Who Are You Trying to Be Enough For? The Psychology of Being Enough & Building Self-Worth [287]

Are you struggling with not feeling like "enough?" This is actually a common feeling that can get wrapped up or conflated with stress, burnout, depression, anxiety, and so many other mental health struggles. The good news is that no matter what you're dealing with, you do have some influence here and can work on skills to build our sense of self-worth and enoughness. We'll dig into Self-discrepancy theory, which explains how the gaps between our actual, ideal, and ought selves can stir up dejection or anxiety. We'll also explore sociometer theory and the metaphor for self-esteem as a fuel gauge that rises with appreciation and drops with rejection. The truth is, these calculations and gauges will always fluctuate. The real work isn't eliminating the gauges or the dips, but building an internal reserve, a sense of enoughness, that doesn't depend on outside refueling.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app: Spotify | Apple | YouTube   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes for Our Element of Enoughness: Related Joy Lab Episodes: Enoughness Series: Ep. 215: Are You Curious to Learn or Confirm?  Ep. 285: Why Doing Enough Is Enough + Why Perfectionism Predicts Burnout, Depression, & Anxiety, Not Performance Ep. 284: Having Enough: Why Acquiring More Will Never Fill the Hole in Your Self-Worth Ep. 283: You Are Enough: The Science and Practices of Enoughness Grief Series starts here: Ep. 248: Grief, Growth, & The Wholeness of Being Human  Ep. 239: Caring What Others Think Isn't Your Weakness Bellam, S., Curran, T., Hill, A. P., & Stoeber, J. (2025). Perfectionism and work performance: A meta-analysis. https://doi.org/10.1111/joop.12570 Carver, C. S., Lawrence, J. W., & Scheier, M. F. (1999). Self-discrepancies and affect: Incorporating the role of feared selves. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167299025007002  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. <span st