EP 554: When Everything Feels Hard and Nothing Feels Good with Jeni

What do you do when everything feels hard, nothing feels particularly good, and you no longer trust that the things you've always wanted are actually going to happen? In this deeply reflective coaching session, Christine works with Jeni, who has spent the last three years navigating an overwhelming season of loss and change. A relationship ended. A new relationship that made her feel truly seen also ended. The job she loved came to an end. Her beloved cat was diagnosed with cancer. Her friend group disappeared. And at the same time, hormonal changes and perimenopause made it harder to simply push through life the way she always had. But as Christine explores Jeni's story, it becomes clear that this feeling didn't begin three years ago. Underneath the recent losses is a much older belief: that who Jeni naturally is isn't quite good enough. Growing up, Jeni learned that love, approval, and connection often depended on behaving the "right" way. Over time, people-pleasing and self-judgment disconnected her from her own inner compass. When you're continually taught—directly or indirectly—that your preferences, feelings, or choices are wrong, it becomes difficult to trust yourself at all. Christine helps Jeni recognize that what feels like being stuck may actually be an invitation to reclaim herself. Rather than searching for another external solution, this season may be asking her to stop relating to herself the way she was related to as a child. And that doesn't require one enormous breakthrough. Healing can happen through tiny moments of awareness, compassion, self-acceptance, and choosing differently. Sometimes the biggest transformation begins with simply noticing the pattern instead of automatically believing it. If life has felt gray lately, if you've lost faith in what you once wanted, or if you're exhausted from trying to fix yourself, this episode offers a compassionate reminder that you don't have to figure everything out today. Press play to explore how small, consistent acts of self-trust and self-love can begin reconnecting you with the person you've always been underneath the protective patterns. Consider / Ask Yourself Does life feel harder or "grayer" than it used to? Did you grow up believing you needed to behave a certain way to receive love, approval, or acceptance? Do you struggle to trust your own desires, opinions, or decisions? Are you highly critical of yourself because you learned early that who you naturally were wasn't enough? Are you waiting for a massive breakthrough instead of acknowledging the smaller steps you're already taking? Key Insights and A-Ha's Major seasons of loss can reveal patterns and wounds that have been operating underneath the surface for years. People-pleasing can disconnect us from our own inner compass and make it difficult to know or trust what we truly want. When children don't feel fully accepted, they may conclude that something is wrong with them rather than recognizing the limitations of their caregivers. Constant self-judgment can develop from trying to figure out how to become "good enough" to receive love and validation. What feels like depression or emotional grayness can sometimes include years of repressed feelings and suppressed self-expression. Protective patterns may resist healing because familiar discomfort can feel safer than an unknown future. Healing doesn't require a dramatic breakthrough. Small moments of awareness and safety matter. Reparenting means choosing not to continue relating to yourself in the same ways you were related to as a child. Acceptance and forward movement can coexist: you can accept where you are while still committing to the next step. How to Deepen the Work Notice when you're criticizing yourself without immediately trying to stop the criticism. Begin simply with: "I'm criticizing myself right now." Once that awareness becomes easier, try adding: "I forgive myself for criticizing myself." Eventually, ask: "What else could I tell myself right now?" Write your own "parenting manual" for yourself. How do you want to respond when you're scared, triggered, disappointed, or judging yourself? When fear arises during deeper emotional work, consider whether the fear actually means "stop" or whether it's a protective part responding to something unfamiliar. Celebrate small moments when you stay present w