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Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em Podcast: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em
a podcast from the outskirts of the zeitgeist www.smokeempodcast.com
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- 1 weeks ago29 min
282. The Allure of Sex with Non-Humans (NSFW)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.smokeempodcast.comNancy and Sarah talk about Wicker, the new fantasy-romance hit, and all the other blockbusters about loving non-humans: A Court of Thorns and Roses, Fifty Shades of Grey, plus the female empowerment anthems about singlehood sometimes made famous by, umm, married women. They also talk about why it’s so difficult to write and talk about real human-to-human sex. Sarah squicks out Nancy (again.)Also discussed:* Sarah wants more Richard E. Grant* Nancy wins with “Ode to Peanut Butter”* Everyone hates wicker furniture* Taylor Swift is the best memoirist of the 21st century* Steely Dan… wuh?* Dating shows are for women what fantasy football is for men* What’s wrong with Miley Cyrus’s “Flowers”? Discuss* Bunnies!Plus, young women and Instagram validation, the inanimate object Nancy would marry, hot boxes that could not be more opposite, and much more!Yes, Nancy’s sound is bad. But at least it’s bad in a different way! (We’re working on it) Don’t be lame. Become a paid subscriber.And now for an old school palate cleanser…
- 2 weeks ago50 min
281. France, Norm Macdonald, and the Abyss of History
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.smokeempodcast.comWhat’s going on in France? “Portlandx10,” Nancy texted Sarah, who misremembered it as “Portland x 1000.” Close enough! Things in France are wild, fast-moving — but where are things headed? The journo babes talk revolution: the Old School ones, American vs. French, the thwarted underground radical ones of the ‘70s (Weather Underground etc), and the incandescence of crowd violence. Nancy shares gripping on-the-ground stories from Portland circa 2020. Sarah references Hamilton.Also: Sarah has fallen for the ghost of Norm Macdonald — a hilarious, gorgeous, unavailable, self-hating, doomed genius? SIGN HER UP. Though Douglas Murray does get her hot in the pants (again, tragically, because he’s gay). Then Nancy gets steamy when Bobby Canavale is mentioned. Don’t get us started on Lafayette.Also discussed:* “Dumbolina”* Zee Francch, zey do not like zee Sarah* The Brits, they have a way.* “I think they’re just mad at their parents”* Peaceful vs. chaotic* “Everything is a doomed project”Plus, Nancy takes up “old lady” modeling, The Decemberist’s Colin Meloy is one cool dude, and Nancy loved You Can See Everything because of course she did!
- 4 weeks ago24 min
Reporter’s Notebook #2: Who She Took With Her
Another Reporter’s Notebook, about a feature article that more than any other exemplifies why you can never pre-decide what the story is. I still recall shaking when I got to my car after sitting with Nancy’s former husband in his office at USC and physically shaking as I told my editor, “The story is not what we thought it was. It’s who she took with her.” It appeared on the cover of the LA Weekly, and is reprinted below.A new Reporter’s Notebook every Sunday when you become a paid subscriberAlso discussed:* The five-year-old on acid in Joan Didion’s Slouching Towards BethlehemThe HMS Bounty, the bar where I sat with Alex (maybe this exact booth), Nancy’s sonYou can find fantastic stories everywhere. In Los Angeles, they verily run into your arms. Buy the book!Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup, by John Carreyrou“The Elizabeth Holmes Documentary, Through the Eyes of the Reporter Who Exposed Her,” by John Carreyrou (New York TimesWHO SHE TOOK WITH HER: The Husband, the Son, the Boyfriend… a Drunk’s Tale, by Nancy RommelmannOn December 12, 1948, Nancy Schorn was born into privilege. Her father was the chief financial officer of the plumbing conglomerate American Standard, and her mother was active in charitable work. The family lived on a five-acre estate on Long Island’s North Shore, in Cold Spring Harbor, a town not unlike Daisy Buchanan‘s West Egg: Nancy was a member of three yacht and country clubs, and, like Daisy, was considered by one admirer to have been “the most beautiful person I had ever seen . . . she had almost an aristocratic air of confidence and elegance.” She attended the college-preparatory Westover School for Girls, and later enrolled at Boston University, where she met and married an MIT engineering student who would go on to an esteemed career at USC. She lived in Europe. She had a son. Upon her parents’ deaths, she inherited a great deal of money.On December 29, 2000, Nancy was sleeping adjacent to a parking lot near the Santa Monica Pier, where she was run over by a first-time driver who claimed she swerved to miss a cat. Nancy suffered a compound fracture of the right leg, a crushed skull and the loss of an eye.Nancy was sleeping by the beach because she‘s homeless, and she’s homeless because she‘s a chronic alcoholic. For the better part of 20 years, she’s been one of Santa Monica‘s indigent population, one of the thousands of panhandlers you might pass by and think, What a dirtbag