Divorce Happens

Hey Olivia, My Ex Wants to Tell the Kids the Divorce Is My Fault. How Do I Stop Him?

June 10, 2026·7 min
Episode Description from the Publisher

How do you tell your kids you're getting divorced when your co-parent wants to blame you for it? In this solo "Hey Olivia" episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell answers a letter from a mom whose ex plans to tell their five- and seven-year-old that Mommy broke up the family — and who yells every time she tries to talk about doing it differently. If you're terrified of how the other parent might frame your divorce in front of the kids, this one is for you.Olivia explains why telling young children that one parent "broke up the family" is genuinely harmful, then walks through a calm, doable plan for telling kids about divorce in a high-conflict co-parenting situation: how to ask for a neutral third party in the room, the non-accusatory request to put in writing first, the simple and united words to say to your kids, and what to do if your co-parent says something hurtful anyway. The heart of it: you may not be able to control what your ex says, but you are never powerless — and being the steady, safe parent is more powerful than winning any single moment.IN THIS EPISODE:Why "breaking up the family" language harms kids — the developmental reason it sticksThe simple, united story children actually need when parents divorceHow to ask for a family therapist, co-parenting counselor, or mediator to be presentThe short, non-accusatory message to send in writing before the conversation (and why a record matters)Exactly what to say to your kids — clear, age-appropriate language you can use todayHow to respond in the moment if your co-parent assigns blame, without escalating in front of the kidsWhen to bring in a co-parenting therapist, divorce child specialist, or divorce coachABOUT DIVORCE HAPPENS:Divorce Happens is a podcast supporting people before, during, and after divorce, hosted by Olivia Howell. The show runs on one belief: divorce is not a failure, and it carries no shame. Through honest guest conversations and solo "Hey Olivia" episodes answering listener questions, Olivia offers real tools, real comfort, and the reminder that you're so much further along than you think.LISTEN & FOLLOW:If this episode helped you, follow Divorce Happens on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, leave a rating or review, and share it with a parent who needs it before they sit their kids down. You are seen, and you are doing an incredible job. 💙🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

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