Episode 17: Jessica Tagler

Sheila Chester [00:00:00]:All right, Jessica, why don't we just get started having our conversation? Can you tell me tell me who your family is?Jessica Tagler [00:00:08]:My family is my son King, who is twelve, and my daughter Ajana, who will be 17 this month, and my dog Jack. Jack, who I love dearly.Sheila Chester [00:00:20]:Do you have any, like, close friends or family where you live?Jessica Tagler [00:00:25]:So my sister is not far from me, my sister Genevieve. My friends are not close, however, but they did just fly in to see me last weekend all the way from South Dakota and New Mexico. So I've got amazing friends, but they're not close to me.Sheila Chester [00:00:41]:They do love you, don't they? I see your Facebook feed all the time. You guys spend probably three weekends a year or more together, don't you?Jessica Tagler [00:00:50]:Oh, yeah, we try to, definitely.Sheila Chester [00:00:53]:Why don't we dive into that friendship? Because you guys have all been connected through some interesting circumstances your entire lives.Jessica Tagler [00:01:00]:Yeah, absolutely. How long have you known them? More than 30 years. I think it starts in the fourth grade. Long time. We've been through a lot together. We have experienced some pretty amazing things together, and they've experienced amazing things in their lives, and it's just been quite a journey with all of them.Sheila Chester [00:01:27]:So how did your journey as a mother start?Jessica Tagler [00:01:31]:Well, as a biological mother, it started when I was 17. I had gotten pregnant in high school with my daughter Allison, who just celebrated her 25th birthday. It's fine, it's fine. She came along actually my senior year, about three months before I graduated high school. And I ended up giving her up for adoption. And we reconnected when she turned 18. She looked me up on Facebook and was able to find me by looking up my name, but it had been a closed adoption for 18 years. I had no idea where she was living. I was corresponding with her adoptive family through an adoption agency in South Dakota, and so I would see pictures and get letters and such, but I finally got to see her or talk to her through text messaging when she turned 18. We have yet to talk on the phone and we have yet to meet slowly but surely. And I'm just waiting for her whenever she's ready.Sheila Chester [00:02:38]:Doing the closed adoption and not really knowing how she's doing. So how did you get through that time?Jessica Tagler [00:02:47]:It was extremely emotional time, especially right after she was born. I did have the support of my mom always, which was good, and my friends. But I think just receiving those letters and pictures and knowing in my heart of hearts that she was doing very well, it was a good feeling just to know that she was being well taken care of. And she said, thank you for giving me such a good life. I have had a great life, and thank you so much for giving birth to me because there was a point, a very short point in time where I was considering an abortion just because of the guilt and shame and fear that's associated with teen pregnancy. But by the grace of God, that did not happen, and she was very grateful for that as well.Sheila Chester [00:03:38]:I'm going to tell this cute little story. I remember when you were pregnant in high school. We went to high school together because we did this prom dress exchange, and you were probably seven or eight months pregnant and trying on all of the dresses in Miss Cavell's room and just laughing hysterically. And the joy. I'll never forget that day, just like I did not see the shame in your face. You were always laughing. You're always laughing. That's wonderful.Jessica Tagler [00:04:18]:Mrs. Philvell was a huge also support system during that whole time. She was very light hearted teacher, and she really gave me good advice. And she'd always say, every time I was complaining because I did that quite a bit, she would say, Jessica, you're just pregnant. That's only thing that's wrong with you. And I'm like, I don't feel good. No, you're just pregnant. She was amazing. Love her.Sheila Chester [00:04:45]:What was your experience with the rest of the school? Because it was a really small school that we went to and a really small town, so there's no secrets. You can't keep secrets.Jessica Tagler [00:04:55]:Well, everyone was very kind to my face, but when you are a young girl that's pregnant in high school, there's always that gossiping, especially in a small school, gossiping, talking behind your back, making their judgments. And of course, nobody did it to me, but there's always just that stigma that goes with it, you know what I mean? I was very grateful for the people that were close to me during that ti