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In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Alexa Andre - Sexologist and Relationship Expert
The no-bullshit sex and relationship podcast where sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) says everything you're too afraid to. Stop having mediocre sex and level up your game! 🎧 New episodes every week.
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- 4 days ago51 min
You’re Not as “Freaky” as You Think: Kinks, Fetishes & Fantasies (ft. Niki Davis)
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, event planner and author Niki Davis for a conversation about sexual shame, uncommon desires, kinks, fetishes, fantasies, self-pleasure, relationships and the psychology of arousal.Why do so many people feel ashamed of what turns them on? Niki Davis shares what she has learned from working with people with uncommon desires and explains the difference between shame and guilt, how shame can create a spiral of negative thoughts, and why people can feel like they have a “fetish self” and a separate identity.Topics discussed:• Sexual shame and how to recognize it• Shame vs. guilt• Uncommon sexual desires• Kinks vs. fetishes• Sexual fantasies• How the brain influences arousal• Whether desires can change or evolve• Exposure and developing new desires• Partner acceptance and exploring a partner’s kink• Balloon fetishes (poppers vs non-poppers)• Wet floor sign fetishes• Foot fetish• Carpet fetishism and Giorgio Carpet• Vore and being swallowed fantasies• Fantasy vs. real-life sexual experiences• Threesomes as fantasy vs. reality• Scat play• Disgust and arousal• Finding community around uncommon desires• Shame spirals and negative thought loops• Identifying sexual and emotional triggers• Keeping a thought log• Exploring kinks independently• Using imagination as part of erotic experiencesFollow Niki:Instagram: @missbloomsexeducatorWebsite: www.nikidavisf.comFollow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexaPatreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexaBook a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online
- 1 weeks ago55 min
The Bedroom Gap: Painful Sex, Low Desire & Vaginal Health (ft. Dr. Sophocles)
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with gynecologist, sexual medicine expert, and author Dr. Maria Sophocles to talk openly about painful sex, vaginal health, sexual pleasure, menopause, low desire, and everything in between.Topics discussed:Why does sex hurt? How common is painful sex, and when should you see a doctor? Dr. Maria Sophocles breaks down the most common causes of sexual pain, including vaginal dryness and inadequate lubrication, lack of arousal, vaginismus and a hypertonic pelvic floor, dermatologic conditions such as lichen sclerosus, STIs including herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea, and internal causes such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts, fibroids and scarring.Alexa and Dr. Sophocles also get into why lubrication isn't the same thing as arousal, the importance of taking time before penetration, sexual scripting, communication with your partner, the orgasm gap, faking orgasms, low libido and desire differences, and why treating pain can sometimes bring sexual desire back.They discuss estrogen, genitourinary syndrome of menopause, perimenopause, postpartum and breastfeeding-related changes, surgical menopause, chemotherapy, vaginal estrogen, systemic estrogen, birth control and its potential effects on dryness and libido, as well as pelvic floor physical therapy, Kegels and pelvic floor relaxation.The conversation also covers PMS and period symptoms, breast tenderness, mood changes, back pain, exercise, sleep, meditation, mindfulness, magnesium, ibuprofen, vitamin E and evening primrose oil.Pap smears, trauma during gynecological exams, pediatric speculums, lubricant during Pap testing, and the future of at-home HPV/Pap sample collection. They also play fact vs.fiction on cotton underwear, synthetic underwear, thongs, tight leggings, sweating after workouts, panty liners, vaginal discharge, vulva washing, soap, feminine washes, vaginal pH, normal genital odor, BV, boric acid, antibiotics, the vaginal microbiome, diet, fermented foods, probiotics/microbiome testing, vulvar irritation, pubic hair and friction.Follow Dr. Sophocles:Instagram: @mariasophoclesmdWebsite: www.mariasophoclesmd.comFollow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexaPatreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexaSponsor:Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2638-alexa
- 2 weeks ago1h 1m
Having Sex or Performing It: Pleasure, Body Image & Sex Trends (ft. Jill Lissner)
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator Jill Lissner, aka @sexedprincesss, forconversation about performative sex, pleasure, body image, consent, communication, and the weird sex trends taking over the internet.Topics covered:Performative sex and what it meansPleasure vs. performanceAuthentic/non-performative sexGendered expectations around appearancePenis size, erections and staminaMoaning and performing soundsStaying quiet because of shame or expectationsSoft penises and body acceptanceDecentering penetrationMutual masturbation and vulnerabilityPorn as a performanceBeing perceived and worrying how you lookLikeability, acceptance and social performanceReducing performance anxiety through exposure“Spectatoring” during sexAdvocating for your needs during sexDefaulting to giving as a performancePreference vs. performanceOrgasm faces“Cracked” and modern sexual terminologyActive participation in sexRiding/on-top positions and performing for appearanceRecording sexual experiencesPenetration as a performance expectationCritical thinking about sexual normsInternet sex trendsBall maxing/scrotum maxingScrotum size and attractionHow sexual trends spread onlineThe need for more scientific research on emerging sex trendsFollow Jill:Instagram: @sexedprincesssFollow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexaPatreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
- 3 weeks ago1h 2m
Rough Sex, Kink, Fantasies & What Women Really Want (ft. Small Hands)
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Small Hands (Aaron Thompson) to talk about what really creates sexual attraction, the difference between confidence and competence, rough sex, kink, consent, boundaries, and the fantasies people don't always know how to talk about.In this episode:Non-sexual turn-ons and how they become sexual turn-onsHands, feet, scent and other physical turn-onsActs of service, chores, cleaning and thoughtfulness as turn onsAppreciation, validation and keeping long-term relationships connectedBoundary talks before professional collaborationsReading someone's comfort level and adjusting in the momentSexual toys, magic wands, lube and taking initiativeConfidence vs. competenceWhy competence may be more attractive than confidenceHumility, ego and letting actions speak for themselvesSexual performance anxiety and the pressure to “deliver”Small Hands' first gangbang and early experiences in pornCNC (consensual non-consent) fantasiesDark fantasies and the importance of genuine desire and safetyKink, trauma and how life experiences can shape sexual interestsReclaiming autonomy through fantasyThe unexpected origins of a foot fetishWhat “rough sex” actually meansPhysical, verbal and psychological elements of rough sexWhy rough sex requires context, intent and communicationRough sex vs. disrespectConsent, boundaries and negotiating BDSM/kinkChoking and assuming a partner wants itHot ways of checking in during sex Why porn should never be treated as a guide for real-life behaviorTrust and safety as foundations for exploring darker fantasiesSmall Hands' private fantasy of slow, romantic, sensual sexFollow Aaron:Instagram: @thesmallhands_Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexaPatreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexaSponsor:Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2633-alexa
- Aug 13, 202645 min
I Asked a Butt Surgeon Every Question You're Too Embarrassed to Ask - Pt. 2 (ft. Dr. Evan Goldstein)
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in back bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They discuss anal health, pleasure, preparation, and all the questions people are often too embarrassed to ask.Topics discussed in this episode:Anal pleasure and breaking down taboos and mythsExploring anal stimulation for the first timeThe P-spot/prostate and prostate orgasmsThe A-spot and anal pleasure for womenTopping vs. bottomingWhy tops should understand anal anatomyAnal foreplay and gradual penetrationThe three sphincter musclesBreathing, relaxation and communicationPain, bleeding and discomfort during anal sexLube and why anal sex differs from vaginal sexPenis size, thickness and anatomyMushroom-shaped penises and preparationBad first anal experiencesSelf-exploration and masturbationPressure vs. in-and-out stimulationRiding and controlling penetrationDilators and gradual anal trainingAnatomy vs. psychological/neurological factorsBleeding, tightness and when to seek medical carePoop during anal sexShame and anxiety around cleanlinessDouching and over-douchingGut health, fiber and dietPrebiotics and probioticsFood and how diet can affect anal sexCondoms and anal sexPrEP and DoxyPEPThe “toy test” after douchingHemorrhoids and what they actually areFissures and skin tagsPegging and strap-on playProstate massage and prostate milkingEdging and gooningAnal Botox and pelvic floor physical therapyButt facialsButt acne, ingrown hairs and hair removalWet wipes and anal irritationBidets and portable bidetsToilet paper vs. water-based cleaningEvan's work with Bespoke Surgical and Future MethodFollow Dr. G:Instagram: @drevangoldstein | @bespokesurgical | @thefuturemethodWebsite and more: Bespoke SurgicalFollow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexaPatreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexaSponsor:Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2633-alexa
