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by Jeff Cook
A Chapter by Chapter break down of important books for those who study the Enneagram.
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In this episode of The Reading Room, Jeff continues through Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart with Chapter 12, “Places We Go When We Feel Wronged.”We begin with anger: Is it a primary emotion, or is it often an indicator pointing toward something deeper—grief, betrayal, fear, shame, disappointment, or pain?This time, we follow Brown through contempt, disgust, dehumanization, and hate, asking what happens when the experience of being hurt begins separating us from other people. Along the way, Jeff brings the Enneagram, the ethics of Jesus, and questions of prejudice and human dignity into the conversation.Lastly, we turn to self-righteousness and the danger of becoming so convinced of our own rightness that we lose curiosity, connection, and compassion. Anger can be a catalyst—but what would it mean to transform the pain of being wronged into something life-giving: courage, love, justice, compassion, and meaningful change?
In this episode of Around the Circle, Jeff continues through Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, looking at the places we go when life is good: joy, happiness, calm, contentment, gratitude, relief, and tranquility. Along the way, he asks a bigger philosophical question: What if these emotions don’t simply describe how we feel, but offer clues about what human beings are made for?This time, Jeff brings Brown into conversation with Aristotle, Socrates, Jesus, Aquinas, and C.S. Lewis, contrasting momentary pleasure with a much richer vision of happiness as human flourishing. Aristotle’s eudaimonia, Aquinas’s union with the highest good, and the Beatitudes all point toward happiness as something deeper than favorable circumstances.Lastly, we turn toward gratitude, foreboding joy, and tranquility—and the practices that help us build a life characterized by wisdom, moderation, virtue, and joy. What habits spiral us upward? And what if the best life isn’t simply one that feels good, but one in which our character truly flourishes?
In this episode of Around the Circle, Jeff continues through Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, exploring the places we go when the heart is open: love, lovelessness, heartbreak, trust, betrayal, defensiveness, flooding, and hurt.This time, we’re asking what it actually means to open our hearts to another person. Why does love require vulnerability? How should we think about trust and boundaries? What makes something a betrayal? And what happens when different Enneagram types bring radically different strategies to conflict?Lastly, we turn toward heartbreak and hurt—and the courage required to simply say, “My feelings are hurt.” Opening our hearts always carries risk, but perhaps that vulnerability, paired with wisdom, is part of what makes deep relationship possible in the first place.
In this episode of Around the Circle, Jeff continues through Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, exploring the places we go when we search for connection: belonging, fitting in, insecurity, invisibility, disconnection, and loneliness.This time, we're not just talking Enneagram, but Spiral Dynamics, and Aristotle’s three kinds of friendship—asking what separates relationships built around usefulness or pleasure from those rooted in genuine care for one another’s growth. This episode explores why authentic belonging requires both a strong relationship with ourselves and the vulnerability to be truly known by others.Lastly, it turns toward loneliness and the importance of investing not simply in more relationships, but in a few relationships of real depth: people who see us, know us, challenge us, and genuinely care about who we are becoming.
What happens when falling short becomes a verdict about who we are?In this episode of the Reading Room, Jeff continues through Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, exploring shame, guilt, humiliation, embarrassment, perfectionism, and self-compassion. We look at Brown’s distinction between “I did something bad” and “I am bad,” why empathy can disrupt shame, and how perfectionism can turn achievement into a measure of our worth.The conversation also pushes into Enneagram territory: Do different types experience shame differently? When does healthy striving become perfectionism? And if we are not what we accomplish, where should we locate our value?A conversation about failure, empathy, connection, achievement, and learning to make room for being imperfect.
Empathy is harder than we think.In this episode of Reading Room, Jeff continues through Chapter 7 of Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart, exploring the emotional landscape of compassion, empathy, pity, sympathy, boundaries, and comparative suffering.Along the way, Jeff connects Brown's research with Aristotle, Wittgenstein, Buddhist thought, and the Enneagram, asking what it actually means to accompany another person in pain without trying to fix, rescue, or distance ourselves from them.The conversation explores why empathy is a skill rather than an instinct, why compassion requires both courage and restraint, how pity and sympathy quietly undermine connection, and why healthy boundaries are an essential part of loving others well. Jeff also reflects personally on how these themes challenge him as an Enneagram One and considers whether genuine maturity requires moving from individual achievement toward shared human experience.Join us for the live Reading Room discussion each Tuesday at AroundtheCircle.org
Connect with us: HERE_______Hope. Courage. Grief. Longing.Continuing through Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart, Jeff explores what happens when suffering changes not just how we feel, but how we imagine the future. Why does despair convince us tomorrow will look exactly like today? Why is being unseen in our suffering one of the loneliest human experiences? And why does returning to our center matter so much when life becomes disorienting?At the heart of the discussion is a simple conviction: hope is not naïve optimism. It is the fuel that gives courage something to run on—and perhaps the beginning of every meaningful recovery.
Join our weekly Reading Room discussions and workshops at : www.aroundthecircle.orgWhy are contradictory emotions so uncomfortable—and why might they actually be signs of growth?In this Reading Room episode, Jeff explores Chapter 5 of Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart through the lens of the Enneagram. From bittersweetness and nostalgia to cognitive dissonance and paradox, the conversation examines why mature people learn to hold tension rather than rush toward certainty.Drawing on philosophy, psychology, and the Enneagram, this episode explores intellectual humility, reflection versus rumination, and the surprising wisdom found in ambiguity.#Enneagram #BreneBrown #AtlasOfTheHeart #PersonalGrowth #SelfAwareness
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