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by Swordboys
We're talking about your favorite sword movies! Your childhood comes alive as we break down these movies cut by cut.
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Call Officer Big Mac, because we are about to lock Big Howard up for crimes against screenwriting in the final cut of Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell! A depressed Niceas is captured and put through the gentlest interrogation. The Warriors are slurping through nature's straws and having a hard time adjusting to modern society. Mirinda returns only to have her fate sealed in a blanket (since there's no aluminium foil). Troxartes is having the time of his life until he has a final battle with Deathstalker through every single room in his castle. But so much is at stake because you all remember the importance of the magic stones, right? And, hey guys? You've been waiting for it...Pyron is back!!!Runtime: 00:56:35 - ENDNEXT UP: DEATHSTALKER IV: MATCH OF TITANS
Potatoes! They are what WE eat in Cut 2 of Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell! Deathstalker is popular with the ladies as always - he gets to horse-shack it up with Mirinda the potato farmer's daughter, squabble with Elizena: Whinier Princess and fail repeatedly to seduce Camisarde. Meanwhile, Troxartes is just serving fits, giving Bela Lugosi eyes, and bringing Madame energy. Slay queen.Runtime: 00:28:24 - 00:56:35
We're trying something new, here is a snippet of e of our episodes over on patreon where we allow the wheel to choose our net movie. Spoilers, it's Highlander 3! Join in todaypatreon.com/swordboys to sign up today for HOURS of other movies we can't cover in the main feed.
Grab a Corona, because we're headed to Mexico for the third installment in Rick's Revenge Season! Big Howard is back and he brought a lot of original ideas like our hero having a magical friend who holds on to his cup, an evil wizard conspiring with a hot lady, a magic gem, twin princesses with wildly different attitudes, pools of water to spy on the protagonists, and locations seen in other movies! Is this the worst Deathstalker, or will this movie redeem itself by the end? Find out in Cut One of DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL!(Disclaimer: not as exciting as the title or poster suggest)Runtime: 0:00:00 - 00:28:24
Soup's on! Cut 3 of Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans starts with a SwordBoy staple. A lackluster swordfight follows, but at least we get to go to Jarek's sex rave after. One epileptic sex scene later, Deathstalker and Bachelor Party head into the castle, where Deathstalker has an extended meeting with Bachelor Party 2.This all leads to a huge battle between Jarek's guards and the Amazonians, and a pretty great final battle between our problematic fave and his foppish nemesis.NEXT UP: DEATHSTALKER III: THE WARRIORS FROM HELLRuntime: 00:51:03 - END
Is that your sword or are you just happy to see me? The Swordboys return for Cut 2 of Deathstalker II, where they learn never to accept a collect call from a prison or an evil sorcerer. From there, we go to a spooky graveyard with zombies, questionable grave markers, and a garbage masher kept in a mausoleum. After escaping that, Deathstalker is captured by Amazonians who put our womanizing hero on trial...by combat! No mercy! Will Deathstalker win the All-Valley Tournament against the mighty Gorgo? Not the hair! Not the hair!Runtime: 00:25:14 - 00:51:03
After a rough start, the Deathstalker franchise gets a little sassier in Cut One of DEATHSTALKER II: DUEL OF THE TITANS. That's because Clunk Cheesechest has regenerated like the Doctor and upgraded to Banter McSword. This guy has almost as many kills as he does quips, and that might make up for the fact that most of the actors, costumes, sets, establishing shots and sometimes even parts of scenes are recycled from the original! Watch Indiana Solo and Bachelor Party (and Clompy of course) escape superninjas, pirates and a team of legendary henchmen on the road to defeat a banana-fellating doppelganger, a babe with a grudge, and an evil sorcerer (is there any other kind?)! The Swordboys are reenergized by this sequel and we haven't even gotten to the Jimmy Eat World of this five-movie run! Hey, don't write yourself off yet!Runtime: 00:00:00 - 00:25:14
Let's get ready to rumble! It's tournament time! This is what the movie has been building to, right? Or was it rescuing the Princess? Oh wait, collecting all the items of power?? The Swordboys are not very sure. There is a lot of fighting. We're not sure if it's all happening at the same time or if we are seeing it in badly-edited snippets. But the real fight is the one in Deathstalker's chambers. He and Tankini wrestle on his bed, as Tankini tries to reach for his sword. Then he has to fight He-Ham to win the tournament where the prize is you get to be the heir to an immortal being. After a fight with Kang (or was it Kang?) and a totally checked-out Jamie Madrox, we reach the epic conclusion of our first Deathstalker movie! Runtime: 00:50:47 - THE ENDNEXT UP: DEATHSTALKER 2: DUAL OF THE TITANS
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