- Aug 6, 202639 min
I Asked a Butt Surgeon Every Question You're Too Embarrassed to Ask (ft. Dr. Evan Goldstein)
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They do a deep dive into anal sex, butt health, and everything you've always wanted to ask about your asshole.Topics DiscussedDr. Evan Goldstein's journey from heart surgery to anal surgeryComing out and discovering anal health as a medical specialtyCosmetic vs. functional anal proceduresHemorrhoids, fissures, skin tags, and anal anatomyPost-pregnancy anal changesGrooming injuries and anal skin concernsConfidence and body image around the anusAnal bleaching and whether it's worth itPerineum "sunning"What makes a "healthy" vs. "perfect" assholeThe truth about anal douchingProtecting the anal microbiomeWhy over-douching can increase STI and HIV riskFuture Method and isotonic douchingSafe products to use in the anusCan anal sex make you loose?Incontinence mythsMale vs. female pelvic anatomyAnal BotoxWhen surgery is necessaryDilators for beginnersFingering mistakes that cause injuriesProper lubricationRelaxation techniques for anal penetrationUnderstanding the three anal sphinctersThe three "types" of assholesBuilding up to anal safelyHow often bottoms should practiceFiber, probiotics, hydration, and digestive healthWhether everyone needs to douchePreparing for occasional anal sexThe prostate (P-spot)The A-spotProstate orgasmsCommon myths surrounding anal sexHow to reduce injury while maximizing pleasureFollow Dr. G:Instagram: @drevangoldstein | @bespokesurgical | @thefuturemethodWebsite and more: Bespoke SurgicalFollow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexaPatreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
- Jul 30, 20261h 4m
How Written Erotica Can Completely Change Your Sex Life (ft. Carly Pifer)
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Carly, founder of Read Aurore, to talk about why written erotica is becoming one of the most powerful tools for pleasure, communication and self-discovery. Together they explore how true erotic stories differ from fantasy, why women are increasingly choosing erotica over visual porn, the psychology behind imagination and desire, how writing about sex can help process emotions and improve communication, and how reading erotica can inspire better sex and stronger relationships.Topics discussed:Carly's path to creating Aurora EroticaInterviewing strangers about sexDating in Europe vs New YorkVacation confidence and sexual freedomWhy true stories are hotter than fantasyTurning real experiences into eroticaWriting as emotional processingFirst-time sex that is actually goodWhy men should read eroticaWomen's real sexual desiresAffairs and taboo fantasiesOpen relationships vs secret affairHow Aurore selects submissionsWriting as therapyRewriting difficult experiencesSmut vs eroticaRomance vs eroticaThe decline in Gen Z sexual activityBenefits of reading eroticaBenefits of writing eroticaReliving pleasurable experiencesReading erotica together as foreplayFollow Carly:Instagram: @readauroreWebsite: readaurore.comFollow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexaPatreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexaSponsor:Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2629-alexa
- Jul 23, 20261h 3m
How to Know When It's Time to Leave a Relationship (or Fight for It) (ft. Gaby Balsells)
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with clinical psychologist and relationship coach Gaby Balsells to unpack one of the hardest questions in love: how do you know whether to stay in a relationship or walk away?Together they explore: how to tell the difference between a temporary rough patch and true incompatibilitythe danger of ignoring red flags during the honeymoon phaseemotional vs. sexual compatibilitysettling vs. honoring your needstrusting your desireshealthy communicationovercoming defensivenessbecoming "us vs. the problem”emotional laborthe initiator/receiver dynamicwhy actions matter more than wordsconsistency over empty promisesrepairing conflict, couples therapy,sexual compatibility, mismatched libidos & feeling desiredknowing when you've waited long enoughguilt around leavingselective effort & weaponized incompetenceand why love alone isn't always enoughFollow Gaby:Instagram: @gabybalsellsFollow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexaPatreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
About In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex
The no-bullshit sex and relationship podcast where sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) says everything you're too afraid to. Stop having mediocre sex and level up your game! 🎧 New episodes every week.
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