Ask Better Questions: Reframing Failure, Rewiring Pain, and Choosing What Comes Next with Jeff Bliss

Peace, Love, and Bring a Bat Host: David Chametzky Guest: Jeff Bliss, Hypnosis Practitioner, Creator of PRTR, Poet, and Founder of Mindset Bliss What happens when failure is no longer evidence that you should quit—but instead becomes the very thing that points you toward success? In this powerful and highly practical episode of Peace, Love, and Bring a Bat, David Chametzky welcomes hypnosis practitioner and mindset specialist Jeff Bliss for a conversation about thoughts, choices, personal boundaries, emotional triggers, health, and the language we use to shape our lives. Jeff begins the episode by sharing his original poem, “Hailure,” which combines the words hail and failure. The poem reframes failure as a gift that may sting when it hits us but can also awaken new ideas, open mental doors, and reveal paths we could not previously see. The conversation then explores how our thoughts influence our actions and ultimately shape our outcomes. Jeff shares two memorable frameworks: BAR: Beliefs, Actions, Results TAO: Thoughts, Actions, Outcomes Both remind us that change begins internally. Our thoughts create beliefs, our beliefs influence our behavior, and our behavior helps determine the results we experience. Failure Is Not the Finish Line Jeff recounts speaking with a man who described himself simply as “a failure.” He believed failed relationships, career setbacks, fitness struggles, and disappointments had become his identity. Jeff challenges that thinking. Failure is something that happened. It is not who you are. Instead of treating setbacks as proof that success is impossible, we can begin asking what the experience is trying to teach us. Failure can shake loose new thoughts, create unexpected innovations, and force us to develop skills we would never have pursued while everything was comfortable. As Jeff explains, we can learn to collect failures and rejection like someone panning for gold—sifting through what did not work until we uncover what does. Ask a Better Question One of the episode’s central lessons is that the quality of our lives is often influenced by the quality of the questions we ask. Questions such as these tend to keep people trapped: “Why does this always happen to me?” “Why was I so stupid?” “Can I really do this?” “What if I fail?” Jeff recommends replacing “Can I?” with “How can I?” Instead of asking, “Can I get healthier?” ask: “How can I make one healthier choice today?” Instead of asking, “Can I become a speaker?” ask: “How can I practice speaking for one minute?” The first question invites doubt. The second instructs the mind to begin searching for solutions. The Power of “Yet” David and Jeff discuss the enormous influence of small words. “I can’t do it” becomes: “I can’t do it yet.” “I have never been good at public speaking” becomes: “Up until now, I haven’t been confident speaking publicly.” Jeff adds another important statement: “And now I choose…” “Up until now, I have feared public speaking, and now I choose to improve one percent at a time.” This language does not deny the past. It simply stops allowing the past to control the future. Choosing a New Identity Jeff shares his experience with cold-water exposure. After spending most of his life believing he could not tolerate the cold, he tried repeating the affirmation, “I love the cold.” His mind rejected it immediately. He then changed the statement to: “I choose to love the cold.” That small adjustment removed the internal argument. His subconscious could challenge whether he currently loved the cold, but it could not argue with his ability to choose. David connects this idea to his recent health experience. After doctors discovered serious arterial blockages and placed a stent, David made a clear decision to change his eating habits and prioritize his health. The lesson is not simply to hope circumstances improve. It is to make a choice, establish clear boundaries, and s