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The Comedian Next Door: Daily Summaries Delivered
by John Branyan
The Comedian Next Door
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- Today50 min
TCND: For Old Time's Sake (Almost Extinct Atheists)
We start the show with ADORABLE CUTENESS... Then, we talk about the Almost-Extinct Atheists and why you need to act now if you want to talk to someone who denies the existence of God... The future is Religious! (Of course, there will always be counterfeit religions to contend with. But godless Materialism, in particular, is on it's way out.) Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com ! We love to hear from you!
- 4 days ago1h 4m
Riff 105 - Trampolines, Crawdad holes, and childhood negotiation strategies
We start with the kind of childhood where entertainment meant going outside and finding out what could hurt us. We remember trampolines, lizard catching, dirt piles, snowball fights, snow forts, King of the Hill, and the roughhousing that occasionally produced injuries but somehow failed to produce a formal investigation. Parenting and grandparenting give us a different view of the same activities, especially now that we’re the people responsible for keeping the children alive. From there, we get into animals, crawfish mounds in yards, and the lessons kids pick up from being around nature. We talk about childhood toys and the things we once considered valuable, along with feeding animals and the encounters that made the outdoors its own education. Then we take everything we learned about sharing space as children and apply it to adults, which is where the system begins to break down. Traffic, parking, music in public, motorcycles, noise, approachability, and cultural differences all raise the same question: how much of public behavior is governed by actual rules, and how much depends on everybody choosing to not be jerks? By the end, we’re comparing the social cues of adulthood with the much simpler negotiations of childhood, when a dirt pile, or a snow fort could settle the agenda. After jumping on trampolines we traded King of the Hill for a much more complicated game with no clearly marked hill.
- 1 weeks ago12 min
TCND: The Men Are Gone (Right-of-Passage)
Hey, Neighbor! This is just a little message from The Peaches to explain why the men are missing. Collin turned 13 this week, which is kind of a big deal around here. Does your family do anything special as a right-of-passage for the young members? Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
- 2 weeks ago1h 1m
TCND: Andrew's Here and ASMR (Here I Am!)
Happy Labor Day, Neighbor! Andrew is on the podcast... John's microphone is trash... and ASMR is the name for that tingly sensation that runs down your spine when you get your head checked for lice. This episode also features several funny Kid Quotes from the week. AND, Later: If you have ADHD, it's basically the same as having a superpower! Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
- 2 weeks ago1h 3m
Riff 104 - Remake the worst movies, pay for premium dirt, walk on movie star names
Why hasn’t The Sound of Music been remade? That question makes us ponder the rules that determine which Hollywood properties can be recycled indefinitely and which apparently must remain untouched. Movie scenes and celebrity anecdotes keep complicating the distinction between cultural treasure and something people simply like for no good reason. Someone made proposal that Dolly Parton needs to be a saint, a proposal that's problematic on it's own terms but doubly probIematic when the proposition comes from an atheist. If canonization worked by popular vote, celebrities would arrive with ready-made constituencies, because fame has a way of turning reputation into evidence of virtue. Popular celebrities are assigned virtues by their fans. The focus widens to another cultural achievement: convincing people to buy things that are readily available for free. Water, dirt, coffee, and other everyday products become examples of what happens when marketing convinces us to pay a premium price for bargain level items. By the time the Hollywood Walk of Fame enters the discussion, movies, sainthood, products, and celebrity status are all running on surprisingly similar rules. A classic film can become too revered to remake, Dolly Parton can accumulate saintly credentials through public affection, and water or dirt can acquire value through presentation—while Hollywood puts famous names into the sidewalk and lets everybody walk on them.
- 3 weeks ago52 min
TCND: CHALK Full of Good Life Advice (Read the Room!)
Welcome, Neighbor! John is a big fan of Comedian Brian Reagan, and it turns out he can teach us something about apologetics. And speaking about off-the-cuff interactions between Christians and non-believers, a woman who wants to be famous for her chalk drawings decided to put a Nice Christian on blast this week. So a Not Nice Christian showed up. (Cue the Peaches.) LATER: Awkward Atheists don't know what "kindness" looks like, but we have even more examples of social awkwardness. Help us reform the Group Text Ettiquette, Neighbor! Contact the Comedian Next Door at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com and let us know if you click "thumbs up" in a group thread, even AFTER THE ADMIN SAID NOT TO RESPOND TO THE TEXT.
- 3 weeks ago1h 4m
Riff 103 - Goodbye Dolly, Important TV Theme Songs, Take Your Dog To Work and Menard's
We go rummaging through the cultural attic, starting with TV theme songs from the ’80s and ’90s—the kind that apparently occupied permanent brain space while more practical information was evicted. That leads us to movies, music, horror franchises, familiar actors, and the peculiar nostalgia that makes an old theme song instantly recognizable decades later. Then somebody famous dies, and the internet demonstrates that grief is also a competitive event. We get into the rush to update Wikipedia, the speed of celebrity death reporting, and the emotional connection people have to entertainers they knew only through screens and speakers. From there, we turn to pets in stores and other public spaces, where the old rules of pet etiquette seem to be undergoing negotiations. We also take on modern art and the argument over whether it reflects cultural decay, confuses the purpose of art, or simply gives everybody something else to argue about. Finally, we arrive at dental visits and appointment scheduling, because everyday life remains a dependable source of comedy without requiring a screenplay.
- 4 weeks ago54 min
TCND: An Educational Episode about Everything (Toad Holes and Fishing Boundaries)
This is a very eduational episode in which we share the many things we learned recently. Lakes (and rivers) with funny names? We got that! Fun facts about toads? We've got that, too! THEN: We discuss the perils of learning to drive a vehicle with a standard transmission, and at some point Luke shares his anxiety about grass that's too long. AND: We make a recommendation for a video almost-guaranteed to teach your toddlers their letter sounds! LATER: We actually get down to a little business and talk about the necessity of mockery as part of a human's education. And speaking of education, do you know what 4-year-olds were learning in Shakespeare's day?!?! Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
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