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by J.Nichole Smith
Finding joy in survival mode. This bi-weekly show is for high-capacity women who find themselves entering their IDGAF era. We explore what it looks like to find, choose and share joy when life is full, work is loud and you have lost the will (and ability) to keep pretending you have it all together. Expect inspiration, education and practical how-to’s for easily and consistently putting joy first in tiny little ways each day: adding-up to a life and career where instead of 'just getting by' you feel truly expressed, fulfilled and alive.
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Two years of Joy First, and why joy is surprisingly essential in the fightI waited to record this one at the very last minute so I could see the American election results before hitting publish and my, my for the first time in many years I am delighted and proud of my countryman. What a perfect way, and perfect day to close out our joy first decisions, and Season 4 of this show.Today is Joy First Decision #10, rebranding my business, podcast and book into Joy First in 2024, then discovering what it really means by living into it.I probably should have expected the initiation that followed the big rebrand. Declaring yourself "the joy person" in the middle of raging hormone-induced anxiety + autistic burnout is an excellent way to create massive imposter syndrome. But it reinforced for me the thing I most want you to take away from this episode today: joy is for surviving survival mode... not the reward you get after you find a way OUT of survival mode. Joy does not have to be earned. It's medicine and fuel, and it's with us in the fight.In this episodeMy manic month of good rooms: from Macklemore's Free Palestine show in Dublin to a stationery studio in MunichWhy it takes about two years to grow into your 'big why' The pendulum from rage, to bridge-building, to a joy rebellionThe joy lesson black women have been teaching us for generationsA sneak peek at the sweary planner we're making (yup, there's an F-bomb right on the cover)Highlights of Season 5, coming every week through to the end of the yearLinks and resourcesCreative Freedom Rebellion (six spaces open now): https://joyfirstbrand.com/rebelFree upcoming co-working and workshops: email us: hello@joyfirstworld.comGrab the Nov. issue of Psychologies magazine, see "Igniting Your Inner Light" by Greta Solomon p.61 for my big feature!The Wooden Spoon, Ballina, Ireland: https://share.google/T5U61U0uKd2xCqPmBVibes and Visibility with Elizabeth Carly Leonard: https://www.vibesandvisibility.com/If this gave you a little hope, follow the show so Season 5 lands in your feed next week, and leave a review if you can. It helps more wildflowers find us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Nine days after my first daughter was born, my business partner texted to say she was leaving the business.I came back from maternity leave with 90 days to sell, plan and deliver our first big conference in London, all on my own, while looking afer my three-month-old baby.At this conference, one of our keynotes was Denise Duffield-Thomas, who I stayed in-touch with and in the months that followed she invited me into the Collective, Natalie MacNeil's invite-only mastermind for women running multiple six and seven figure businesses... which leads us to Joy First Decision #9: saying yes to a high-end room that gave me MASSIVE imposter syndrome.Over five years my investment in that room took me to Necker Island (twice), Denise's rose farm in Australia, the Ecuadorian Amazon, the Greek Islands and more. The travel was extraordinary but (as cringy as it sounds) what changed me most was finally finding, in my thirties, the magic of real sisterhood.In this episode: • Why investing in a high-end room while in debt felt irresponsible, why I did it anyway (and how I made way more money back than what I invested)• What a balcony on Necker taught me about abundance and enoughness • The swim in Boorangoora (waters of wisdom) where the Joy First book started pouring out • The friend who flew across America to check me out of the hospital • How to pick the right room, plus the free weekly mastermind format I still use Mentioned: • Natalie MacNeil's AI Dream Team: https://jnicholesmith--nataliemacneil.thrivecart.com/ai-dream-team-1497/• Get Rich, Lucky Bitch! by Denise Duffield-Thomas: https://www.denisedt.com/get-rich-lucky-bitch-book• Joy First Decision #1 (Olivia the Great Dane): https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/i-was-supposed-to-be-a-vet-i-became-a-pet-photographer-instead/id1775218019?i=1000776010278• My Big Fat £40,000 Joy First Mistake: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/my-big-fat-%C2%A340-000-joy-first-mistake/id1775218019?i=1000780124387• Decision #8, my anti-racism work with Dr. Lynne Maureen Hurdle: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/we-were-raised-to-be-nice-thats-a-trap/id1775218019?i=1000792384986Join us on Substack to read and see more: https://joyfirstworld.substack.com/If this one stayed with you, a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify helps more women find the show. Next week: Decision #10 and the season finale. