Dissociatives Nervewing has known and (Ab)used

Nervewing may be the closest thing the field of psychonautics has seen to a Shulgin of dissociatives. Having cataloged an extensive repertoire of 253 unique substances ingested in their lifetime, including many substances that they were the first to synthesize and experience. Nervewing also has the honor of being the person with the most Erowid reports submitted.But unlike Shulgin, there was a darkness that crept in. Nervewing describes what it’s like to be so in the grips of dissociative addiction that doing PCP to clean the dishes was an ordinary part of their daily life.The circumstances of this story are singular. How many people synthesize novel dissociatives and get a chance to test their creations? Few people have a drive to catalog so innate to their psychological makeup that they have the drive to explore even the most unpleasant of pharmacological states and find themselves drawn into cataloging even the edges of the insect kingdom (Nervewing is also a skilled entomologist).Yet, at the same time, their story is an everyday story of addiction. The slow slip-ups, the compulsive behavior, the formation of a sense of identity around use. The slow boiling. One day you are just a person who uses a drug, and before you know it— the drugs are using you. Replacing life with use.The suffering and doldrums of recovery often get glossed over– Nervewing tells us about it. After all, how can a normal life feel good, when you are used to getting “dissed” every night?This was a story that was beautiful to capture. It was my favorite story I have captured on Furthure. I hope to someday capture more stories with this depth and nuance in the future.Trigger warning: This episode is not for people to listen to who might be upset about the discussion of self-harm, suicidality, and substance use. It is a deeply vulnerable and human story.