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Perfect Prey: A Coercive Control Podcast: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola
Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Educator, Researcher, & Survivor. She has been an advocate since the age of 19, passionate about protecting children from abuse. Yet, even as a therapist, she didn't see the signs in her own relationship. How do we, as protective parents, support our children harmed by the coercive controller (aka Narcissistic Abuser)? Dr. Cocchiola's expertise provides the framework for supporting protective parents as they navigate parenting children harmed by the coercive controller. Protective parents can show their children a path to freedom.
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- 1 weeks ago35 min
The Hidden Impact of Trauma Across a Lifetime with Dr. Ann Burgess
DescriptionIn this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Ann Burgess, pioneering forensic nurse, researcher, educator, and author of Expert Witness. Ann’s groundbreaking work transformed how professionals understand trauma, victimization, sexual violence, and offender behavior. Her research has influenced criminal investigations, forensic psychology, victim advocacy, and some of the most well-known criminal cases in modern history.Together, we explore the long-term impact of trauma, why victims are so often disbelieved, and how systems continue to fail those who come forward. Ann shares insights from decades of work studying victims, offenders, serial violence, child abuse, and the psychology of coercion and control. We also discuss institutional betrayal, trauma responses in children and adults, family court failures, pornography, grooming, and what it takes to create meaningful change within systems that were never designed to fully protect victims.What we coverAnn Burgess’s pioneering work in victimology and forensic nursingHow trauma impacts behavior across the lifespanWhy victims are often disbelieved by systems and institutionsInstitutional betrayal and systemic failuresCoercive control, fear, and psychological abuseTrauma responses in children and adolescentsChild sexual abuse and delayed disclosureFamily court, victim credibility, and expert testimonyThe role of pornography and grooming in abusive behaviorThe Menendez case and evolving understandings of traumaWhy trauma-informed education is critical for professionalsHow offender thinking patterns develop and escalateWhy listenIf you are a survivor, clinician, attorney, advocate, educator, or protective parent, this episode offers a rare opportunity to hear from one of the most influential voices in trauma and victim research.Ann Burgess’s work helped shape how we understand trauma today. Her insights illuminate why victims respond the way they do, why systems often misunderstand those responses, and why meaningful reform requires us to listen more closely to survivors’ experiences.Guest BioAnn Burgess, DNSc, APRN, FAAN is an internationally recognized forensic nurse, researcher, educator, and author. She is a professor at Boston College and has spent decades studying trauma, victimization, sexual violence, serial offenders, and forensic mental health.Ann's groundbreaking research on rape trauma syndrome helped transform the understanding of victim responses to sexual assault. She has consulted with the FBI's Behavioral Science Unit, contributed to offender profiling research, and served as an expert witness in numerous high-profile cases.She is the author of several books, including Expert Witness, which chronicles her work at the intersection of trauma, criminal behavior, and justice.Connect with Ann BurgessBook: Expert Witnesshttps://www.amazon.com/stores/Ann-W.-Burgess/author/B0H13DQXPP?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_3&qid=1780604748&sr=1-3&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=9489809f-1ae4-4998-b8db-a0cbcc536d23Boston College Faculty Profile: https://www.bc.eduConnect with Dr. ChristineProtective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Dr. C’s Community: https://go.drcocchiola.com/innercirclecommunityOfficial site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalks:
- 3 weeks ago25 min
Why Traumatized Children Are Often Misunderstood
In this solo episode of Perfect Prey, Dr. Christine Cocchiola explores the connection between coercive control, childhood trauma, attachment, and the growing number of children being diagnosed with ADHD and other behavioral disorders. Dr. Cocchiola challenges listeners to consider a critical question: what if many of the behaviors we label as “problematic” are actually trauma responses? What if children living within coercively controlling family systems are being misunderstood rather than truly seen?Drawing from the work of Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Gabor Maté, Dr. Bruce Perry, and betrayal trauma theory, this episode examines how trauma can manifest as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses in children — and how coercive control fractures attachment, identity, safety, and regulation. Dr. Cocchiola also discusses how predatory parents weaponize children, how attachment is intentionally disrupted, and why protective parents play such a critical role in healing and rebuilding safety for their children.What we coverThis episode is essential listening for protective parents, clinicians, educators, advocates, and anyone trying to better understand trauma, child behavior, and coercive control.How trauma can mimic ADHD symptomsFight, flight, freeze, and fawn trauma responses in childrenCoercive control within family systemsHow predatory parents fracture attachment intentionallyWhy dysregulated children are often misunderstoodAttachment, authenticity, and child developmentTrauma, dissociation, and emotional regulationThe impact of coercive control on school performance and behaviorWhy children exposed to abuse may appear oppositional or disengagedProtective parenting and reigniting attachmentBroken attachment, broken safety, and “broken brain”How systems often pathologize traumatized children instead of protecting themWhy listenIf you are raising a child impacted by coercive control, navigating post-separation abuse, or working professionally with children and families, this episode offers a trauma-informed framework for understanding behavior through the lens of attachment and survival.Dr. Cocchiola invites listeners to shift away from asking “What’s wrong with this child?” and instead ask: “What happened to this child?” Connect with Dr. Christine:Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Dr. C’s Community: https://go.drcocchiola.com/innercirclecommunityOfficial site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks:https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who may need this conversation, subscribe to Perfect Prey, and leave a review — it helps other survivors and protective parents find support and validation.🩵— Dr. Christine Cocchiola