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Five years in a room about race, the family myth I went digging into, and why comfort isn't the same as joy.There's a phrase I use about colour all the time: once you see it, you can't un-see it. And while this is super true, and reflected back to us daily by our students and clients - actually the most world-shifting version of that in my life wasn't about colour psychology, it was about the colour of my skin. Today's episode, Joy First decision #8 - is about the decision I made to commit to a lifetime of understanding and doing my part to stand up against racism and systems of oppression.... and to understanding my place in them as a white woman. This commitment came in 2020, after the murder of George Floyd, when a friend invited me into Dr. Lynne Maureen Hurdle's programme, On the Matter of Race. I stayed in that room, every other week (with some seasonal breaks), for over five years. And it fundamentally shifted how I see the world now.In this episode I share about the white bubble I grew up in, and never questioned, about the "good white person checklist" I walked into 'the work' looking ofr, the the family myth about Cherokee ancestry I went digging into (and the far more complicated truth I found), and why when it comes to people being oppressed and marginalized, there is no neutral. This work may feel heavy, but it isn't the opposite of joy. In fact, it's one of the deepest sources of joy I've found in my life - as it's broken me open, and clarified my own mission and purpose in ways that make it matter1000x more. I'm not an expert or a teacher, I will always be a student... but if you're curious please join me in this exploration. In this episode: • Why niceness and politeness can keep us complicit, and the difference between niceness and kindness • "Am I unsafe, or just uncomfortable?" (the question that changes everything) • Holding complexity: how we can be both harmed and part of the harm • Why facing this work unlocks joy rather than draining it Resources mentioned: • On the Matter of Race with Dr. Lynne Maureen Hurdle: https://theconflictcloser.com/matter-of-race• Nice White Ladies by Jessie Daniels: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57007984-nice-white-ladies • Xander Golden's Thread: https://www.threads.com/share/BAYmpoeP1k/• The "Dealing With Whiteness" series on my previous podcast, Joy, Colour, Impact & Dogs:on iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/joy-colour-impact-dogs/id1697112722on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5EsgLUsJrJWebrNrxNPHG1If this episode stirred something in you, share it with someone you'd like to invite into the work. See you next time for Joy First Decision #9. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Kids, roots, and the joy first choices that don't seem to add up on paper.I'm recording this one from my bed, surrounded by the dog, the laundry and my daughter's panda, because (as usual) I'm navigating chaos: the floors are being replaced and there's nowhere quiet left in the house. Which, as usual, seems exactly right for exploring Joy First Decision #7: the decision to stop chasing freedom, put down roots... and have kids.In the last episode I was gleefully drifting around Europe, taking selfies with my Frenchie in front of the Eiffel Tower and in Venice. This is the episode where I start making the opposite sort of choices: ones with roots, responsibilities and very sore nipples.I'm getting into all of it: why being a kid mom (or a dog mom) never seems to add up on paper, and how the joy stacks up anyway. What it was like to be one of the only women in my world who chose kids (when my friends and peers mostly chose pets instead). The horror and the richness held together, including the birth trauma we're not supposed to mention and the fear I carried my whole life: that motherhood would become my entire personality.In this episode:• Why the "should I have kids" maths never adds up (and why that doesn't matter)• How I guarded against motherhood swallowing me, and how it changed me anyway• The surprising way motherhood deepened the way basic human decency has radicalized me• The club I got an instant free pass to that I wasn't expecting• The one thing that makes it all possible for me to cling to my sanity while navigating through survival modeIf this resonates, follow the show and leave a review (thank you so much 🙏). See you next time for Joy First Decision number eight. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I lost my dog. I rented out the house. I tackled a mountain of adulting to finally live the freedom I'd built. And it all started with one small tweak to my calendar.I will never forget standing in a tiny grocery store in Lake Como, Italy... holding a lemon almost as big as my hand with the leaves still on, and realizing this wasn't a holiday. It was my actual life.I would I have posted those lemons on instagram, but what you wouldn't fave seen there, is what it actually took to finally be standing there.I'd built a business I could run from anywhere (a six-figure online membership and consulting business, run entirely over Zoom). I had been running it from my tiny terrace house in London. I could be anywhere, but instead I sat at my kitchen table, day after day... sometimes splashing out to the coffee shop down the road. What was the point of having autonomy if I was too scared to use it? In this episode (Joy First Decision #6) I tell the whole story of how my husband and I came to live in Lake Como, Italy, Morzine, France, and Mallorca, Spain after losing my heart dog Olivia, becoming reluctant landlords; moving into a spare room in someone else's house, and then actually hitting the road for the digital nomad life. All while running the business, working with clients, writing a book, and getting paid to speak on stages.In this episode:• Why you can build total freedom and still never use it• That the biggest joy so often sits on the far side of the discomfort you're avoiding• How the whole thing started with one small choice: a single change to my calendarIf this resonated, follow the show and leave a review. I will see you next time for Joy First Decision #7. