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- 5 days ago55 min
#45 Sacred intimates, sex surrogates & trauma healing with Andre Lazarus
#CRUDE 45Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Andre Lazarus to talk about his work as a sex and relationship coach as well as his important work in trauma healing with men and women. Andre has also appeared as a sex surrogate on the hit British TV show Virgin Island, but it's his experience in trauma healing and intimacy coaching that he explores with the Crudies.How does Andre's experience as a survivor of abuse and PTSD in the military inform his therapy and coaching?What kind of problems lead some men to sek out intimacy coaching?What about asexuality?What is sexual healing and what causes people to seek it out?Can trauma be physically locked in our bodies?*Andre Lazarus*Andre Lazarus is a Somatic Intimacy Guide and media-recognized voice on relationships, sexuality, and embodied connection. His career has taken an unconventional path, from serving in the U.S. Marines to helping individuals and couples navigate intimacy, communication, and desire.He gained wider recognition through the UK television series Virgin Island, where he appeared as a professional surrogate partner supporting participants as they worked through intimacy challenges alongside licensed therapists.Through his practice, Coming Closer, Andre works with individuals and couples seeking deeper connection, whether addressing performance concerns, healing from past experiences, or rekindling passion in long-term relationships. His work is rooted in the Somatica® Method, which emphasizes learning through the body, open communication, and replacing shame with curiosity.Today, Andre leads private coaching, workshops, and a men’s course on sexual communication while continuing to expand his media presence.*Social media and websites*Website: https://www.coming-closer.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@comingcloserwithandre*What we were consuming*[Definition] Somatic coaching[TV] Virgin Island Season 2 trailer
- Apr 9, 202653 min
#44 Oh my God! The Crudies talk religion, spirituality and sex positivity
CRUDE #44Frank in Berlin and Effie in London are joined by Jonas from the Liebesapfel podcast for a bold, no-filter conversation about God, sex, religion—and all the uncomfortable overlaps in between.They get into the provocative stuff straight away: why do people dress up as nuns and priests, and what’s behind the so-called “Christian fetish” scene? Is it just taboo, or is there something deeper going on with power, symbolism, and desire?Can people be spiritual and religious without organsied religion? Or dowe need to throw the baby with the bathwater when it comes to god?How can religions that preach love and compassion also be tied to exclusion, hypocrisy, and even abuse? Where do those contradictions come from—and why do they keep repeating?The trio also explores the unexpected parallels between kink communities and religious spaces: rituals, rules, trust, belonging, and the pull of something bigger than yourself.Jonas is a Protestant theologian and philosopher currently living inZurich. He co-hosts the German-language podcast Liebesäpfel, where he advocates for a sex-positive approach to religion.Linktree: https://linktr.ee/liebesaepfel_podcastInstagram: @liebesaepfel_podcast*What we were consuming*[Book] Marcella Althaus-Reid. Indecent Theology: Theological Perversions in Sex, Gender and Politics (2000)[Biblical book] Song of Songs[Hindu Gods] Kali & Shiva
- Mar 17, 202643 min
#43 Mastering the masters - Sub-led kink education from a pro-masochist
CRUDE #43Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Posey Mehta. in to talk about the importance of kink education led by people within the community, highlighting why authentic, sub-led perspectives matter. It also takes a critical look at the UK’s laws around kink—examining how they can be discriminatory and, at times, rooted in homophobic assumptions. Alongside this, the conversation addresses the need for greater body diversity in kink representation, drawing on experiences from London’s only fat-centric cabaret night, Big Fat Cab, and the broader fight against fatphobia in queer spaces.Posey Mehta (they/them) is a multi-disciplinary live artist exploring fatness, submission, and masochism through drag, clown, and performance art. Their new show, Asking For It, challenges the illegality of S&M by inviting the audience to inflict Actual Bodily Harm on them in recognition of their capacity to consent. As their drag alter-ego, Mitzi Fitz, they run the sell-out sensation Big Fat Cabaret, London's best (and only) fat-centric cabaret. They're also a welfare monitor in kink spaces and advocate for sub-led kink education.*Upcoming shows*Asking For It WIPs | 20th & 21st April Protesting the illegality of S&M Big Fat Cabaret | 18th April Mitzi Fitz fat-centric cabaretPosey's Instagram ~ https://www.instagram.com/mosey_moo/*What we were consuming*[Book] Mary Gaitskill Secretary (1988)[Film] Pillion (2005)[Film] Secretary (2002)[Definition] TPE (Total Power Exchange)
