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The High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Brook Olsen
Co-Parenting is the relationship that never ends. If your ex is difficult to deal with, if you are experiencing high-conflict and/or the children are being hurt by the behavior of your ex partner, then this show is for you. You may not be able to change them but you CAN change everything that your child needs to be healthy and happy. Listen in as Charlie and Brook discuss the principles, tools and techniques available in order to create peace in high conflict co-parenting relationships.
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- 2 days ago32 min
Episode 43 - Doing The Right Thing All The Time For The Right Reason(Ask for Nothing, Do Everything)
When we feel wronged, it’s tempting to keep score and hold back until things feel even. Brook Olsen and co-host Charlie Jewett talk about why that “tit for tat” game keeps parents from doing the right thing for their kids. Brook suggests a simple check: ask yourself, “How old do I feel when I’m thinking this way?” That helps you hear the part of you stomping its foot over what’s fair.They discuss when it makes sense to give something up, like a day for World Series tickets or a once-in-a-lifetime trip, without asking for anything in return. They also cover the petty ways parents punish each other. These include holding back belongings, delaying shared payments, and skipping practices or birthday parties. They talk about the costs of those choices to kids. They also look at moves and school changes, where the right thing for the child may also benefit the other parent.Brook closes with an important point: this isn’t co-parenting, and it isn’t getting run over. Firm boundaries and disengagement still apply. The difference is choosing deliberately when to open the gate.
- 4 days ago33 min
Episode 74 - Players in the Drama Triangle (What is Your Role)
Do you start out as the victim, the rescuer, or the persecutor? Brook Olsen and co-host Charlie Jewett walk through the drama triangle, first described by Dr. Stephen Karpman in the late 1960s. They explain each role, why we have a “starting gate” position we know best, and how we rotate through the triangle during conflict. The rescuer who gets resentful becomes the persecutor, and the persecutor who loses control becomes the victim.They look at where each role comes from. Persecutors often carry shame from childhood and cover it with control. Rescuers grew up with their own needs ignored and take care of others to feel valued. Victims look for someone to save them. Both hosts share where they see themselves, including Brook’s story of rescuing a partner and losing himself in the process.They also talk about what we pass on to our kids when we stay in the triangle, and how staying put and using the three rules of disengagement can make the pattern less powerful.
- 1 weeks ago42 min
Episode 86: Exploring Conflict (Resistance as the Guide)
What if the “no” you feel when something challenges you is a signal, not a stop sign? Brook Olsen and co-host Charlie Jewett explore resistance as a trailhead: the tight chest, the clenched jaw, the hard “no” that shows up when a belief gets pushed. Instead of shutting down, they suggest you pause and ask what the resistance is protecting.They look at how hard-no, black-and-white thinking plays out between co-parents, from medical and school decisions to disagreements about what happens at the other parent’s house. They also cover why sense-making matters more than reacting, how to tell the signal from the noise, and why parallel parenting means accepting what you can’t control. Along the way they bring in the “third way” of thinking, the idea that your ex may bring ideas worth hearing, and the “messender” who helps you clean up your own mess.If you’re stuck in the same conflict again and again, this episode offers a different place to start.
- 1 weeks ago34 min
Episode 65: Belief Systems (Development, Distortion, Reality)
Where do our beliefs come from, and how do they shape the way we act in a high-conflict situation? Brook Olsen and co-host Charlie Jewett explore how belief systems form in early childhood, often from a single moment a baby or young child had no way to interpret. Those beliefs act as a lens on everything we see, and they are rarely an accurate picture of reality.They talk about how these beliefs show up in high conflict personalities. Examples include the deep fear of abandonment and the shame behind a need to be seen a certain way. They also cover why people repeat the same relationship patterns, why an idealized self image is painful to let go of, and how parents pass distortions down to their kids. Brook shares a story from a recent retreat about catching his own reaction and asking, “What am I believing right now?” The two also compare parallel parenting to two restaurants serving the same dish in different ways.If you’re ready to look at your own BS (belief systems), this episode is a good place to start.