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This joy first decision is jumping the queue in the top ten because it’s happening right now, and it’s massive.As you may know, in this season I’ve been sharing the top ten joy first decisions of my life in a nice orderly chronological countdown, and then yesterday happened and had to through out the plan and have this conversation instead. So, totally out of order, this is joy first decision #5, arriving early and slightly out of breath, with my friend Nicole Begley.Not that many weeks ago I asked Nicole for ten minutes to hear me out on idea sort of related to our annual launch of the Commercial Pet Photography Academy - and I asked her to listen and not say no before she let me finish.We have both spent nearly two years streamlining our businesses, cutting and refining programmes, and getting really good at saying no.Well, long story short, it’s about 8 weeks later and here we are. Yesterday we launched a new brand, a new program, have merged significant revenue streams from our separate businesses into a shared one, and retired a launch we had a great time running for five or so years. This thing we’ve created is called the Creative Freedom Rebellion.Today we’re exploring how you tell the difference between being flaky and moving into more alignment (something I refused to let myself do 2 yrs ago which made big, big problems for my biz). We also share the 4 things we’ve found our most successful clients have in common (even though their versions of freedom, joy and financial success were all quite different). And we talk about why neither of us wanted to build another room built on polite niceness where the house rule is that ‘we don't talk about that here’.There is also a clip from the call we ran yesterday, including a really moving moment from one of our clients that I have not stopped thinking about. Watch the full replay from yesterday: https://www.nicolebegleyedu.com/rebellionApply for the Creative Freedom Rebellion: https://www.nicolebegleyedu.com/rebelNicole's podcast: https://www.freedomfocusformula.com/blogIf this one lands, we would love to hear from you. xx -Nic & Nicole Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
When the dream I had fought for became the dread I couldn't escape... and decision I dreaded unlocked the joy I'd been looking for all along.I finally opened the shop I'd wanted for a decade: A photography studio and pet boutique two minutes from my front door, in beautiful Southwest London. I signed a ten-year lease and invested £40,000 pounds in the business (most of which was spent on renovating the derelict space), and I named it 'Little & Large' after my Great Dane and French bulldog. It truly was a dream come true.But not even two years in, I was clear that this investment, this beautiful dream was actually a big mistake.In this episode (Joy First Decisions #3 and #4) I tell the whole story: the VAT I never understood, the freedom I lost, the guilt of realizing I'd built my own cage, and the decision I dreaded most which turned out to be the joy first decision in disguise. It's the one that led to Whyfinding®, to the work I actually love, to the next business which grew to six figures in eight months.If you've ever hung onto something too long because quitting felt like failure, this one's for you.In this episode:• How to tell whether a decision is rooted in joy or fear • Why joy doesn't always look shiny (and often asks for discomfort first)• What closing the shop made possible that I never could never have foreseenGo deeper on Substack: joyfirstworld.substack.comIf this resonated, follow the show and leave a review - thank you! See you next time for Joy First Decision #5 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
At 28 I had two businesses, an engagement ring, and a box of save the dates I could not bring myself to send.My fiancé was a genuinely nice guy. We had a solid 8/10 life: there was no, drama, no red flags, and we were comfortable... which I guess is what made it so hard to explain why I was leaving.Welcome to #2 number in our series on the Top 10 joy first decisions I've made. It's the story of why I called-off an engagement, packed-up and moved from Seattle to a L.A. and wrote a very important list of 200 things. It's also the story of what happened five months later at a wedding in a Bavarian-themed town... where a handsome guy handed me his business card.In this episode:- The question I kept asking myself (and why the answer sits inside the question)- What I discovered about my relationship that made me end it- The list of 200, and the worthiness work that it kicked-off- The hives, the joint pain, and the parts of this decision that were truly brutal- What made me deciding I was willing to be alone forever- How I met the man of my dreams (complete with sexy British accent)Go deeper on Substack: joyfirstworld.substack.comxx -Nic Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Finding joy in survival mode. This bi-weekly show is for high-capacity women who find themselves entering their IDGAF era. We explore what it looks like to find, choose and share joy when life is full, work is loud and you have lost the will (and ability) to keep pretending you have it all together. Expect inspiration, education and practical how-to’s for easily and consistently putting joy first in tiny little ways each day: adding-up to a life and career where instead of 'just getting by' you feel truly expressed, fulfilled and alive.
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