better sex in your marriage.As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage!We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast. For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org. Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter.To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage. To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email brian@longhaulmarriage.org, or jamie@longhaulmarriage.org.Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR
- Sep 14, 202626 min
Roommates, Not Lovers (Part 2 of 10) 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your Marriage
Welcome to our 10 part series - 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your MarriageIn part 2, Brian and Jamie continue talking about emotional disconnection in marriage, and why many couples begin to lose connection, feeling more like rooommates than lovers. They drill down on how couples begin to gradually focus more on logistics, especially when parenting, and less on the foundational friendship that attracted, and connected them in the first place.They discuss the how parenting, while obviously necessary, can sometimes "replace" the marriage, leaving many spouses feeling emotionally neglected, and under appreciated.They talk about the importance of intentional connection, BEFORE waiting to "feel close." With the chicken or the egg analogy, they emphasize that connection often follows intentional time together. So we need to make that happen!They end the episode with the challenge of the week - One hour with no logistics! No kids, no phones, and no TV!! Take the challenge, and as always, let us know how you did!As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage!We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast. For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org. Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter.To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage. To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email brian@longhaulmarriage.org, or jamie@longhaulmarriage.org.Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR
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About Long Haul Marriage Roadcast
Brian and Jamie Hackney, founders of Long Haul Marriage, discuss all things marriage in this raw, real, casual, and fun podcast. Married for 35 years, and having coached over 3000 couples, they share what they've learned, mostly the hard way, hoping to encourage couples, giving them tools that will strengthen their relationship, so they can be in it for the long haul!To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriageFollow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok.To donate to LHM: https://longhaulmarriage.betterworld.org
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