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by Thot Topics
Thot Topics is a podcast with the bravery to stare into the void and ask God’s question: ”Do I look fat in these jeans?” Every week, Nick Malone and Cris Lopez slow-motion dive into music, culture, and politics, then emerge soaking wet with 100% certified accurate takes for your listening pleasure. If you’ve ever felt gaslit by gay Twitter, or by a sizing chart while online shopping, this will be the sisterhood of a lifetime.
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- Yesterday1h 9m
Awkwafina of Time!
Big sista generals all across the nation, wave your flag high in the sky because it's motherfucking Veteran's Day! $6 Vodka Red Bulls all night! Ladies free before 10 PM! Shake sum ass you sexy juicy f*ggot! It's a very patriotic week in the Thot Topics War Room as we celebrate the powerful re-libtarding of our great nation. What does the BLUENAMI mean for YOU, the young-ish homosexual at home? We're asking the really hard hitting questions. We do a little seething & coping about a certain film for those tapped into the lore, but we also give our review of the OCARINA OF TIME Switch remake. You're getting Thot Topics at a stable 60fps! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Just effing VOTE on Patreon.
- 3 weeks ago1h 6m
The Shea Couleé Foundation for Forgiving Shangela!
Well, girls, we've come full circle. If you can believe it, almost SEVEN YEARS AGO, we discussed the exact same motherfucking Slayyyter tweets on the very first episode of Thot Topics. And the solution to the situation has not changed: shut the fuck up and fuck me! This week, the gals go deep on RACISM. Who's got it? Who wants it? And who will be its best and brightest STAR? We talk about the white suburbs, the early Internet, being a teenager, being a screenager, and the politics of dragging her and reading her. Honestly I think we solve cancel culture in one go. But that's not all: we discuss ABRUPTLY STOPPING MY MEDS, FELINE DENTAL PROCEDURES, and so much more. Buckle up hunty! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Donate to Shea Couleé because she's clearly struggling on Patreon.
- Oct 13, 202616 min
Catalytic Conversion Therapy! (Preview)
Subscribe to the Thot Topics Patreon for the full episode: patreon.com/thottopics Another entry into the Nick's Unending Misery episode canon! This week, the girls discuss yet another instance of VEHICLE DESTRUCTION and CAR PART THEFT in the totally upside-down world that we live in. Join us as we navigate the hellish labyrinth of INSURANCE, THE SURVEILLANCE STATE, THE NON-EMERGENCY HELPLINE, and countless other broken institutions you god damn BITCH!!!! Lighter, smaller potatoes are on offer at the end though: we review the new Grimes single ACCELERANDO, the new Slayyyter track, and Cece Natalie's shall we say interesting return to music with FLOOD WHOLE TOWNS. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Donate to the Nick Malone Psychic Relief Fund on Patreon.
- Oct 4, 20261h 8m
Tinaurshe!
Secure your wig sis, a new episode is coming... The world is attempting to carry out a Tinashe revolution, so naturally we needed to assess the historical situation and international implications. This week, the girls go deep on POPSTAR, the critically acclaimed new album from a longtime enemy of the pod, and we attempt to process the information with open minds and hearts. Anyone can cook, but what about a bitch who has tested us time and time again? The truth reveals itself. But that's not all: MALE BISEXUALITY and why hetero women refuse to accept it. If you're obsessed with dick, and I'm obsessed with dick, who the hell is flying the plane? We discuss the Dumb Bitch Monologues. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Be a nasty girl on Patreon for just $5 a month.
- Sep 21, 20261h 9m
Rose Bean Machine!
It's Rose Bean Polanksy Monday, put your Rose Bean Polanskys in the sky! We are back as fuck baby!! This week, the girls conquer the question on everyone's mind, reporting live from the People's Republic of Macklemoreistan: should Ed Sheeran be KILLED for his crimes against humanity? We are prepared to issue judgement. Send in the executioner hunni! But that is not all: we test our knowledge of the human population and their Spotify listening habits, and psychoanalyze the listeners of the top 5 most streamed artists in the world right now. Plus, a girly little catchup convo that's sure to rivet. Now shut the fuck up and fuck me! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. "Pop some tags" on Patreon.
- Sep 9, 202610 min
Healing Your Inner Chile! (Preview)
PATRONS ONLY!! Subscribe for full access at patreon.com/thottopics. Welcome to the Thot Topics Radical Self-Love Hour, brought to you by Tampax Pearl. I just shoved the talking stick up my pussy! {BOMB DETONATES} Bring your spirit and buss it open because we're plunging deep! We do a little bit of everyone's FAVORITE topic: the neverending war on our personal VICES. When the going gets fat and nathty, what's a heffa to do? We discuss WATCHED-OVER POTS, MISSING ROTH IRA DAY AT SCHOOL, and so much more. I'm sure some people are going to find this segment gratuitous but I really needed to get this stuff out y'all! Then it's onto the business end of the animal: LINDSAY CLANCY and female true crime hysteria. Should she be sent to the SLAMMER, or should we give her a pussy hat and let her vote for Hillary? We get to the bottom of the matter with our admittedly limited knowledge on the subject. Truth nuke incoming! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Finance our recurring visits to the psychiatric doctor on Patreon.
- Aug 7, 202613 min
Ariana Foie Grasnde (Preview)
**PATRONS ONLY** Full ep available at patreon.com/thottopics! Just like EVERY fucking WEEK! Alternate title: Music, F*ggots, Film..... We are BACK! And All-Star rules are in full effect... ladies get ready to cut loose & let the truth fly! This week is all about the vicious spread of BODY HORROR across America this week, all the blood and bones and slices and dices hunni. There's obviously much to be discussed. First, we give our two cents on MUSIC FASHION FILM, the new Charli XCX album that has unfortunately NOT grown on us with time... But then, things get really gnarly: Ariana Grande's pointy clavicle and the fear for young skinny women everywhere, and Perez Hilton's bloody meltdown on IG Live. We issue a formal diagnosis for all parties and are ready to cut a prescription. But that's not all: Nick has a mental breakdown of her own! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Get it get it get it get it mix it and mix it and mix it and mix it on Patreon.
- Jul 14, 20261h 8m
Madonkey of the Day!
Welcome to Madonnald's, Will You Be Using Your Mobile App Today? Call it podcasting... call it Internet Radio... call it love without words! Put your listening ears and your dancing shoes on because it's time to CONFESS! This week, we are talking about MADONNA and CONFESSIONS 2 and the meteoric rise of Old Ho Summer. Get into the groove baby. But that's not all: this episode really got away from us somewhere along the way and it goes in so many different and upsetting directions... getting into an altercation with a cyclist... anxiety management tactics and the fear of mass violence... the 5 Madonna songs Nick would request for a private concert... and so much more. I fear to say more. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Create a new persona on Patreon.
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About Thot Topics
Thot Topics is a podcast with the bravery to stare into the void and ask God’s question: ”Do I look fat in these jeans?” Every week, Nick Malone and Cris Lopez slow-motion dive into music, culture, and politics, then emerge soaking wet with 100% certified accurate takes for your listening pleasure. If you’ve ever felt gaslit by gay Twitter, or by a sizing chart while online shopping, this will be the sisterhood of a lifetime.
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Frequently Asked Questions
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