228. The Surprising Problem With Trying to Be Secure: Attachment, Parts Work & Emotional Honesty with Dr. Marisa G. Franco

What happens when trying to be more secure (on the surface) backfires? This week, Dr. Alison talks with Dr. Marisa Franco, about her new book, Worth. They explore a different way to think about anxious and avoidant attachment, the surprising science of how old memories continue to shape our present relationships, and why healing doesn’t require making someone else the villain. They also talk about grief, empathy, and a powerful experience Marisa had in therapy that changed how she understood the parts of herself she had spent years trying to hide. In this episode, you’ll learn: *A different way to understand anxious and avoidant attachment *Why seemingly small moments can trigger surprisingly big reactions *The fascinating science of memory reconsolidation *What grief has to do with genuine empathy and closeness *The surprising overlap between attachment science, parts work, and spiritual healing About Dr. Marisa G. Franco: Dr. Marisa G. Franco is a psychologist, professor, and New York Times bestselling author of Platonic. Her new book is Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. More Resources: Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment—available wherever books are sold Dr. Marisa G. Franco  Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, ⁠The Secure Soul⁠.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠ Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AquaTru - Shower Head - Right now, my listeners can get 20% off AquaTru Shower at AquaTruShower.com with promo code SHBESTOFYOU. It also comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee. That’s AquaTruShower.com, promo code SHBESTOFYOU (yes, the S-H is intentional). *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices