The Unfvckd Podcast

"They Were Already Planning My Court-Martial" — Christian Craighead, Part 2

September 18, 2026·1h 50m
Episode Description from the Publisher

He's inside 14 Riverside Drive alone. His own side is planning his court-martial. Nobody sends him maps, mug shots, or orders — and 150 people are hiding in a hair salon.Part 2 of 3. Christian Craighead — former SAS — walks through the DusitD2 assault door by door: the kitchen full of wounded, the hair salon, the 12-story car park, the police commissioner who asked "Can you lead my men?", and the phone call that put him on the line with the President of Kenya. It ends on the sixth floor of the hotel with grenades coming down the stairs and the terrorists starting to pray.The first 40 minutes are the conversation that explains the rest: why military training "isn't good enough," why cardiovascular is king, why the monsters fail selection, and the 10-round shooting standard he refuses to publish.If you want the assault only, jump to 40:20.CHAPTERS0:00 Cold open — "Security forces outside. I'm armed and I'm coming in."0:29 Part 22:52 Why military training isn't good enough6:37 "Why does it matter?" — where standards actually come from8:44 The magazine change nobody trains10:40 Training scars and what actually transfers12:00 Be good at everything — champions of a choreographed zone13:44 Moving with the gun: freeing up bandwidth16:43 "Cardiovascular is king"18:02 Kenya was a physical day — "not once did I wish I'd done more deadlifts"19:03 Consistency at your worst: 22 hours in, no food, no sleep, no water20:06 The drag test — after a mile and a half and a 400m sprint22:01 Air, endurance, and the long meditative effort24:55 The big Russians who vanished when it went cardiovascular26:26 "You're lifting weights. You're not getting stronger."28:34 The thing "right about here"28:55 7 September 1992 — eight boys at the train station, one graduate29:32 Why the monsters fail selection33:03 Standards are always for one event34:55 "The Standard" — the 10-round drill he won't publish36:42 Standards as identity vs. the bare minimum39:02 Range break39:06 The James Bond myth — special ops is a team, stack the odds40:20 Back inside: "I didn't know what the terrorists looked like"44:17 Door one vs. door fifty — rewriting CQB on the job45:15 "I'm going to have to write a report about this"46:26 The storeroom. The kitchen. The first wounded.47:39 Banging on the door — "Security forces outside"48:08 Decision point: search-and-destroy becomes hostage rescue49:49 "Come and help me." Nobody does.50:05 The free radicals51:42 The one he didn't trust52:47 The ops room calls: "He's on the telly"53:52 The High Commission: "Who gave him permission?"54:46 "He's gone rogue" — the court-martial, 30 minutes in55:35 Heavy fire from an elevated position56:05 "Everyone wants to be a gangster…"56:54 "Give me four guys." "We're waiting for orders."57:42 The footage that disappeared59:27 "You just sold the SAS to a generation"59:49 Betty — his grandma1:04:06 Morpeth, Stobhill, and where the hypervigilance started1:06:25 "I'm not this angelic kid" — the violent path1:07:58 "When did you know you were different?" — "Maybe 2019."1:09:12 Sheepdogs, wolves, and geezers1:10:14 The hair salon: a flashbang and 150 people hiding1:11:50 Taking charge of the free radicals1:13:36 The two Kenyan police officers who stayed1:14:53 The office — sliding under the desk. "Jambo, habari."1:17:06 Clearing the 12-story car park1:18:04 Daniel, the Slovenian in the ballistic vest1:19:10 Complacency — the last cupboard on the last floor1:21:31 Second people vs. millisecond people1:23:27 Why "everyone is a threat" is wrong1:27:19 "I'm just adding value"1:28:31 Photographs, evidence, being an asset at every level1:30:59 Shots from the helicopter — the red-tape miracle1:33:02 The Police Commissioner: "Can you lead my men?"1:34:35 What would have happened otherwise1:35:57 The plan — a company of GSU officers behind him1:36:35 The photograph with the piece of paper1:38:32 No maps, no mug shots — "No one is to communicate with Christian"1:39:51 Recce Squadron: "Can you prove it?"1:41:16 Two and a half hours, soaked through — "I might be in trouble"1:42:05 The message to the Director of Intelligence1:43:16 "Report directly to me and the President" — legal again1:44:26 The command post in the hotel bar1:45:47 "I'm not adding value" — up the service stairs1:46:48 Two grenades down the stairs1:48:34 "Do you think they saw the Mzungu turn up?"1:49:16 They start praying. "Get ready."—Christian Crai

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