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Unshakeable Belief with Monica Connolly: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Monica Connolly
Welcome to Unshakeable Belief—a podcast for anyone navigating the messy middle of healing, reinvention, and purpose. Hosted by Monica Connolly—speaker, coach, trauma survivor, and transformation expert—this is where nervous system healing meets real-world leadership, and where faith and inner work create lasting change. Each week, join soul-stirring solo episodes and candid conversations exploring resilience, identity, gut-brain health, and rising after burnout or loss. You don’t need to be fully healed to live powerfully—you just have to believe enough to begin.
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- 5 days ago19 min
Why We Avoid the Things We Actually Want Ep 15
What happens when the thing you keep avoiding isn’t something you don’t want—but something you want deeply? That question can be confusing because we tend to assume that if we really want something, our behavior should naturally move us toward it. But sometimes the closer a dream gets to becoming real, the more vulnerable it can feel. In this episode of Unshakeable Belief, Monica explores why desire and avoidance can exist at the same time. Using her own experience with speaking and visibility, Monica looks at the difference between wanting an opportunity and actually allowing yourself to be seen inside it. Sometimes the fear isn’t really about the stage, the project, the conversation, or the next step. Sometimes it’s about what becomes possible once other people can respond to us. And that is where avoidance can make a lot more sense. Because possibility feels different from reality. As long as something remains an idea, we still have a lot of control over the story. Once we act, we begin receiving real information. Someone may say yes. Someone may say no. We may be misunderstood. We may succeed. We may discover that the experience asks more of us than we expected. That does not automatically mean we are moving in the wrong direction. Sometimes discomfort is simply showing us where something important feels vulnerable. In this episode, Monica also explores how old ideas about who we are can influence the choices we make now, why avoiding an experience can keep old beliefs intact, and how taking action can give us new evidence about what we are capable of handling today. The question isn’t simply: “Why am I getting in my own way?” A more useful question may be: “What becomes vulnerable when the thing I want starts becoming real?” Because behavior leaves clues. And when we understand what the behavior is trying to do for us, we have more information with which to choose what happens next. If you’re beginning to recognize behaviors, beliefs, or patterns that no longer fit the woman you’re becoming, Return to Herself was created for this work. Return to Herself is a live, four-week coaching experience designed to help you understand the patterns that have shaped you, reconnect with yourself beneath the pressure and expectations, and begin choosing what comes next more intentionally. Begins October 5 Investment: $197 https://trailblazerecosystem.com/subscribe/return-to-herself Website: Monica Azoulay – Behavior Leaves Clues Instagram: MonicaAzoulayOfficial LinkedIn: Monica Azoulay YouTube: Monica Azoulay Email: hellomonicaazoulay@gmail.com Monica Azoulay is a Behavior & Identity Investigator, speaker, author, podcast host, and creator of the RESET Methodology. Her work explores the behaviors, beliefs, and experiences that shape who we become—and what happens when patterns that once helped us begin limiting where we want to go next. Her signature philosophy is simple: Behavior Leaves Clues. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- 1 weeks ago24 min
Ep 14: Productive Avoidance: When Working Hard Keeps You From Moving Forward
What if avoidance doesn’t look like doing nothing? What if it looks like working incredibly hard? In this episode of Unshakeable Belief, Monica Azoulay continues the September investigation into avoidance by examining one of its hardest forms to recognize: productive avoidance. For high-capacity people, avoidance may not look like missed deadlines, ignored responsibilities, or a lack of motivation. It can look like researching, planning, organizing, revising, learning, solving problems, taking care of everyone else, and getting an extraordinary amount done. The question isn’t whether those behaviors are good or bad. The question is what they’re doing. Sometimes preparation genuinely improves the work. But sometimes preparation becomes protection—because as long as we’re researching, refining, planning, or perfecting, we don’t have to cross the line into vulnerability. We don’t have to send it. Publish it. Make the decision. Have the conversation. Ask for help. Let ourselves be evaluated. Or find out what happens when the thing we say we want becomes real. Monica also explores another form of productive avoidance: using busyness to avoid ourselves. When being capable, useful, responsible, or indispensable becomes part of our identity, constant movement can give us somewhere to go without having to acknowledge what we need, what we feel, or what may need to change. Capability and avoidance can coexist. And sometimes capability gives avoidance an excellent place to hide. In this episode, Monica offers one deceptively simple question that can help expose the difference between necessary preparation and protective delay: If this were already good enough, what would I have to do next? The answer may tell you far more than another productivity system ever could. Because the goal isn’t to become less capable. It’s to have more choice—to know whether you’re consciously choosing a behavior or whether you’ve become trapped by a strategy that once helped you feel safe. If you’re beginning to recognize the patterns, survival strategies, and identities that have been quietly shaping your choices, Return to Herself is an opportunity to take that investigation deeper. Beginning October 5, this live four-week coaching experience will help you move beyond recognizing your patterns and begin reconnecting with the woman underneath the pressure, perfectionism, and expectations. Investment: $197 https://trailblazerecosystem.com/subscribe/return-to-herself Website: Monica Azoulay – Behavior Leaves Clues Instagram: MonicaAzoulayOfficial LinkedIn: Monica Azoulay YouTube: MonicaAzoulay Email: hellomonicaazoulay@gmail.com About Monica Azoulay Monica Azoulay is a Behavior & Identity Investigator, speaker, author, podcast host, and creator of the RESET Methodology. Her work investigates the behaviors, beliefs, and survival strategies that shape who we become—and what happens when the patterns that once protected us begin limiting where we want to go next. Behavior Leaves Clues. RETURN TO HERSELFCONNECT WITH MONICA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- 2 weeks ago28 min
Avoidance Isn’t the Problem: What Is It Protecting You From?
What if avoidance isn’t the problem? What if it’s evidence? We tend to interpret avoidance as a character flaw. I’m procrastinating. I need more discipline. I’m inconsistent. I keep getting in my own way. I’m self-sabotaging. But what if we’ve been asking the wrong question? In this episode of Unshakeable Belief, we begin our September investigation into avoidance by looking beneath the behavior instead of judging it. Because avoidance often does something very effectively: it gives us immediate relief. Put off the email and you don’t have to risk hearing no today. Delay the difficult conversation and the tension temporarily disappears. Keep researching instead of submitting and you don’t have to find out how someone will respond to your work. For a moment, avoidance works. And that matters, because every time avoiding something reduces discomfort, the brain receives information: this strategy helped. Over time, a behavior that once protected us can begin limiting us. In this episode, I’m exploring why we can deeply want something and still avoid the actions required to move toward it, how avoidance can slowly erode self-trust, and why understanding a protective behavior doesn’t mean excusing it. It gives us more information with which to choose what happens next. Instead of beginning with: “How do I make myself do this?” I want you to try a different question: “What does some part of me believe will happen if I do?” Maybe the answer is rejection. Criticism. Failure. Conflict. Uncertainty. Being misunderstood. Being seen. Or perhaps something you haven’t identified yet. You don’t have to change it today. For now, we’re collecting evidence. Because investigators don’t judge evidence. They study it. And when we investigate the pattern, we reclaim the power to choose. RETURN TO HERSELF If you’re ready to go deeper into the behaviors, beliefs, and survival strategies shaping the way you think, respond, and make decisions, I’d love to invite you into Return to Herself. Beginning October 5, this live 4-week coaching experience will help you move beyond simply recognizing your patterns and begin reconnecting with who you are underneath the pressure, perfectionism, expectations, and protective strategies. Investment: $197 https://byotgroupcoaching.com/subscribe/return-to-herself CONNECT WITH MONICA Website: www.MonicaAzoulay.com Instagram: MonicaAzoulayOfficial LinkedIn: Monica Azoulay YouTube: Monica Azoulay Email: HelloMonicaAzoulay@gmail.com ABOUT MONICA AZOULAY Monica Azoulay is a Behavior & Identity Investigator, speaker, author, podcast host, and creator of the RESET Methodology. Her work investigates the behaviors, beliefs, survival strategies, and identity patterns that shape who we become. Behavior Leaves Clues. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- 3 weeks ago34 min
From Performance to Peace: When Perfectionism No Longer Gets to Lead
What if healing from perfectionism doesn’t mean perfectionism disappears? What if freedom is learning that it no longer gets to make your decisions? In this final episode of our August series on perfectionism, we’re moving from investigation into choice. Over the past several weeks, we’ve looked beneath perfectionism to understand what it may actually be protecting. We’ve explored criticism, rejection, shame, failure, vulnerability, visibility, and the enormous cost of continually moving the finish line. But understanding the pattern is only the beginning. In this episode, I’m exploring what happens when perfectionism still shows up—but you stop automatically believing everything it says. We’ll talk about the difference between awareness and transformation, why healing doesn’t require eliminating every fearful thought, and how perfectionism can disguise fear as responsibility, preparation, or wisdom. I’ll also share one of the most important shifts I’ve made in my own life: moving away from the pursuit of certainty and toward faithfulness. Because perfectionism wants guarantees. It wants the whole map. It wants to know that if we prepare enough, perform well enough, and control enough, we can somehow eliminate criticism, rejection, disappointment, or failure. But life doesn’t offer that kind of certainty. So perhaps peace isn’t something waiting for us once we finally get everything right. Perhaps peace is something we learn to practice while we are still becoming. Before you leave this episode, I’ll give you three questions to use the next time perfectionism starts getting loud: What is this voice trying to protect? Is that protection still necessary today? What would the next faithful step look like instead? Not the perfect step. Not the safest step. The next faithful one. Behavior leaves clues. Curiosity replaces shame. Truth creates freedom. And you were made for more. Website: Monica Azoulay – Behavior Leaves Clues Email: hellomonicaazoulay@gmail.com ABOUT MONICA AZOULAY Monica Azoulay is a Behavior & Identity Investigator, speaker, author, podcast host, and creator of the RESET Methodology. She investigates the behaviors, beliefs, survival strategies, and identity patterns that shape who we become—and helps high-achieving women understand the patterns that may be limiting who they become next. Behavior Leaves Clues. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- Aug 19, 202627 min
Episode 11: The Price of Perfection
What has perfectionism cost you? In the last episode of Unshakeable Belief, we investigated what perfectionism may have been protecting. That understanding matters because perfectionism didn't develop because there was something wrong with you. Somewhere along the way, being careful, prepared, accomplished, or getting things "right" may have helped you feel safer. But every survival strategy eventually sends us a bill. In The Price of Perfection, Monica Azoulay takes the investigation one step further by asking what happens when a behavior that once protected us begins limiting us. Perfectionism can create chronic pressure without us even realizing we're carrying it. The project is finished, but we're already rewriting it. Someone compliments us, and we explain why we don't deserve the praise. We accomplish something meaningful, but instead of celebrating, our attention immediately shifts to what still needs improvement. The finish line keeps moving because perfectionism doesn't really know how to celebrate. It knows how to evaluate. That pressure can also quietly postpone our lives. Perfectionism doesn't always tell us to abandon the dream. Sometimes it simply tells us to wait until we're more prepared, more confident, more qualified, or finally "ready." Preparation and discernment matter, but sometimes fear borrows the language of wisdom. At some point, every meaningful opportunity requires us to step forward while we are still vulnerable enough to be seen learning. The cost can reach far beyond our work. Perfectionism can steal presence from our relationships, make rest feel undeserved, turn accomplishments into another opportunity for self-evaluation, and even influence who we believe we need to become in order to belong. It can follow us into our faith and turn relationship into another place where we feel as though we're being graded. This episode is an invitation to recognize those costs without shaming yourself for the strategy that created them. Sometimes healing includes grieving what perfectionism has taken—the opportunities postponed, the moments rushed past, the projects never released, or the years spent trying to earn worth, love, belonging, acceptance, or rest. This week, when you notice perfectionism appearing, pause and ask two questions: What am I trying to protect right now? Then ask: What is this protection costing me? You don't need to immediately fix the answer. Begin by noticing it. Because awareness creates choice, and choice creates freedom. If you're ready to investigate the behaviors, beliefs, and survival strategies that may still be shaping your life, download the free RESET Toolkit. And if you know someone carrying impossible expectations, never feeling like they're enough, or waiting until everything is perfect before they begin, share this episode with them. Sometimes one new question can change someone's entire life. Behavior leaves clues. Curiosity replaces shame. And you were made for more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- Aug 12, 202643 min
Episode 10: What Is Perfectionism Protecting?
Perfectionism isn't always about high standards. Sometimes it's about feeling safe. In this episode of Unshakeable Belief, Monica Azoulay investigates one of the most common behaviors she sees in coaching and in her own life: perfectionism. What if perfectionism isn't your identity—but a survival strategy? Through the story of saying yes to an invitation she almost declined, Monica explores how perfectionism often develops to protect us from criticism, rejection, blame, uncertainty, visibility, and shame. She challenges the belief that excellence and perfectionism are the same thing, revealing how fear can quietly disguise itself as wisdom and keep us waiting for the "perfect" moment to begin. In this episode, you'll discover: • The difference between excellence and perfectionism • What perfectionism may actually be protecting • Why protective behaviors deserve curiosity instead of shame • How fear often disguises itself as preparation • The connection between perfectionism, self-trust, and the nervous system • Four powerful questions to investigate your own perfectionistic patterns • Why repeated imperfect action creates new evidence for lasting transformation Key Takeaway Perfectionism is not your identity. It's a strategy. And when we understand what it's been trying to protect, we can begin choosing from truth instead of fear. Resources 🌸 Enrollment is now open for Return to Herself, my four-week coaching experience beginning October 6. 🎙️ Enjoying the podcast? Follow, rate, and share this episode with someone who's been waiting until they feel "ready." Connect with Monica Website: Monica Azoulay – Behavior Leaves Clues Instagram: @monicaazoulayofficial LinkedIn: Monica Azoulay Facebook: Monica Azoulay Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- Aug 5, 202644 min
Perfection Isn't Your Problem
Perfection Isn't Your Problem Have you ever said, "I'm just a perfectionist"? What if perfectionism isn't your personality... What if it's protection? In this first episode of our four-part series on perfectionism, Monica challenges one of the most common assumptions about high achievers—that perfectionism is simply having high standards. Instead, she explores a different possibility: What if perfectionism is a learned survival strategy? Drawing from her own experience of stepping away from a carefully prepared keynote to speak from the heart, Monica explains why perfectionism isn't the real problem. It's a behavior that leaves clues about the stories, beliefs, and experiences that shaped the way we learned to stay safe. In this episode, you'll discover the difference between excellence and perfectionism, why perfectionism often feels necessary, and how curiosity—not shame—is the first step toward lasting transformation. In this episode, you'll learn: * Why perfectionism is a behavior, not your identity *The difference between excellence and fear-driven performance *How perfectionism becomes a strategy for safety, approval and belonging *Why preparation and perfection are not the same thing *How to being recognizing perfectionism without judging yourself *Why curiosity creates the freedom while shame keeps us stuck Reflection Questions: *When do I feel the strongest pressure to "get it right?" *What am I afraid might happen if I'm not perfect? *Am I pursuing excellence...or am I pursing safety? *What is perfectionism trying to protect? If today's conversation resonated with you and you're ready to move beyond simply understanding your patterns, I invite you to join Return To Herself, my live four-week coaching experience beginning October 6. Together, we'll investigate the behaviors, beliefs, and survival strategies that have been shaping your life so you can reconnect with who you've always been beneath the pressure, perfectionism, and expectations. Connect with Monica Website: www.MonicaAzoulay.com Instagram: MonicaAzoulayOfficial Facebook: Monica Azoulay LinkedIn: Monica Azoulay YouTube: MonicaAzoulay If this episode encouraged you... Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who may be exhausted from trying to get everything right. You never know how one conversation can change someone's life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- Jul 29, 202628 min
Episode 8: The Strong One Is Lonely Too
What if the strength everyone admires is also the reason no one realizes you're exhausted? Many high-capacity women have become so accustomed to carrying everyone else that they no longer recognize the cost. They show up. They keep the peace. They solve problems. They anticipate needs. They become the dependable one—the strong one. But somewhere along the way, being needed can quietly replace being known. In this episode of Unshakeable Belief, Monica investigates the hidden loneliness that often accompanies strength. Together, you'll explore why overfunctioning becomes an identity, how survival strategies can disguise themselves as virtues, and why emotional exhaustion isn't a sign of weakness—it's often evidence that you've been carrying too much for too long. The discussion invites you to look beneath the behavior with compassion, because behavior leaves clues. In this episode, you'll discover: Why being needed isn't the same as being emotionally cared for How overfunctioning can become part of your identity The connection between nervous system regulation and emotional exhaustion Why receiving support can feel uncomfortable after years of surviving Practical questions to help you investigate your own patterns with curiosity instead of judgment Before you move on with your day, ask yourself: Who knows my heart—not just what I do for everyone else? If that question stirs something in you, don't rush past it. Stay curious. Sometimes the first step toward healing isn't becoming stronger—it's allowing yourself to be supported. If this episode encouraged you, share it with someone who has always been "the strong one." You never know who needs the reminder that they don't have to carry everything alone. To learn more about Monica Azoulay, the RESET Methodology™, and the Return to Herself program, visit www.monicaazoulay.com and join the email community for weekly encouragement, research, and resources designed to help you reconnect with who God created you to be. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
About Unshakeable Belief with Monica Connolly
Welcome to Unshakeable Belief—a podcast for anyone navigating the messy middle of healing, reinvention, and purpose. Hosted by Monica Connolly—speaker, coach, trauma survivor, and transformation expert—this is where nervous system healing meets real-world leadership, and where faith and inner work create lasting change. Each week, join soul-stirring solo episodes and candid conversations exploring resilience, identity, gut-brain health, and rising after burnout or loss. You don’t need to be fully healed to live powerfully—you just have to believe enough to begin.
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