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by Swordboys
We're talking about your favorite sword movies! Your childhood comes alive as we break down these movies cut by cut.
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Cue guitar peel! The Swordboys have finally arrived to the last of the trials Rick has put his cohosts through: Deathstalker! Wait? Again? No, this is the reboot/legacyquel/remake from 2025! Now being piloted by a competent writer/director! Big Howard is gone, but we still have a cave garden of Lil Howards to entertain us! And our hero returns - more beefier AND charismatic than the OG - and soon learns that some days you just can't get rid of an amulet! Are two heads better than one? Tune in to find out!Runtime: 0:00:00 - 00:25:23
Deathstalker's plan to honey trap Princess Kana with the pent-up juices of Vaniat works even though the tournament breaks down into drunken chaos. Dionara reveals to the surprise of absolutely no one that she is a princess, and tells her secret tale through the magic of using footage from a different movie. After facing Kana's rack, Deathstalker and the rest of the living combatants face an onslaught of stoned warriors whose bodypaint is mildly convincing. Fire happens randomly, Deathstalker inhales yet another princess's face, and cut to credits.Runtime - 00:50:49 - ENDNEXT UP: DEATHSTALKER (2025)
Yet another tournament begins in Cut 2 of Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans. Too much clanging causes Eldoron to get stoned in Princess Kana's quarters, Generic has to get into a cat fight using her fabled scissor attack. Dionara straight-up kills a girl, and Deathstalker has a hogshead of trouble in his fight with Vaniat, but nothing prepares us for Deathstalker and Dionara having to teach Vaniat how to be a gentleman. Get ready for a shopping montage!Runtime - 00:26:22 - 00:50:49
Corman and Cohen pull up their Argentinian stakes and head to Bulgaria (The Hollywood of Eastern Europe) to celebrate the fall of communism in DEATHSTALKER IV: MATCH OF TITANS. Rick Hill (the OG DS) makes his triumphant return, while younger versions of himself fight off marauders and little lion men. Strangely enough, he gathers new friends to fight in a tournament and help a princess reclaim her kingdom. Didn't we watch this already? Swordboy Rick is starting to sweat as we hear him muttering “I don’t know how much longer I can drag this out..." Robin spends his time examining diameters and milk fights while Jonathan starts to think about his daily regimen and conserving his vital juices. Yeah, we're still watching these things...Runtime: 00:00:00 - 00:26:22
Call Officer Big Mac, because we are about to lock Big Howard up for crimes against screenwriting in the final cut of Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell! A depressed Niceas is captured and put through the gentlest interrogation. The Warriors are slurping through nature's straws and having a hard time adjusting to modern society. Mirinda returns only to have her fate sealed in a blanket (since there's no aluminium foil). Troxartes is having the time of his life until he has a final battle with Deathstalker through every single room in his castle. But so much is at stake because you all remember the importance of the magic stones, right? And, hey guys? You've been waiting for it...Pyron is back!!!Runtime: 00:56:35 - ENDNEXT UP: DEATHSTALKER IV: MATCH OF TITANS
Potatoes! They are what WE eat in Cut 2 of Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell! Deathstalker is popular with the ladies as always - he gets to horse-shack it up with Mirinda the potato farmer's daughter, squabble with Elizena: Whinier Princess and fail repeatedly to seduce Camisarde. Meanwhile, Troxartes is just serving fits, giving Bela Lugosi eyes, and bringing Madame energy. Slay queen.Runtime: 00:28:24 - 00:56:35
We're trying something new, here is a snippet of e of our episodes over on patreon where we allow the wheel to choose our net movie. Spoilers, it's Highlander 3! Join in todaypatreon.com/swordboys to sign up today for HOURS of other movies we can't cover in the main feed.
Grab a Corona, because we're headed to Mexico for the third installment in Rick's Revenge Season! Big Howard is back and he brought a lot of original ideas like our hero having a magical friend who holds on to his cup, an evil wizard conspiring with a hot lady, a magic gem, twin princesses with wildly different attitudes, pools of water to spy on the protagonists, and locations seen in other movies! Is this the worst Deathstalker, or will this movie redeem itself by the end? Find out in Cut One of DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL!(Disclaimer: not as exciting as the title or poster suggest)Runtime: 0:00:00 - 00:28:24
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