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by DB
A digital diary in episodic format about my car accident and subsequent incarceration. Tragic, honest, uplifting and at times funny, this is a recounting of my experience in a place I never thought I would be. Thank you for listening and being respectful. - db
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On this episode I talk about adjusting back into a life of sobriety and the reality of what "normal" looks like after a period of drinking. I also was going to sing a few songs, but I absolutely cut that portion out because it sounded like hot garbage. I'm not sure what I was thinking. I can't sing very well. Thank me later. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. -Denis Baldwin
On today's episode, I finally open up about the one major life event that led me to prison. It wasn't easy decising that I wanted to do this episode, but I feel like I am at a point in my life where I can finally be honest and put it out there. This is my personal experience: It is not meant to shame, hurt, or slander anyone involved. I've been very angry and resentful over how things unfolded, but I've also been proud that I feel I still made the right decision at the time, even if it led to me completely mishandling things afterwards. The consequences, both good and bad, are something that I have to live with and have been trying to do so for over a decade. Thank you for listening and being respectful. -Denis Baldwin
Currently going through one of the hardest times of my life. It is especially difficult being self aware and introspective yet you make terrible decisions that have long term effects. I understand and recognize that I'm going through the stages of grief right now. It has helped me to sit with my emotions and try not to act on them, but it also feels like it's tearing my mind and heart apart at the same time. I've been very fortunate that people have been reaching out to me, although it still feels like such a lonely road and hard time. I'm not sure when things will get better, but I know that they will. I appreciate you guys listening and hope you too know that whatever you're going through, you will make it. -Denis Baldwin
Recovery isn't an easy road, especially when you've hurt the person or people you love the most. It makes you feel like you aren't worth living, deserve to be harmed or have the worst done to you, and makes you want to give up or give in. I'm currently going through all of it. I relapsed with alcohol and destroyed my engagement to my fiancée and there's no desire for reconciliation on her part even though I will always cling to even the smallest shred of hope because that's how I'm wired. The pain is extremely fresh for her, what she is going through I can only imagine because it exponentially worse than what I'm going through. Even though it was an addiction to alcohol and I wasn't in my right mindset, having the choice to stop taken from me at a certain point, it was my choice to start drinking again in the first place. I take full accountability, but God do the consequences hurt more than anything I've ever experienced before... and I have experienced a lot of pain. Thank you for listening. If you feel anyone might be going through the same thing or could learn something from this, please share it with them. -Denis Baldwin
Raw and unfiltered: I betrayed the trust of my fiancée when I relapsed with alcohol. I hurt her so deeply and shattered her trust to the point where we are no longer engaged and it feels like all hope is lost. I'm afraid, confused, sick to my stomach, and utterly hate myself for doing it. It doesn't help to understand that it was because of my addiction, my dependency on alcohol which changed my mindset, my values, and who I am, since I still made the choice to drink in the first place. I blacked out, went completely on autopilot, and did something I would never do ever in a sober state. Right now this trauma is only a week old and involves people that are for now actively in my life. Please listen to with respect, and if you are out there struggling with your own compulsive behaviors or addictions, please seek help. I've started attending meetings and have scheduled a therapist. It isn't too late for me, and if you too are struggling, it isn't too late for you either. As always, thank you for listening. - Denis Baldwin
On this week's episode, I rehash the past when I was doing film festivals last year... turns out the guy that backstabbed me has been doing it to other people and is now in hot water. Curious to see how that all turns out. I also am going into a slow work season so I'm ready to get back on track with my health, my wealth, and working on me. If you have something you've been putting off, I suggest you hop to it and get it done. Time waits for no one! You can do it. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. -db
On this episode I was going to rant and rave about the terrible customer service I've been getting lately. I probably could have gone on and on about poorly trained or inexperienced people, but instead I found myself going with a different tact and exploring the jobs I've been in and the service I've given. I do still let off a little steam near the end because it is incredibly frustrating when you talk to a representative who's literal job is to help fix your problem and they only seem to exacerbate it. Oh well. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. -db
I'm officially a home owner! What a journey. After spending over 5 years in prison I could never imagine being where I'm at currently. It has been a long process and a lot of hard work but entirely worthwhile. On this episode, I catch everyone up on what that process looks like, although I entirely forgot to describe how awful the move itself was... It had just rained in Vegas so it was 105 degrees with humidity. Pretty terrible. We're still unpacking our boxes but we are about 90% settled. Expect more regularity out of the podcast now that I have a place of my own. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. -db
A digital diary in episodic format about my car accident and subsequent incarceration. Tragic, honest, uplifting and at times funny, this is a recounting of my experience in a place I never thought I would be. Thank you for listening and being respectful. - db
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