- May 8, 202647 min
Why Survivors Must Be Heard to Heal with Dr. Judith Lewis Herman
In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m honored to be joined by Judith Herman, one of the world’s foremost pioneers in trauma research and recovery.Dr. Herman is the author of the groundbreaking books Father-Daughter Incest, Trauma and Recovery, and Truth and Repair—works that fundamentally changed how we understand trauma, complex trauma, institutional betrayal, and survivor healing.Together, we discuss the origins of trauma theory, the women’s movement that brought survivor voices into public consciousness, the devastating lifelong impact of childhood abuse and coercive control, and why children living in unsafe family systems are so deeply affected—even when the abuse is not overtly physical.We also explore the ACEs study, attachment, institutional failures, protective parenting, intergenerational trauma, and the critical role of safe relationships in healing.This is an essential conversation for survivors, clinicians, advocates, educators, attorneys, judges, and anyone seeking a deeper understanding of trauma and recovery.What we coverThe origins of trauma and complex trauma theoryHow the women’s movement changed the understanding of abuseDr. Herman’s groundbreaking work on incest and child sexual abuseThe lifelong mental and physical health impacts of childhood traumaThe ACEs study and adverse childhood experiencesCoercive control, family violence, and child developmentIsolation as a tactic of abuse and coercive controlWhy children exposed to family violence are profoundly harmedProtective factors that help children heal from traumaAttachment, belonging, and the importance of safe relationshipsInstitutional betrayal and why survivors must be heardProtective parenting and rebuilding connection with childrenWhy listenIf you are a survivor, protective parent, clinician, advocate, educator, researcher, or legal professional, this episode offers foundational insight into trauma, coercive control, attachment, and recovery.Dr. Herman’s work helped shape the modern understanding of trauma and continues to guide how we think about healing, institutional accountability, and the long-term impact of childhood abuse.Guest bio (short)Judith Herman, MD, is a psychiatrist, researcher, professor, and internationally recognized pioneer in the study of psychological trauma. She is the author of Father-Daughter Incest, Trauma and Recovery, and Truth and Repair, groundbreaking works that transformed the understanding of trauma, complex PTSD, and survivor recovery.About Dr. Judith Lewis HermanGuilford Press: https://www.guilford.com/author/Judith-Lewis-Herman?srsltid=AfmBOopF18dr2S7Z0VoukbbZiSSvNFY7XqwmoLAmoT2OykKgsoR2T4fYWikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judith_Lewis_HermanPsychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/judith-l-herman-mdConnect with Dr. Christine:Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks: https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it,
- Apr 24, 202635 min
Greyson’s Choice: Ali Kessler’s Mission to Protect Children
DescriptionIn this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Ali Kessler, founder of Greyson’s Choice, child safety advocate, and a powerful voice for prevention, awareness, and systemic change.Ali shares her deeply personal story of loss, resilience, and purpose—and how unimaginable grief became a mission to protect other children. Through Greyson’s Choice, Ali has transformed pain into advocacy, using her son Greyson’s legacy to create education, awareness, and meaningful change for families everywhere.This conversation is both heartbreaking and inspiring, highlighting what it means to carry love forward through action, courage, and protection.What we coverThe story behind Greyson’s ChoiceHonoring Greyson’s legacy through advocacyTurning grief into purpose and preventionWhy child safety awareness mattersSystemic gaps that leave children vulnerableSupporting families after trauma and lossCreating change through courage and communityWhy listenIf you are a parent, survivor, advocate, clinician, or someone navigating grief after trauma, this episode offers compassion, courage, and hope.Ali’s story is a reminder that even after devastating loss, love can still become action—and protection for others.Guest bio (short)Ali Kessler is the founder of Greyson’s Choice, a child safety advocacy organization created in honor of her son, Greyson. Through education, awareness, and reform efforts, she works to protect children, support families, and create lasting change in Greyson’s memory.Connect with Ali Kessler:Website: https://greysonschoice.orgInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/greysonschoice/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GreysonsChoiceLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/greysons-choice/posts/?feedView=allYouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjQd87p3UbsHmUWxVkxJlUwConnect with Dr. Christine Cocchiola:Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks:https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review — it helps other survivors find validation and safety.🩵— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Ali Kessler
- Apr 10, 202643 min
Children Are Not Witnesses: The Truth About Coercive Control with Emma Katz
