Cheryl Barker: A single parents journey of fostering over 100 children

Hi, I'm Sheila Kay Chester, and I'm excited to welcome you to the Racing Grace podcast. As a mother of three, I do not know what I am doing. I know firsthand the joys and challenges that come with raising Children in today's world. But I don't know if I'm doing it the right way on this podcast. I sit down with parents and professionals of all walks of life to talk about everything from the latest parenting trends to navigating difficult situations with our kids. We'll cover it all from the highs to the lows and provide you with valuable insights and maybe even some advice that would work for you and your own family. So whether you're a new parent, a seasoned veteran or just someone interested in learning more. Join me on the Raising Grace podcast. Hey, all in this episode, we will hear from Cheryl Barker. Cheryl is a foster and adoptive parent who has dedicated her life to helping Children in need of stability and care from overcoming personal health challenges while taking care of her special needs Children to navigating the complexities of the foster care system. Cheryl has experienced it all along the way. She has learned valuable lessons about giving herself grace while supporting the emotional needs of the Children in her care. Join us as Cheryl shares her inspiring journey and provides insights into the realities of the foster care system. Oh, who is your family that you live with? Who are the people that you consider your family? Oh, ok. Uh I'm a single parent of three adopted kids, three long term kids and I took guardianship of three. And then I also have, uh, former foster kids that be back into my life and need a leg up. And so I'm trying to be there for them too. So right now it's just currently, Shane is 24. Soon to be 25. Tyler just turned 16 in November. He lives here and I have a 17 year old adopted son. He has been in treatment for three years and he graduated from high school January and he's going to start job Corp next month. That's great. Congratulations, mom. You did it. So you, the reason I wanted to interview you is because you have, I remember when you started to foster kids and that wasn't a thing that a lot of people did in our, in our small town so that you were the one that kind of taught me about adoption because I didn't know what that was before. Oh, yes. So how, when did you start adopting and why, or fostering? And why did you start doing that. Ok, I started, uh, well, I first started teaching down on the reservation and 19 89 1 of my students was being abused. So I had called social services and they came and interviewed her and after they were done interviewing the social worker came in and said, ok, we just need to fill out this paperwork and da da da and I'm like, what, what, what are you, what, wait, wait, what, what are you talking about? And she says, well, so, and so said she's gonna come live with you and I'm like, uh, that, that can't happen. Um, she can't come live with me. I, I'm making $800 a month wages and my propane bill is $400 wages. And I still have to call my parents to help me out in between because I'm living in this rickety old trailer house that sucks up the gas bills. And so anyway, she was very, very bummed. So then I got out of the reservation and moved to my hometown and I said, well, I've always wanted to be mother of lots of Children. And if I wasn't an, a parent by 30 I was going to foster. Well, then the end of July, I had one girl for approximately a week from out of town and then August 12th, 1993 I get a phone call. I take a brother and sister and I'm like, sure I can do this and I was working down at Nelson's as a summertime evening cook and the social worker showed up with these two kids and my mouth, I'm sure I kept stepping on it because my mouth just dropped open and I'm like, what did I do this time? So I'm like, ok, ok, so I got these two very, not real clean kids and they gave me these biggest hugs and these very thick, thick glasses. And the first thing Conrad said, are you going to be my new mom? I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa I said you're gonna stay with me for a while. Well, can I call you mom? I said, no, you can't call me mom. You can call me Cheryl. So the next week their attorney came and interviewed them and there she was getting ready to leave and she asked the kids, do you, do you have any questions? And Conrad beeped up and said, yes, can I call her mom now? And the social worker says, well, I don't see why not. I said, well, this is supposed to be a short term thing. And uh she said, well, I don't think it, it matters if, if you're comfortable with it. And I'm like, ok, so that was 30 years ago and he's still calling me mom. I remember Conrad. He was so he was one of your first placements. Yeah, Conrad and Autumn. Ok. I have Shannon for like five days, but that was just k