Will Divorce Ruin My Kids? How to Rewrite the Stories You Tell Yourself with Divorce Coach Lyerly Spongberg

"I'm not strong enough to be a single mom." That was the story Olivia Howell told herself when her marriage was ending, and it felt like a fact. Most people going through divorce carry a version of it: I can't handle the finances. I'm going to ruin my kids. I'm less of a parent if I only see them half the time. In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia asks what happens when we stop treating those thoughts as the truth and start treating them as what they are: stories.Her guest is Fresh Starts Expert Lyerly Spongberg, a certified ADR divorce coach, pre-mediation coach, and co-parenting specialist who has seen divorce from every side. Lyerly went through her own high-conflict divorce in her 30s and has since been remarried for nearly 20 years, with a blended family of six children. She remembers believing she was not strong enough to get through it, and believing that every battle and every angry message needed her full attention. What changed things was a pause, and a smaller question: "okay, what can I handle today?" Strength, she learned, was not fighting everything. It was knowing when to fight and when to drop the rope.From there, Lyerly shares the practical framework she uses with clients to challenge limiting beliefs during divorce. Listen for the absolute words (never, always, can't). Notice when you are mind reading or predicting the worst. Then ask: what do I actually know is true, what am I guessing, and whose voice is this? Her favorite test is a simple one: "is it a roadblock or is it a doorway?" As she says, this is not about forced positivity. "It's strategy." Listeners will come away with a new way to think about co-parenting and shared custody (you are still 100% of a parent), a reminder to put their energy into what they can control, and one line worth keeping close: this is a really difficult chapter, and it doesn't define the whole book.Learn more about Lyerly Spongberg: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/step-up-with-lyerly🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/