or, if you are feeling charitable, There but for the grace of God. While even the ungenerous among us understand that people wind up on the streets for myriad reasons, we do tend to distinguish them, perhaps in a bid at self-protection, as organically different from ourselves. The filth, the aimlessness, allow us to objectify them as “other” at best, disposable at worst.To most passersby, Nancy is little more than a fleeting sidewalk annoyance — toss her a quarter and forget about her. But what about those who don’t have the luxury of forgetting? Those who live with an intimate awareness of her past as well as her present? Those who tried to save her from herself, and who were abandoned by her? The pain Nancy has visited upon herself is exceeded, perhaps, by what she‘s visited upon others.“You don’t have a few bucks on you, do you?” Accepting a cigarette instead, Nancy tears off the filter while taking the summer sun in the concrete courtyard of Harbor Convalescent Hospital. At 100 pounds, she‘s a tiny thing, swimming in the only clothes she has, a pair of cut-off sweatpants and a baggy T-shirt with flowers on
- Oct 15, 202630 min
280. The Mask That Eats Into the Face
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.smokeempodcast.comNancy and Sarah talk about Kimberly Guilfoyle, media lightning rod and former ambassador to Greece (not Grease, because that’s Sarah’s gig). The journo babes talk plastic surgery, what is beauty, and Mar-A-Lago face. Then it's on to talking about AI, the future of writing—and civilization itself. Happy Thursday!Also discussed:* All 👏🏼 Amazon 👏🏼 Reviews 👏🏼 Matter 👏🏼 (except when they’re from bots, and maybe even then)* Mike Darnell was the Bill Schulz of reality TV* On re-hotting yourself* Peptides: Pixie dust for the body* Fake Emilia Hart, you get us! Also, WHO ARE YOU??* Nancy is not on the vibrator train* Hamish McKenzie, come on our pod. Let’s save media!* When your best friend in high school is the hot girl* Sarah’s book is the Plugra butter of the book world* “That person’s too hot to be a publicist”Plus, Sarah does her best Mr. Peanut impression, the 204th story in The Atlantic about AI scams, (EXCLUSIVE!) archival audio of Sarah telling Michael Moynihan her vibrator won’t turn off — and much more!Don’t be a bot. Become a paid subscriber.
- Oct 8, 202635 min
279. On Love, Spiraling Rage, and Ethereal Fashion
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.smokeempodcast.comNancy and Sarah are going to talk about L-O-V-E, and Nancy thinks she knows what it is, but Sarah (who just wrote a book on this topic) is pretty certain she can’t define what it is, nor can anyone, not in its many-tentacled forms.First the ladies talk French protests, a hunger for rage and then a documentary about designer John Galliano, who soared in the fashion heavens like few others and crashed down just as hard. A blackout-induced tirade on the (what else?) the Jews in 2011 turned him into a proto cancellation story. Sarah has thoughts! For that matter, so does Nancy. And who doesn’t love Kate Moss after this doc?Also discussed:* John Cusack, the right kind of sexy in Say Anything * “Pneumonic plague” not on our bingo cards* Nancy has a visceral reaction to wool spun from Wallace’s fur* Katie Herzog! Fifth Column! Meghan Daum! Laura McKowen! Sarah’s on fire.* “Nobody can sing that song because it’s meant to be thumped.”* The “small sweetness”: A debate!* Sarah on fashion: “You don’t get to play this game, Shorty.”* Nancy is the Kate Moss of this podcast?Plus, our best-ever Halloween costumes, Bridget Phetasy is Joe Rogan-ing, the first (only?) Meow-atarian candidate, and much more! John Galliano just launched a line with Zara. Girls like pretty dresses!Smoke ‘Em sends the biggest birthday wishes to the wondrous one, a.k.a., Nancy’s daughter. Tavie, we love you madly xx
- Oct 2, 202630 min
278. About the Cornell Campus Case
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.smokeempodcast.comNancy and Sarah talk about the Cornell case. Maybe you’ve heard about it? They talk about drinking and consent, college bacchanals, cultural rot, the weird dehumanization of technology and porn, and how we can point fingers in so many directions, but ultimately, your life is your responsibility.Questions on the table: What should the legal definition of rape be? How involved should colleges become in the private sex lives of their students? Are those students children — or adults? This is complicated business. Camille Paglia comes in and knocks some shit over on the table, because well, Aunt Camille. We love her, but she goes a little harder than Nancy and Sarah. We’re softer touches on this one.Also discussed:* The ‘00s went off the fucking rails* Sarah’s IQ drops plummets when she’s sprung for a guy … “Where is Mexico?”* Not gonna put my tongue on THAT third rail today …* “Dear colleague” → Title IX → kangaroo courts* Is Nancy a vampire? (Answer: Yes)* Sarah reads a letter from a former frat boy* “What about Skims!??”* Wallace’s first voluntary appearance on a video pod* Use lotion, start slow* Rick Muthaf*cking Rubin can narrate us into the apocalypsePlus, shout-outs to Yale and Bret Easton Ellis, the cigarette alto of Sarah’s audio book, the joy of Alamo Drafthouse, and much more!
