201. Why You Can’t Stop Comparing Yourself to Your Partner’s Ex (OCD)

Can’t stop thinking about your partner’s ex? You might be caught in the OCD cycle of retroactive jealousy.   In this episode of The OCD Whisperer Podcast, Kristina Orlova speaks with Danielle Jhiani of My OCD Coach, an anxiety and OCD recovery coach with lived experience of OCD. Together, they explore retroactive jealousy, relationship OCD, intrusive thoughts, compulsive reassurance seeking, and the exhausting search for certainty about a partner’s past.   Danielle opens up about: • Her own experience with OCD across multiple different themes and how that led her to become an OCD recovery coach • Why the brain can become obsessed with a partner’s past relationships, exes, sexual experiences, appearance, and history • The hidden compulsions that can keep retroactive jealousy and relationship OCD going • How learning to recognize and stop compulsions became an important part of her own recovery   Whether you’re struggling with retroactive jealousy, relationship OCD, intrusive thoughts about your partner’s past, reassurance seeking, or obsessive comparison, this episode offers practical insight into recognizing the cycle, responding differently to uncertainty, and building a healthier relationship with your thoughts.    📲 About Danielle Jhiani (guest): • OCD and anxiety recovery coach • Webpage: https://www.myocdcoach.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/my_ocd_coach/   ✂️ TIMESTAMPS: [00:00] – What Is Retroactive Jealousy and Why Does the Mind Get Stuck on a Partner’s Past? [04:02] – What Are the Most Common Obsessions in Retroactive Jealousy? [06:19] – What Compulsions Keep Retroactive Jealousy and Relationship OCD Going? [10:17] – Why Do We Analyze Our Partner’s Reactions and Responses? [11:28] – Why Doesn’t Getting One More Detail Ever Give You Enough Certainty? [13:24] – What’s the Difference Between Healthy Curiosity and Retroactive Jealousy? [15:55] – What Should You Do When Intrusive Thoughts or Images About Your Partner’s Ex Won’t Go Away? [19:12] – How Do You Get Unstuck When OCD Keeps Replaying Your Partner’s Past? [22:26] – What Does Recovery From Retroactive Jealousy Actually Look Like? [25:18] – Why Did Danielle Choose OCD Coaching Instead of Becoming a Therapist? [28:20] – How Can Tracking Compulsions Help With OCD Recovery? [29:52] – How Can You Recognize When OCD Is Starting to Creep Back In? [32:37] – Why Can Lived Experience Help Someone Understand OCD Compulsions? [33:36] – What Should You Look For in an OCD Therapist or Coach? [35:31] – Why Becoming an Informed Consumer Matters in OCD Treatment?   ✅ Free Resources & Links 🎁 Free OCD Survival Kit & Classes → www.shorturl.at/KcTxM 📖 OCD CBT Journal → www.shorturl.at/7pUxB 🌐 Website → www.korresults.com/ ✍️ OCD Academy→ www.ocdacademy.thinkific.com/   📲 Stay Connected Facebook: www.facebook.com/korresults Instagram: www.instagram.com/ocdwhisperer/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@ocdwhisperer Twitter (X): www.x.com/korresults Website: www.korresults.com/ Website podcast: www.theocdwhisperer.com   📩 Business Inquiries: info@theocdwhisperer.com   ✅ About OCD Whisperer Welcome to OCD Whisperer! Each episode shares tools and insights for OCD recovery, managing intrusive thoughts, ERP therapy, CBT techniques, anxiety relief, and mindfulness practices. Join me for expert interviews and personal insights into overcoming OCD. Subscribe to find support, strategies, and hope for your OCD journey.   ⚠️ Disclaimer: Please note while the host is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in OCD and anxiety disorders in the state of California, this podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for therapy.   🔑 SEO Keywords retroactive jealousy OCD retroactive jealousy retroactive jealousy and OCD relationship OCD ROCD OCD about partner’s past OCD and jealousy intrusive thoughts about partner’s ex obsessive thoughts about partner’s past partner’s past OCD relationship anxiety reassurance seeking OCD OCD compulsions OCD rumination mental compulsions ERP for relationship OCD ERP for retroactive jealousy OCD recovery overc