Accepting Uncertainty and Letting Go with Emily Bloom, Professor and Author of I Cannot Control Everything Forever

Hi, SweetSmarties! I got to interview Emily Bloom this month! I met her last month at my college reunion in New York, because she teaches at my alma mater! She started there after I graduated, so I didn’t get to formally study with her as an undergraduate, but I did get to participate in the seminar she taught during my reunion, The Pregnancy Plot: Conceptions and Misconceptions. She introduced us to her book, I Cannot Control Everything Forever, which I subsequently read in its entirety to prepare for our interview. :) The title really resonated with me, because I try very hard to control so much of my life! A big part of our interview deals with accepting uncertainty, and learning to let go when we have no other option, embracing possibility, while also understanding that wondering about the paths we didn’t take is part of being human. It’s really hard to choose among majorly diverging routes, like whether or not to have children, which we discuss heavily in this episode. There are some aspects of our lives that we can never be completely sure we made the right, best choice for ourselves, and even more challengingly for other people, especially those who depend on us. Emily is actually really interested in the idea of uncertainty, and our conversation about how we navigate these significantly influential decisions was so helpful, fascinating, and empathetic, so I hope our discussion benefits you a lot too. 💜We talk about why she wanted to be a parent, which is a really important question I think everyone considering parenthood should contemplate! We cover genetic testing, and go into certain medical challenges her daughter faces, as well as touching upon mine. I was really interested in exchanging the perspectives of someone with dramatic childhood medical experiences and the caregiver of a child in that position, me being the former and her being the latter. We speak about disability in general, and what it was like for her to grow up with a disabled sibling, and in turn be raised in the disability community. One of my favorite topics we touched on throughout our time together is how disability, medical challenges, and just difficult experiences, beginning at a young age, shape us so positively! We really can choose a beautiful, beneficial, true frame for ourselves, while still acknowledging the hardships we encounter, because we genuinely feel grateful for this part of our lives, despite the difficulty involved. These ideas are so complex and multidimensional, they require a certain amount of mental flexibility to comprehend the various, sometimes contradictory, elements. I loved our conversation so much: she’s brilliant, kind, insightful, strong, and has many more gorgeous qualities I’m excited for you to hear! This interview was remote, since we were on opposite coasts when it happened, so not every word is audible unfortunately, and if you need clarification about anything we said, you can always reach out to me. 😇Thanks for listening, and I’ll reconnect with you next time! 🫧