Neurodivergent Kids & Divorce

🎧 LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE IF… • You're parenting a child with autism, ADHD or suspected neurodivergence through a separation • You don't know how to tell a literal thinker that their parents are splitting up • Changeover is falling apart and your child refuses to go to the other house • Your ex denies the diagnosis, blocks therapy, or says "they're perfect at my place" • You need the court to understand what your child's daily needs actually look like • You're heading into a family report and you're dreading it • You're burnt out, doing all the appointments, and wondering if you've ruined your child Does the family court actually consider your child's neurodivergence when making parenting orders? What happens when your ex tells the lawyer your child doesn't have special needs at all? And can week-about ever work for a child who falls apart at every changeover? In this episode, Mum and I are joined by Amanda Lee – an autistic mum of autistic daughters, a qualified Montessori educator, parenting coach and registered counsellor who has also been through the family court herself. Amanda works with neurodiverse families navigating burnout, relationship breakdown and separation, and she brings both the qualifications and the lived experience. ⏱️ EPISODE TIMELINE 00:00 – Neurodivergent Kids and Divorce: What You Need to Know 01:01 – Meet Amanda Lee: Autistic Mum, Counsellor and Parenting Coach 03:22 – What's Actually Different for a Neurodivergent Child? 04:56 – Does the Family Court Need a Formal Diagnosis? 06:17 – How to Tell a Neurodivergent Child You're Separating 10:09 – Warning Signs Your Child Isn't Coping After Separation 13:59 – You Haven't Ruined Your Child: The Skills They're Building 14:32 – Documenting Your Child's Behaviour for the Family Court 15:27 – Transitions and Two Homes: Making Changeover Easier 20:04 – One Safe Person, One Safe Place: How to Parallel Parent 22:06 – When Your Child Refuses to Go to the Other House 22:58 – How to Write Observations That Hold Up as Evidence 26:00 – Free Checklists at The Divorce Course 27:09 – When Your Ex Won't Take the Kids to Therapy or OT 28:00 – The Ex Who Denies the Diagnosis: Talk About Behaviour Instead 30:24 – Masking, the Fawn Response and "Perfect at Dad's" 33:08 – Telling the School and Building Your Support Team 36:24 – "Therapeutic Purposes Only" Counselling Orders Explained 37:07 – How the Family Court Considers Neurodiversity 38:15 – NDIS Plans, Affidavits and a Day in the Life 40:02 – Choosing a Family Report Writer Who Gets Neurodivergence 41:00 – Preparing Your Child for the Family Report Interview 44:10 – Coaching Accusations and How to Avoid Them 46:15 – When Parents Can't Agree on Medical or Therapy Decisions 49:04 – Therapy Costs, Property Settlement and Child Support 51:05 – Support After 18: Adult Child Maintenance Explained 53:06 – Parental Burnout and the "Good Enough Parent" Standard 56:49 – Where to Find Amanda Lee   🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED • At What Age Can Children Decide Where They Live? –https://youtu.be/hUCh0Nzw0wM?si=3jLmbSGESM3ziQYq • What Is a Family Report? What to Expect on the Day –https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/family-reports-in-your-divorce/id1503451022?i=1000475552908 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Amanda Lee – Amanda Lee Consulting – amandaleeconsulting.com | Amanda Lee Consulting on Facebook & Instagram Understanding Zoe app – shared practitioner notes for your child's support team (may be fundable through NDIS) Teeny Tiny Stevies – ABC Kids / ABC iview (the goodbye-song idea) Videos for children about the family court – fcfcoa.gov.au Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) s 60CC – best interests of the child Family Law Amendment Act 2023 – parental responsibility and joint decision-making changes, in force May 2024 Services Australia – Child Support change of assessment (special circumstances) NDIS – ndis.gov.au   LINKS & RESOURCES 🌐 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog ✅ Free checkli