From Unexpected Pregnancy to Known Donor RIVF: A Queer Family Building & IVF Journey

Kaya Colin—therapist, couples coach, and parent of two—shares a deeply layered journey through identity, belonging, and queer family building.From an unexpected first pregnancy that challenged how others saw their queerness, to navigating single parenthood, to falling in love with their transmasculine partner and building their second child through reciprocal IVF—this story is complex, resilient, and deeply honest.We unpack what it means to feel “not queer enough,” the emotional toll of fertility journeys, and how to stay connected to your partner through identity shifts and everything that comes with building a family.Kaya also shares their decision to use a known donor, how they talk to their kids about their origin stories, and why their family is preparing to leave the U.S. in search of safety and alignment.This is a conversation about redefining family, reclaiming identity, and choosing your path—even when it doesn’t fit into anyone else’s box.🏳️‍🌈 Key TakeawaysIdentity isn’t always linear—especially within the queer communityExperiencing both external and internalized gatekeeping around queernessBecoming a parent while navigating a major identity shiftBuilding a relationship while already parenting a young childA partner’s gender transition within the relationshipReciprocal IVF (RIVF) with a trans partner and the physical/emotional tollFertility struggles, miscarriage, and the impact on relationshipsChoosing and navigating a known donor relationshipRaising kids with open, age-appropriate conversations about their origin storiesUsing books and language to normalize queer family buildingThe importance of staying connected as a couple during TTC and parentingMaking the decision to leave the U.S. for safety and alignment as a queer family🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)Kaya Colin (she/they) is a queer, non-binary therapist, couples coach, and founder of The Relational Compass. With over 15 years of clinical experience, Kaya specializes in helping couples navigate transitions, connection, and communication through a neuroscience-informed, relational approach.They are a parent of two and bring both professional expertise and lived experience to their work—particularly when it comes to relationships, identity, and family building within the LGBTQ+ community.🏳️‍🌈 Resources MentionedWebsite: https://therelationalcompass.comInstagram: @therelationalcompass🏳️‍🌈 Interested in advertising? Email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com🎧 Loved this episode?Support The Queer Family Podcast on Patreon for exclusive bonus content and help keep these stories alive!OR become a paid subscriber through our RedCircle page for bonus episodes and one-time or recurring donations:🔗 redcircle.com/thequeerfamilypodcast/exclusive-content🏳️‍🌈 What resonated most with you?Drop a comment, DM us, or email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com—we love hearing your stories!🏳️‍🌈 Let’s Connect!Find us on IG, TikTok, Bluesky, & YouTube: @thequeerfamilypodcast 🏳️‍🌈 Watch full episodes on YouTube🏳️‍🌈 Order the If These Ovaries Could Talk book 🏳️‍🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️‍🌈 Co-Produced by Jaimie Kelton & Dianni Hall 🏳️‍🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️‍🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 🏳️‍🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️‍🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.The information shared in this episode is for educatio