Episode 17: Traver Boehm: Pot, Porn, or PBR: What Men Use to Bury Pain—and How to Heal Instead

What happens when "be strong" turns into "be silent"? In this episode of Heads & Tails, we sit down with Traver Boehm, founder of the UNcivilized Men's Movement, to unpack the cultural myth that men must always be tough, unbothered, and emotionally bulletproof—and how that training can quietly sabotage intimacy, conflict repair, and long-term connection. Traver and Jay get real about what often replaces emotional vocabulary: shutdown, defensiveness, or burying pain with what Jay calls "Pot, Porn, or Pabst Blue Ribbon." Traver shares practical tools that help men build the capacity to stay present—like meditation, nervous-system regulation, and (crucially) community—so the relationship isn't the only place their unprocessed pain leaks out. If you love a good man but feel like you're talking to a wall during conflict, this episode is for you—and for the men you care about.   💡 Name: Traver Boehm 💡Company: Man UnCivilized 💡Noteworthy: founder of the UNcivilized Men's Movement and has built programs and communities focused on helping men develop emotional strength, accountability, and connection.  💡 Where to find them:  Man UnCivilized Podcast https://www.manuncivilized.com/meet-traver-boehm  Find an in person men's group:  https://www.manuncivilized.com/mensgroup The Book: 28 Days In Darkness (https://www.manuncivilized.com/books#section-1751992894384) for men ready to reclaim authentic masculinity (and for the people who love them) To my fellow clinicians: listen to the You Are Not Broken podcast on ⁠⁠⁠Pinnacle's network to earn FREE CME credit⁠⁠⁠. https://learnatpinnacle.com/education