A Sex Addict's Deception Playbook: How Your Partner Hides a Double Life

Most people imagine they'd recognize a sex addict. But here’s the reality most survivors never realize: you were never meant to see it. Sexual addictive behavior doesn’t look like deception or betrayal; it looks like distance, irritability, or a relationship going cold. You don’t realize you’re with someone who’s living a double life. In this interview, Dr. Kerry sits down with therapist Cheryl Camarillo, who specializes in sexual addiction and toxic relationships. Together they break down the deception architecture a sex addict builds, how narcissistic traits fuel the compartmentalization, and why partners so often blame themselves before they ever suspect the truth. It was never just about hiding an affair or a porn habit. It was about constructing a version of reality that kept you looking inward — at yourself — instead of at what was actually happening. If you've ever felt something was deeply wrong in your relationship but couldn't name it, this episode will give you language for what you experienced. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? In the members-only Podcast Extra, learn the specific behavioral signs you’ll notice first. If you're wondering whether what you experienced was real, this is where you'll find your answer. Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here. CHERYL CAMARILLO, a trauma-informed social worker demystifies the complexities of deep-seated trauma and offers a compassionate, real-world roadmap for individuals and families navigating life's heaviest struggles. As a social worker, consultant, and adoptive mother, Cheryl has spent decades on the front lines of human resilience. She brings her vast expertise to two critical, modern battlegrounds: sex therapy and sex addiction/partner betrayal trauma. Website: https://cherylcamarillo.com Key Moments 0:00 The Perfect Marriage With a Basement Full of Secrets 1:00 How Cheryl Married Into This World 3:09 Discovering the Truth and Finding Her Calling 5:17 Spotting the Pattern and Its Three Root Causes 7:34 Kerry's Own Story of 17 Women in Three Weeks 9:01 Is Sex Addiction a Form of Narcissism? 9:30 The Hidden Trauma You Can't See or Prove 11:33 What Real Intimacy Is Supposed to Feel Like 12:48 Why the Betrayed Partner Gets Left Behind 14:54 What Really Shapes a Sex Addict 17:32 Entitlement, Compulsion, and the Need for a Hit 22:04 Why Narcissists Never Feel Real Shame 23:48 Who Actually Recovers and Resources ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Dr. Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.