Alcohol Was The Only Thing That Quieted My Anxiety — So I Drank Until I Blacked Out

From the outside, Zac Spowart had every reason to be fine — loving parents, a disciplined home, good grades, a heart-surgeon father. But from around 13, he was being crushed by an anxiety so severe he was physically sick, throwing up before school with no idea why. Then he found alcohol, and for the first time the chaos in his head went quiet. That relief became the problem. Zac is honest that his isn't a story of a traumatic childhood — it's proof that addiction doesn't discriminate, and that what's happening inside someone's head can be enough. Through high school and college he chased that quiet, drinking daily just to function, cycling through a minor-possession arrest and two DUIs. Then, at 21, came the moment that changed everything: driving drunk with his younger brother in the passenger seat, Zac flipped the car. His brother fractured his neck — an injury doctors said could have left him paralyzed or worse, and one he survived by something close to a miracle. (His brother went on to face his own battle with addiction, and is sober today too.) Zac takes complete accountability for that night, and he's unflinching about the fact that even it didn't get him sober right away. What finally did was jail, a hard-nosed judge, court-ordered treatment, and a 12-step program where — reading the first 64 pages of the Big Book on a couch with no phone — he finally heard his own thoughts in other people's stories. Now 19+ years sober, Zac is an addiction counselor with a master's in the field, a world traveler who's been to 50+ countries, and the author of a new book on self-acceptance and conscious relating. He's candid about the hard parts of long-term sobriety too — a divorce, a suicidal stretch a couple years back, an injury that took away the diving he loved — and how gratitude, service, and doing the work carried him through. Sponsored by Caron Treatment Centers My recovery journey began at Caron Treatment Centers, and the care I received there changed the course of my life. That's why I'm proud to partner with Caron. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, Caron has been helping individuals and families find hope and lasting recovery for nearly 70 years. They are in-network with all major insurance providers, and same-day admission is available. ➡️ Learn more: https://www.caron.org/lp/rise-above 📞 Call Caron today: 855-352-0103 Recovery starts with taking the first step. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices