Tom Kelly Show

Long Island Crimes And Naming Every Town On Long Island

June 15, 2026·36 min
Episode Description from the Publisher

Tom Kelly and Steve Burgerer riff on Long Island "victimless crimes," fake service dogs, loud motorcycles, e-bikes, bad parking etiquette, walkable towns, and whether naming every town on Long Island could somehow become viral content. The episode eventually turns into a full-on Long Island town naming marathon inspired by Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and Jimmy Fallon — with debates over which towns are real, which ones sound fake, and why every Long Islander secretly wants to hear their hometown mentioned. Tom also talks about comedy, podcasting, audience behavior, Andy Kaufman-style performance art, and an awkward comedy dating show featuring 9/11 jokes gone wrong. If you love Long Island culture, local humor, Massapequa references, Eisenhower Park, Nassau County chaos, and two comedians arguing about whether "Village of the Branch" is a real place… this episode is for you.

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