Bill Barrett: Transformational, Not Transactional

"Trying to be transformational in all of your relationships instead of transactional is probably one of the biggest, if not the biggest, takeaway." — Bill BarrettIn this episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times, Chris Schembra sits down with Bill Barrett, CEO of Mandelbaum Barrett, a full-service law firm headquartered in New Jersey with over 150 attorneys practicing in 30 practice areas. Bill hosts the Fingerprints on Success podcast. His new book, Authentic, came out in May. It's a tribute to his father, Dave, built on the business principles Dave taught him: integrity, presence, resilience, and relationships that outlast transactions.Asked the 7:47 gratitude question, Bill thanks his dad, whose "fingerprints are kinda all over the person that I've become." From there the conversation turns to Bill's core message. Relationships should be transformational, not transactional. And because fewer people work that way today, the ones who do stand out.Bill shares the stories behind that belief. A fellow managing partner snubbed him at a conference, and the moment showed him the scarcity he never wants to live in. He met a young lawyer for lunch, gave advice freely, and a month later that relationship brought a fabulous engagement, with referrals flowing in both directions ever since. Then there's the single largest piece of business of his career. After settling a contentious non-compete dispute, Bill invited opposing counsel, Seth, to a Friday lunch to celebrate the good work they'd done for their clients. The next Monday, Seth and his managing partner called with a referral that became over a million dollars a year of legal work for seven consecutive years.Chris connects the stories to Seneca's "bookkeeping of benefits," to Adam Grant's Give and Take, and to a friend who donated to his clients' favorite charities and then shredded the receipts. Bill describes how his friend Mark Murphy leads with people's dangers, opportunities, and strengths. They also talk about why Bill hires "unicorns" with old-school values, the Zig Ziglar tapes his dad played on the commute from New Jersey to New York City, and Chris's first-ever rapid-fire questions from his upcoming book, Earn Connection.Themes & HighlightsThanking his father, Dave: the relationship that shaped Bill's life and his book AuthenticTransformational vs. transactional relationships, and why being transformational now makes you stand outWhy "work-life balance" never made sense to Bill: it's all "one big life"Abundance over scarcity: viewing competitors as colleagues, collaborators, and referral sourcesThe adversary lunch that led to over a million dollars a year of legal work for seven straight yearsSeneca's "bookkeeping of benefits" and giving without keeping scoreNew ways to give: introductions, a good question, holding space, and the four kinds of personal capital (intellectual, emotional, network, financial)Dangers, opportunities, strengths: how Mark Murphy helps people before they even know what he doesZig Ziglar cassette tapes, "hit them where they ain't," and why old-school values are the new white spaceHiring for character: Division I athletes, unicorns, and "I can teach that person anything"Rapid fire: where to slow down or wake up, where to look around, and what to accept (or not)Unity after 9/11, the 2004 Red Sox, and what Bill would say to his dad todayChapters00:00 Hook: The adversary lunch00:25 Intro01:05 Welcome & meet Bill Barrett04:42 The 7:47 gratitude question06:12 Gratitude for his father, Dave08:23 Transformational, not transactional12:22 What stands in the way: time and "one big life"14:32 Scarcity vs. abundance: competitors as colleagues16:38 The snub at the conference19:53 Lunch with a young lawyer21:30 The adversary lunch: his largest piece of business24:04 Seneca, Adam Grant & the bookkeeping of benefits26:11 Don't keep score27:38 The personal capital index: new ways to give29:36 Dangers, opportunities, strengths: Mark Murphy35:41 Zig Ziglar tapes & old-school wisdom37:01 Hit them where they ain't38:16 Unicorns, Division I athletes & hiring for values41:13 Rapid fire: slow down or wake up?43:05 Where do you need to look around?44:45 What must you accept? Finding common ground48:19 The 2004 Red Sox49:21 What would you say to your dad?50:24 Closing thoughts