S3 | Session 5: What Does Your Fear Need?

Have you ever fought so hard for a connection that one day, you simply run out of energy? You stop yelling. You stop protesting. You just… go quiet. That is exactly where we find Rachel today. Exhausted from years of feeling emotionally dropped, Rachel's nervous system is so overloaded that she has shifted from anxious pursuit into complete emotional numbing. She is grappling with a dark, heavy belief that she is fundamentally 'too much' to be loved. In this episode, we gently unpack that heavy suitcase of grief. We trace Rachel's fear of rejection all the way back to her childhood, to a little girl who was teased and left entirely alone to manage her pain. We explore what happens when we use "distractions"—focusing on the thousands of little problems we have to solve throughout the day—as a way to control the dark, horrible place of feelings inside of us. You will hear how those early experiences of emotional abandonment built the invisible walls Rachel is hiding behind right now, and what happens when we finally slow down to ask the body: What is your fear fearing? What does your fear need? Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship. For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast Take Julie's Anxious Attachment Course: Anxious Attachment: Self-Work Course Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime.