How Not To Suck At Divorce

Divorce Cyberstalking: How to Prevent it and What to do If You Think Your Ex is Watching You Online

July 10, 2026·38 min
Episode Description from the Publisher

Divorce Cyberstalking: What to Do If You Think Your Ex Is Watching You OnlineDivorce Crash Course: Don’t make expensive divorce mistakes.Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest legal, financial, emotional, and co-parenting mistakes people make during divorce — and how to avoid them.Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.Start the course here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseCyberstalking during divorce can make you feel unsafe, paranoid, unsteady, and completely overwhelmed.But here’s the thing: sometimes what feels “crazy” is actually a real digital safety issue.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill are joined by Steven Bradley, a former FBI task force leader, cybersecurity expert, domestic violence specialist, and cyberstalking educator, to talk about what to do if you think your ex is watching, tracking, monitoring, or digitally harassing you during divorce.And yes — this episode is scary.But more importantly, it is actionable.Steven explains that cyberstalking is often easier than people realize because many exes already know your passwords, security question answers, shared devices, family routines, Wi-Fi setup, smart home devices, and personal information. Cyberstalking is not always some dramatic hacker-in-a-hoodie situation. Sometimes it is access to your Amazon Alexa, Ring doorbell, Nest thermostat, pet camera, cloud account, location sharing, shared passwords, or old devices.In other words: your ex may not need to “hack” you if they already have access.Terrifying? Yes. Useful to know? Also yes.In this episode, we cover:How cyberstalking can show up during divorceWhy many people dismiss early warning signs as “coincidences”How smart home devices can be used to monitor or harass someoneWhy shared passwords and security questions are a major riskWhat to do if you think your ex has access to your phone, email, cloud, or devicesWhy you should not delete suspicious messages or evidenceHow to create a timeline of cyberstalking concernsWhen to tell your divorce attorneyWhy co-parenting apps can help protect communicationHow VPNs, multi-factor authentication, and anti-malware tools can helpWhy public Wi-Fi can be riskyWhat parents should know about children’s apps, gaming, and DiscordWhy taking action can lower paranoia and help you feel saferFirst signs of cyberstalking during divorceCyberstalking can start small.You may notice:strange text messagesanonymous calls or emailsyour ex showing up where you aresmart home devices acting strangelylights, thermostats, or cameras changing unexpectedlyunfamiliar apps on your phonelogin alertsodd account activitysomeone seeming to know things they should not knowSteven explains that many offenders start with small behaviors and escalate when they feel they can get away with it. That is why it is important not to dismiss everything as coincidence, especially during a high-conflict divorce or custody battle.What to do if you think you are being cyberstalkedSteven’s first action step is simple:Do not delete anything.Preserve texts, emails, screenshots, suspicious messages, device alerts, app changes, login warnings, and anything that feels off. Create a timeline. Write down what happened, when it happened, where you were, and what evidence you have.Digital evidence can be time-sensitive, and some data may disappear or overwrite itself. The sooner you document, the better.Tell your divorce attorney earlyIf you believe you may be dealing with cyberstalking, do not wait until it becomes unbearable.Tell your attorney.Morgan explains that divorce lawyers may need outside experts to help connect the dots, preserve evidence, and explain what is happening in a way the court can understand. Cyberstalking can be technical, and many attorneys and judges are not cybersecurity experts.This is not about panicking.It is about protecting yourself, documenting what is happening, and getting the right people involved early.Secure your digital lifeSteven recommends assuming your passwords may be compromised and taking steps to secure your digital life.<

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