DescriptionIn this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Emma Katz, criminologist and author of Coercive Control in Children’s and Mothers’ Lives. Emma is one of the leading researchers in the world examining how coercive control impacts children—not just as witnesses, but as direct victims navigating survival, attachment, and identity.Together, we explore how children experience coercive control in deeply complex ways, how abusers strategically target the mother-child bond, and why so many systems continue to misunderstand—or completely overlook—the perpetrator’s role.This conversation offers both profound validation and hope, highlighting the resilience of children and the critical role of protective parents in healing and recovery.What we coverWhy children are not “witnesses” but direct victims of coercive controlHow perpetrators strategically target and damage the mother-child relationshipThe three ways children experience abusive fathers: dangerous, “admirable,” and omnipresentHow manipulation, intermittent reinforcement, and fear shape children’s attachmentWhy children may align with the abusive parent—and why that is not a choiceThe psychological impact of coercive control on children’s identity, safety, and developmentThe resilience of children and the power of attachment with a protective parentWhat recovery can look like for families after coercive controlWhy listenIf you are a protective parent, survivor, clinician, or professional working with families, this episode offers essential insight into how coercive control shapes children’s experiences—and why traditional frameworks often get it wrong.Emma’s research brings clarity to what many families are living through, while also offering hope: children can heal, attachment can be rebuilt, and protective parenting matters more than anything.Guest bio (short)Emma Katz is a criminologist, researcher, and author specializing in coercive control and its impact on women and children. She is the author of Coercive Control in Children’s and Mothers’ Lives and writes extensively about domestic abuse, family dynamics, and systemic responses. Her work has been instrumental in shifting the understanding of children as active victims of coercive control rather than passive witnesses.Learn more about Dr. Emma KatzSubstack:https://substack.com/@dremmakatzOfficial Site:https://dremmakatz.com/Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/emmakatz_phdLinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-emma-katz-5b911865/YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx1f7_MhfCmVufMQS0ZPRjQX(twitter):https://x.com/DrEmmaKatzBook (Coercive Control in Children’s and Mothers’ Lives): https://www.amazon.com/Coercive-Control-Childrens-INTERPERSONAL-VIOLENCE/dp/0190922214/Connect with Dr. ChristineLinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-christine-marie-cocchiola-443a58204/Protective Parenting Program:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official site:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalk:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks:https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBook
- Mar 27, 202636 min
Jane Doe No More: Story of Survival and Accountability with Donna Palomba
DescriptionIn this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Donna Palomba, founder of Jane Doe No More and survivor of a violent home invasion and sexual assault that led to years of institutional betrayal.Donna shares her harrowing story—from surviving a brutal attack in her own home to being disbelieved, interrogated, and re-traumatized by the very system meant to protect her. What followed was a seven-year legal battle against law enforcement, uncovering systemic failures, bias, and the devastating impact of not believing victims.This conversation explores not only the trauma of the assault itself, but the profound harm caused by institutional betrayal—and the strength it takes to fight back, seek justice, and create change.What we coverDonna’s story of surviving a violent home invasion and sexual assaultThe immediate aftermath and failures in the investigative processInstitutional betrayal and being treated as a suspect instead of a victimThe long legal battle against law enforcement and systemic resistanceThe role of DNA evidence and delayed justiceHow perpetrators often live “double lives” and evade suspicionThe impact of statute of limitations laws on survivorsDonna’s advocacy work and the founding of Jane Doe No MorePrevention, education, and empowering communities to protect othersWhy listenIf you are a survivor, advocate, clinician, attorney, or protective parent, this episode offers a powerful and deeply emotional look at what happens when systems fail victims—and what it takes to hold those systems accountable. Donna’s story is both heartbreaking and hopeful, showing that even in the face of profound injustice, change is possible.Guest bio (short)Donna Palomba is the founder of Jane Doe No More, an organization dedicated to improving the way society responds to survivors of sexual crimes and advancing prevention education. After surviving a violent sexual assault and years of institutional betrayal, Donna became a leading advocate for victims’ rights, helping change laws and educate communities on safety, accountability, and survivor support.Learn more about Donna Palomba & Jane Doe No More:Website: https://janedoenomore.org/Book (Jane Doe No More): https://www.amazon.com/Jane-Doe-No-More/dp/1642939709Podcast (Jane Doe No More Podcast): https://janedoenomore.org/podcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/janedoenomore/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/janedoenomoreLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/jane-doe-no-more/Connect with Dr. ChristineProtective Parenting Program:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official site:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/Books:https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review — it helps other survivors find validation and safety.— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Donna Palomba
- Mar 13, 202642 min
Family Court Harm and Institutional Betrayal with Dr. Elizabeth Dalgarno
