Why Your Sexless Marriage Isn't About Sex | Tressa Yonekawa

She shut down. Walked out of the room. And you spent the next three days replaying the one sentence that did it. That right there is a trigger talking to a trigger. And it's exactly what my guest today spends her career untangling. Tressa Yonekawa holds a graduate degree in cognitive neuroscience for communication. Twenty five years in, she's used it with corporate leaders, celebrity clients, and couples who feel more like roommates than lovers. We get into her own near drowning at four years old, the voice she heard underwater that redirected her entire life, and how her father's war trauma and a chaotic childhood taught her to read the patterns hiding underneath a fight. Here's what you'll walk away with. The exact phrase that stops a fight before it starts ("I have a story that...") Why "we're not having sex anymore" is almost never actually about sex Her four layer Trust Pyramid: presence, emotional safety, curiosity, then trust The one question most couples have never asked each other, and what happens when they finally do How she navigated her own divorce with grace instead of a courtroom fight Gorgeous, if you have ever gone quiet mid conversation because you didn't have the words, this one is for you. Watch the full conversation now and tell me in the comments which tool you're trying first. And if you're ready to take your health, relationships, and vitality to the next level, join me at my upcoming Vitality Event! Learn more and reserve your spot here: https://drannacabeca.com/pages/f-vitality-experience  Key Timestamps  00:00 — Meet Tressa and her background in cognitive neuroscience 04:00 — The near drowning at four and the voice underwater 10:00 — How childhood patterns show up in adult relationships 16:00 — The "I have a story that..." tool for defusing triggers  22:00 — Why sexless marriages are rarely about sex 28:00 — The Trust Pyramid explained 36:00 — Her own divorce and the elegant exit 42:00 — First steps for a woman feeling discontent in her relationship 48:00 — Where to find Tressa and how to send in your questions Memorable Quotes "What looks like anger is almost always fear based." — Tressa Yonekawa "Talking to somebody else's trigger creates harm." — Tressa Yonekawa "There's always hope, healing, and a body you love to live in." — Dr. Anna Cabeca   Connect With Guest  Website: https://tressayonekawa.com/   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tressa.yonekawa/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TressaYonekawa   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tressayonekawa   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tressayonekawa/    Connect With Dr. Anna  Website: Dranna.com  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegirlfrienddoctor/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thegirlfrienddoctor TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drannacabeca  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thegirlfrienddoctor