- Sep 25, 202633 min
277. The Only Podcast There Is To Want
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.smokeempodcast.comNancy and Sarah talk about Sarah’s new legal name—“Pre-orders Matter”—and her memoir coming out September 29. But first! Nikole Hannah-Jones wrote an essay. Maybe you heard about it? The journo broads talk parenting, ideology, public confession and what it means to sacrifice for your child. * Y/N: Is mentioning you think Weinstein might have gotten a raw deal a good idea during book launch?* Katie Herzog is a smart cookie* The hard landing of overestimating your powers as a reporter* Stop asking what kind of skin care Nancy uses!* Who put you in charge?Plus, a photo of Sarah’s three loves, revealed! After the break.But first! But second! They really do…
- Sep 16, 20261h 27m
276. The Snobbery of Jonathan Franzen, Emmy Fashion Debate, and … LOVE
“You get at most one cliche per book,” the writer Jonathan Franzen said in a recent interview. Cue: Literary Twitter exploding. Snob! Hypocrite! But as Nancy and Sarah point out: Franzen is also awesome! And the journo babes love The Corrections and Freedom, etc. A discussion ensues about writerly rules (made to be broken) and the role of snobbery in the arts.The journo broads also debate Emmy fashion, including Emmy host Mariska Hargitay’s teen daughter in what Nancy sees as a cute dress and Sarah sees as … not that. Nancy shuts down a misery scammer taking advantage of the memory of our late friend Andrew Wimsatt. Please only refer to Nancy, from now on, as “Nancy Rommelmann, online avenger.” Sarah gives Nancy a pop quiz about her upcoming memoir (9/29/26), The Only Thing There Is to Want, which Nancy hasn’t read yet. Nancy gives Sarah a hard time for not having finished Nancy’s 2018 book To the Bridge, despite the fact that Sarah has had roughly eight years to do so.This is a FREE episode, so send it to TWO friends, who’ll send it to two friends …Also discussed: * The return of the goon cave* Do not f___ with Nancy’s people* Widow’s Bay FTW!!!* Oscar Isaac, Sarah’s boyfriend who is not Robert De Niro* Sex worker or sorority girl?* Metaphor debate!* Ellroy or Leonard: Who said it?* Paglia or Steinem: Who made the cut for Sarah’s book?* Sarah goes to a hen party, does not apologize for the stereotypePlus, the shadow side of second-wave feminism, Joan Didion gets it right, did Infinite Jest predict our AI doomscape? And much more!ALSO! Sarah is teaching a special 90-minute memoir-writing workshop on Sat., Sept. 26, 1pm ET / 10am PT, for the under-$100 cost of 3 pre-ordered books. Just email your receipt(s) to 3lovesmemoir@gmail.com, and you’ll get a Zoom link.More info on the memoir class here.For the cost of a freaking matcha latte, you could get this 90-min intimate-funny-smart chitchat in your ear holes every timeEpisode Notes:Matt and others remember Andrew Wimsatt, a gentle giant of a man“Anatomy of a Random, Unhinged Assault in Portland, City of Professed Benevolence,” by Nancy Rommelmann (RealClearInvestigations)Big congratulations to Nancy’s longtime friend Larry Karaszewski, whose producer-daughter Carver—whom Nancy last saw when she was eight-years-old—was part of the Widow’s Bay Emmy sweep. Soak it up, Dad!Nancy asked her daughter to weigh in on DressGate (picture below): “I was more attracted to Mariska, who is beautiful and sexy and amazing. Her daughter’s dress, I’m kind of neutral on. Plus they’re wearing matching dresses, which is sweet. We should all be so lucky. Just tell Hepola she’s a prude.”Sarah responds: “I am rubber, you are glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.” — The ManagementPre-order The Only Thing There Is to Want, because you have less than two weeks to listen to these plugs, so let’s celebrate.What’s in your hot box? Nancy: Murder in Paris ‘68: A True Story of Death and Glamour, by Edward ChisholmSarah: The White Album, by Joan Didion This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other
About Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em Podcast
a podcast from the outskirts of the zeitgeist www.smokeempodcast.com
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