DescriptionIn this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Dr. Elizabeth Dalgarno, founder and director of the SHERA Research Group and lecturer in public health at the University of Manchester. Dr. Dalgarno’s work focuses on the global harms caused by family court systems and the institutional abuse experienced by women and children navigating these legal processes.Through SHERA’s groundbreaking research, Dr. Dalgarno and her international team have documented how family court engagement can produce profound health consequences for protective parents and children. Their studies reveal a disturbing pattern: when abuse is reported, mothers are frequently accused of “parental alienation,” their credibility is questioned, and the legal system often becomes an extension of the abuse rather than a source of protection.Together, we explore how coercive control continues after separation, how courts can become tools of post-separation abuse, and why the health impacts of family court trauma are still largely ignored by institutions responsible for protecting families.What we coverThe mission and global research of the SHERA Research GroupHow family court systems create institutional betrayal for survivorsThe health consequences of family court trauma for women and childrenThe “blueprint” pattern many protective parents experience after reporting abuseWhy parental alienation frameworks often silence abuse disclosuresThe concept of malicious fracturing of attachmentHow coercive control continues through legal systems after separationWhy systemic reform is necessary to protect children and survivorsWhy listenIf you are a survivor, protective parent, clinician, researcher, attorney, or advocate, this episode offers crucial insight into how family court systems can perpetuate harm rather than stop it. Dr. Dalgarno’s research provides evidence-based documentation of what protective parents have been saying for decades—and highlights why systemic reform is urgently needed.Guest bio (short)Dr. Elizabeth Dalgarno is the founder and director of the SHERA Research Group, a global collective studying the health impacts of institutional abuse within family court systems. She is a lecturer in public health at the University of Manchester, where she teaches global women’s public health and health system challenges. Her research focuses on the intersection of coercive control, institutional harm, and the health consequences experienced by women and children navigating family courts worldwide.Learn more about SHERA ResearchInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sherafamily_Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/sherafamilyBluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/sherafamilySubstack: Still Not Safe – Dr. DalgarnoConnect with Dr. ChristineProtective Parenting Program:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official site:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/Books:https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe to Perfect Prey, and consider leaving a review. Your support helps other survivors and protective parents find validation and clarity.— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Dr. Elizabeth Dalgarno
- Feb 20, 202626 min
The Weaponization of Children in Coercive Control
DescriptionIn this solo episode of Perfect Prey, I explore one of the most heartbreaking dynamics of coercive control: the weaponization of children.Children rely on their parents for safety, stability, and unconditional love. But when a predatory parent is operating within the family system, attachment can become fractured. Instead of growing up with secure connection, children are often indoctrinated into false narratives, exposed to subtle undermining, and pulled into loyalty binds they cannot cognitively or emotionally process.I explain how coercive control is the underpinning of all forms of abuse — psychological, legal, financial, physical, and emotional — and how, when an abuser can no longer control their partner, they often shift to controlling through the child.We’ll talk about:How attachment is formed — and how it can be fracturedWhy children may come home dysregulated, angry, or oppositionalHow subtle undermining and false narratives are plantedThe difference between alienation rhetoric and attachment fractureWhy predatory parents rely on retaliation and loyalty conflictsHow protective parents can create “roadblocks” to manipulationWhat it means to respond instead of react — even when you are traumatizedThis episode is especially for protective parents navigating post-separation abuse and family court dynamics. The reality is painful: children are often placed in impossible positions, forced into emotional roles they should never have to carry.But there are ways to respond differently.If you are watching your child struggle, unravel, or lash out after time with the other parent, this episode will help you understand what may be happening beneath the surface — and how to stay grounded in your role as the secure base.Protective parents are doing some of the hardest work there is. You are not alone.Connect with Dr. ChristineProtective Parenting Program:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official site:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/Books:https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode resonated, please share it with someone who needs this information, subscribe to Perfect Prey, and consider leaving a review. It helps other survivors and protective parents find validation and clarity.— Dr. Christine Cocchiola
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About Perfect Prey: A Coercive Control Podcast
Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Educator, Researcher, & Survivor. She has been an advocate since the age of 19, passionate about protecting children from abuse. Yet, even as a therapist, she didn't see the signs in her own relationship. How do we, as protective parents, support our children harmed by the coercive controller (aka Narcissistic Abuser)? Dr. Cocchiola's expertise provides the framework for supporting protective parents as they navigate parenting children harmed by the coercive controller. Protective parents can show their children a path to freedom.
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