- Feb 17, 202647 min
#42 Slow hands, sensual chats - a touch-along conversation on massage & pleasure
CRUDE #42Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Jessica Parker to talk about sensual pleasure touch.In a live yoni massage session (audio p*rn?), Jessica talks us through her practice and skills as she massages Effie.Misty and Frank also get the oils out and engage in some good old fashioned solo-voyeruism (totally different to solo-wa*king :p )With fingers inside and around their parts, Jessica and the Crudies discuss:What is mindful masturbat1on?Is it ok to invite a magic wand into bed with a partner?is toy addiction a thing?How can massage and touch close the orgasm gap?What's the secret to more orgasms? (Spoiler: it's communication :) )What's the diffeence between sexual, sensual and tantra massages?Jessica Parker is a pleasure educator, certified Sexological Bodyworker, and sensual events curator with over twenty years of experience in massage, touch, and erotic education. Known for her grounded, candid, and refreshingly real approach, she teaches the art of Sensual Massage to help people connect, communicate, and experience pleasure with confidence.With a background in managing high-end sensual events and producing immersive experiences such as Pleasure Island Parties and Lady Liquid Love, Jessica creates warm, professional, and playfully curated spaces where genuine sensuality can unfold. *Which oils should you use?*Jennifer recommends natural unscented, and organic oils for use around the genitalia. Grapseed and coconut are her preferrred oils. Lelo massage candles are a must.Website: www.jessicaparker.co*What we were consuming*[Dating app] AceSpace[Podcast] The Orgasm Cult (on all players)[Lifestyle] Orgasmic meditation
- Jan 17, 202654 min
#41 G-bangs, blood porn and solo-wan*ers with Four Chambers' Vex Ashley
CRUDE #41 Frank in Berlin is joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest VEX about a very special gangbang with Effie and Elle, before the trio move on to conversations about Vex’s many guises and her fascinating professional career, which touches on virtually every facet of the porn industry. Vex also opens up about her sexual awakening in her 30s.The Crudies discuss solo wan*ing, the sex-positive scenes in both the UK and Berlin, and how different cultures approach sexuality, performance, and personal branding. Along the way, they cover industry realities, creative freedom, and a host of other topics that make this episode an open, funny, and wide-ranging conversation.Is solo-wanking breaching consent norms?How can bad sex be good?What's the difference between perverts and sluts?Vex Ashley is an independent porn producer and performer and founder of the Four Chambers project. With a background in analogue photography, art school bullshit and digital sex online, Vex worked as a cam girl before beginning to make films as Four Chambers in 2013. Self-taught in cinematography with an emphasis on collaborative DIY practices, Four Chambers has spearheaded a new wave of creators making contemporary pornographic work from a new perspective with the aim to expand ideas about what porn can say, do and be.Independent, conceptual, creative, porn cinema. She speaks, writes and spends her time talking about making porn creatively and independently, sex as performance, authenticity and the self, art and pornography, technology and sex, camming and online censorship.Vex Linksinstagram.com/vextapeinstagram.com/fourchambers*What we were consuming*[Theory] Noelle Purdue (writer, artist, internet porn historian)[Sauna] Boiler Sauna Berlin[Research] Essay on women's growing interest in violent porn[Film] Maman parts 1 & 2 (mommy kink) can be found on the Four Chambered Heart website.
- Dec 24, 20251h 0m
#40 Sexy shots & shooting sexy – What is intimacy coordination?