- 1 weeks ago44 min
Episode 59: The Value of Having a Coach (A Template for Consideration)
Why would you want a coach during a high-conflict separation? Brook Olsen is joined by Charlie Jewett and Tony McAllister to share what they wish they’d known when they started. Charlie, who went through his own custody fight, says it took him two years of spinning to see what was happening.The three explain that high conflict divorce is a language most attorneys and judges don’t speak fluently. A good coach helps you bridge the legal and the psychological sides, so you know what to expect and can steer your attorney instead of the other way around. They talk about building your “resume” with the court. That means arriving with a clear parenting plan, staying child-focused, and sticking to what is relevant and factual while the other side slings mud. They also cover handling curbside exchanges, working with limited court time, and letting your children be children.Along the way they share stories, a few laughs, and a joke about candy that sums up where kids should keep their minds during all of this.
- 2 weeks ago48 min
Episode 250 - Dynamics of Opposition and Perspectives in High Conflict with Jussi Light LMFT
Why do two parents who both want a relationship with their children end up locked in opposition? Brook Olsen talks with Jussi Light, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of New Growth Counseling in Carlsbad, California. He has spent two decades working with complex trauma and high-conflict custody cases.Jussi explains why structure has to come before de-escalation. He also describes how a parent’s own trauma and shame can drive the need for a child’s loyalty, and how parental enmeshment pulls a child against the other parent. He shares a practical idea for transitions: give kids a “mud room” to shake off the attitude they bring home. He also makes the case for specialized courts trained in high-conflict cases.To reach his practice, search New Growth Counseling Carlsbad, California.
- 2 weeks ago51 min
Episode 290 - How to Choose a Therapist or Conjoint Therapist for Your Children
When a court orders therapy for your child, the therapist you choose can move reunification forward or stall it for months. In this episode, Brook Olsen talks with two family therapists who work high-conflict custody cases about how to choose well.They explain the difference between individual and conjoint therapy, and the red flags to watch for. One is an individual therapist who has never spoken to both parents or hasn’t read the court orders. Another is a therapist who lets a child decide whether they are “ready” to see a parent. They also discuss why a child’s confidentiality works differently when the parent and child are the client together. Finally, they cover why a good treatment plan names enmeshment, triangulation, and parentification, and how to get that language into your court orders.If you are choosing a therapist for your child right now, this episode will help you know what to ask and what to avoid.
- 4 weeks ago51 min
Episode 289: How Family of Origin Dynamics Can Lead to High-Conflict Relationships
Why do some relationships become trapped in cycles of conflict, fear, and emotional reactivity?In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, Brooke Olson is joined by Jussi Light, LMFT, and Bryson Greaves, Ph.D., to explore how early family experiences and past relationship patterns can shape the way we respond to conflict later in life.Together, they look beyond labels such as attachment styles and personality disorders to examine the underlying dynamics that influence human behavior. They discuss how childhood experiences, unresolved fears, shame, and past betrayals can affect communication, trust, boundaries, and co-parenting relationships.The conversation highlights the importance of understanding what drives our reactions, recognizing emotional triggers, and building safer, healthier interactions that prioritize children's well-being.In this episode, you'll discover:How family-of-origin experiences can influence adult relationships.Why focusing on behavior and relationship dynamics can be more helpful than relying on labels.How fear and past experiences can fuel conflict between co-parents.Why boundaries, trust, and emotional awareness matter when navigating high-conflict situations.How understanding underlying patterns can support healthier co-parenting and better outcomes for children.
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About The High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast
Co-Parenting is the relationship that never ends. If your ex is difficult to deal with, if you are experiencing high-conflict and/or the children are being hurt by the behavior of your ex partner, then this show is for you. You may not be able to change them but you CAN change everything that your child needs to be healthy and happy. Listen in as Charlie and Brook discuss the principles, tools and techniques available in order to create peace in high conflict co-parenting relationships.
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