EP 546: How the Fear of Loss is Keeping You from Building Your Own Life with IIaria

Have you ever felt like you've done all the inner work... yet one fear refuses to leave? In this compassionate and eye-opening coaching session, Christine works with Ilaria, who has spent years in therapy, practicing breathwork, nervous system regulation, and inner child healing. Yet one fear continues to consume her: the overwhelming fear of losing her parents. As she approaches her mid-thirties and begins thinking about creating a life of her own—finding a partner, becoming more independent, and stepping into her future—the fear grows even stronger. Why? Because underneath the anxiety isn't simply a fear of loss. It's a younger part of her that believes worrying is the only way to protect the people she loves. Christine introduces Ilaria to the powerful framework of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Parts Work, helping her recognize that this fear isn't all of who she is—it's one protective part that's been trying to keep her safe since childhood. Together they explore acceptance, self-compassion, nervous system healing, and why sometimes the greatest breakthrough comes not from trying harder to fix ourselves, but from changing how we relate to the parts of us that are hurting. If you've ever felt trapped by anxiety, worried constantly about the people you love, or wondered why years of healing haven't made a particular fear disappear, this episode offers a deeply hopeful new perspective. Press play to discover how accepting your fear—rather than fighting it—may be the very thing that finally brings you peace. Consider / Ask Yourself Is there a fear you've been trying to eliminate for years without success? Do you constantly worry about losing the people you love? Have you confused your anxiety with your identity? Could one protective part of you be trying to keep you safe in the only way it knows how? Key Insights and A-Ha's Anxiety doesn't define you—it may simply be one protective part of your inner world. Healing isn't always about eliminating fear; sometimes it's about changing your relationship to it. Love and fear often become intertwined, making it difficult to experience one without the other. Parts Work (IFS) helps create compassion for protective patterns instead of fighting against them. Nothing truly heals through judgment—acceptance creates space for transformation. How to Deepen the Work <ul data-start="2586" data-en