CRUDE # 40Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Paulita Pappel to talk about her role as an intimacy coordinator on film sets. Paulita has experience as a performer, producer and director in the adult industry as well as mainstream movies.The crew discuses feminist porn and Paulita's incredible biography as visionary, activist and creative genius within the European porn scene. Before then discuss the role of an Intimacy coordinator role in cinema.Is the role just about actor protection?Can you be an intimacy coordinator and influence what a film looks like?How can you work with queer sex scenes if you aren't queer?Why is the Berlin porn film festival different?What have romantic comedies to do with porn?Paulita Pappel is a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer. After studying comparative literature in Berlin, she worked both in front and behind the camera. She is the founder of Lustery, a platform dedicated to the sex lives of real-life couples from around the world. She is the director of HardWerk, a film studio creating cinematic and tailored erotica. She also co-organizes and curates the Porn film festival Berlin and the conference Adult Industry Forum. Paulita works as a producer, director, performer and intimacy coordinator, and is an advocate for a sex-positive, consent-based culture.*Links*paulitapappel.comhttps://www.instagram.com/paulitapappelhttps://x.com/PaulitaPappelPaulita Pappel selected filmography: here*What we were consuming*[Book] Virginie Despentes, King Kong Theory (2006)[Film] Anora (2024)[Film] Blue is the Warmest Colour(2024)
- Nov 28, 202551 min
#39 Sploshing or licking feet – What's the difference between kink and fetish?
CRUDE #39Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to finally dive deep into how they each define kink and fetish, what these concepts mean to them personally, and how they shape their relationships, identities, and everyday lives. In this episode, the trio explores the differences and overlaps between kink culture, fetish culture, latex, and sexual expression, sharing real-life experiences, misconceptions they’ve encountered, and the evolution of their own desires.They talk about the role of consent, communication, boundaries, power dynamics, and negotiation within kink; how specific fetishes develop; and why self-acceptance is key in any alternative sexuality journey. The conversation also touches on how many people turn to sex workers to explore their kinks and fetishes.*What we were consuming*[Book] Anastasiia Federova, Second Skin: Inside the Worlds of Fetish, Kink and Deviant Desire (2025)[Book] Justin Lehmiller, The Psychology of Human Sexuality (2014)[Definition] Paraphilia – a condition characterized by unusual sexual desires, typically involving extreme or dangerous activities.[Wikipedia] Jessica Rabbit[Fetish] "objectophile" or "objectum sexual": An individual who experiences romantic or sexual feelings towards inanimate objects.[Book] Emily Nagoski , Come as You Are (2015)
- Oct 24, 202542 min
#38 What is ethical porn? Crude visits the Berlin Porn Film Festival
CRUDE # 38 Frank in Berlin and Effie in London sit down with filmmakers Sam and Ed from altSHIFT Films to explore the world of ethical and feminist porn, creative freedom, and the evolving landscape of adult media.Recorded during the Berlin Porn Film Festival, this episode dives into how ethical adult filmmaking challenges traditional narratives and the stigma that often surrounds the industry.Sam and Ed — longtime creators and industry professionals — share insights from their latest movie Blowie, and open up about how they approach filmmaking with integrity, consent, and artistry.In this episode, we discuss:What defines ethical porn?The role of performers, directors, and producers on setThe realities of filming — from consent practices to creative storytellingIs impact play and similar content automatically unethical?Why the Berlin Porn Film Festival is a key space for sex-positive cinema and artistic expressionJoin the CRUDIES as they unpack questions about ethics, representation, and the art behind adult filmmaking.altSHIFT film"A couple of queers making cinematic filth"twitter.com/altshiftxxxinstagram.com/xxaltshiftxx *What we were consuming*[Film] Blowie[Festival] Berlin Porn Film Festival[Data on female kinks] Aella[Wiki] Prince Andrew and the Epstein Scandal[Film] The Antichrist, 2009 (Lars von Trier)
About Crude
Join CRUDE where we mercilessly deconstruct love, s3x, bodies, and relationships using our own experiences and the thoughts of others. Slutty academics Frank and Misty are joined in Berlin by Elle, an activist, and avid partygoer Effie based in London. We’ll delve into topics intrinsic to modern relationships, sexual self-awareness, and the world of kink in liberal cities in the 21st century. The hosts are currently active and immersed in sex-positive scenes across Europe, meaning they date and meet a range of fizzing and wonderful people. The increasing influence of kink on mainstream attitudes towards sex and relationships means CRUDE's exploration provides listeners with an essential and entertaining examination of their own desires, passions, and the situationships that ensue.
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