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Oz 9: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Gated Galaxies
It's Spring 2142 (a Tuesday), and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. Except this whole "terraform and take over" idea isn't actually the plan; the real plan is far more nefarious and involves a great deal of cackling. But those aboard the ships don't know that, so off they toodle (those that make it out of Earth's atmosphere, at least), all shiny and optimistic. This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.
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- Sep 13, 202620 min
BONUS: The Garden of Gods' Retirement
So, turns out our horny —sorry, "horned" — romantic Pluto has siblings. And like all siblings, they're annoying, disruptive, omniscientish, and likely to go darting off through space at something approaching light speed just to show off in front of YOUR girlfriend. Ok, those last two might apply more to Pluto's sibs than yours. Whatever the case, they hog all the ambrosia, snap your privates with a lightning bolt when you least expect it ... yeah, I hear it, that might be more Pluto's sibs than yours too, but you get my point — annoying.And like all siblings, they expect all the plebes to worship the very ground they walk on. Even if that ground was the plebes' to start with.In this fabulous bonus episode penned by our own Pete Barry (we love that guy, even if we want to drown Bob in his own earwax), Pluto of the honey-covered voice and words returns to sweep Donna off on the kind of impromptu vacay that requires super powers and membership in the Valhalla of Fame. But their romantic sojourn is interrupted by Pluto's siblings, and things, rather like this description, unravel from there.You’ve been listening to: Lee Shackleford as Pluto Bonnie Brantley as Donna Chris Klaniecki as Mercury Rebecca Serfass as Diana Dave Stanger as MarsJ. Michael DeAngelis as Neptune Dave Serfass as Vulcan Pete Barry as Jupiter Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator.FX provided by Pete Barry and Freesound users, including:Zap! by BigKahuna: https://freesound.org/people/BigKahuna360/sounds/160421/ Motorbikes by madmini: https://freesound.org/people/madmini/sounds/192392/https://freesound.org/people/madmini/sounds/192394/https://freesound.org/people/madmini/sounds/192399/Rumble by unfa: https://freesound.org/people/unfa/sounds/258339/Booming by Filo_Rossi https://freesound.org/people/Filo_Rossi/sounds/342136/Volcano Rumble by morganpurkis https://freesound.org/people/morganpurkis/sounds/385098/Splash! by Inspector J https://freesound.org/people/InspectorJ/sounds/352102/Spaghetti Slither by saturdaysoundguy https://freesound.org/people/saturdaysoundguy/sounds/388029/Flying Drone by Sheyvan https://freesound.org/people/Sheyvan/sounds/470127/Eruption and Cartoon Pop by craigsmithhttps://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675740/https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/676000/Large wings by Cultureshock007 https://freesound.org/people/Cultureshock007/sounds/711122/Campfire by newlocknew https://freesound.org/people/newlocknew/sounds/730704/and Sonniss Fantasy Pack by Bluezone https://sonniss.com/gameaudiogdcSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- Aug 29, 202626 min
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: Aaron (heeeeee's baaaaaaaaack)
It's frankly annoying how much y'all have missed this guy (and yes, we get it, we missed him too). "When's LBF coming back?" We heard you cry. "Bring back the Frounch dude!" FINE.The silly meter just shot from 11 to infinity and you've no one to blame but yourselves.And of course, we're offering our standard apology to France and all French-speaking peoples and areas of the world for our continued and downright gleeful butchering of your glorious language and its many accents. All of which appear to be rolled into this one guy.Seriously, I just watched a parrot on TikTok who NAILED IT. But we've got ... LBF. Listen up, Space Monkeys, as Sarah Golding tries to glue the utterly delightful Aaron Clark to a chair and chat with the notorious Frounch fellow, the man who puts the double ass in assassin. Oh, and there's Ben. Remember Ben? Yeah, we didn't either, but now we're pretty sure he has something to do with Julie.Welcome back, le Bichon Frise!Pretty sure that's pronounced free-See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- Jul 24, 202643 min
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: Pete (we love that guy)
First, if you haven't listened to Mission: Rejected, seriously, do you read these notes EVER? We've mentioned that show a brazillion times, so just GO LISTEN ALREADY. Look, I'll even make it easy for you: here is their website (https://www.missionrejected.com/). Here it is on Apple podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mission-rejected/id1454748884) and on Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/5uhNkMlYaJmIg1GZU5LCl2?si=f62f29bb30cf4df3). There! Anything else I can do for you? Make you a sandwich, perhaps? Dust off your dainty toesies? Sheesh. Second, this is Sarah Golding and Pete Barry being all sorts of witty and fun. Enjoy.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- Jul 23, 202629 min
Interviews with your ever-lovin' Crew - Kevin
Hmmmmmm? Wazzat? Oh, hello, are you still here? Goodness, you are patient. Yes, season 7 is still in the works. Here's a little something to tide you over until it splooches messily into your timeline.This is one of those silly conversations between the glorious Sarah Golding and poor Kevin Hall (Greg, Felonius), who has died on Oz 9 more than anyone else, although not recently which may mean he's overdue.Ignorance Was Bliss podcast by Kate Wallinga who is most desperately missed: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ignorance-was-bliss/id1341566170See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- Jun 2, 20261h 0m
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: Tim and Chrisi
More 9ers because let's face it: little in life is as satisfying as someone else's world spiraling utterly out of control as they get deeper and deeper into a festering bog-swamp of bad decisions and regret.Tim has an excuse -- it was hard to see at the beginning how truly ridiculous this train wreck was going to be. Chrisi joined up after it was abundantly clear that was a bad idea. We can only attribute it to pie-eyed optimism. Anyway, listen up as Tim Sherburn (Colin and Emily) and Chrisi Talyn Saje (Julie) attempt to explain how they got entangled in all this nonsense. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- May 1, 20261h 2m
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: David and Bonnie
Well, I'd say the fun never ends with this crew, but in truth, empires have risen, fallen, risen again, fallen again, and risen a third time to cries of "good god, will you just stay dead" and we're all still waiting for the fun to START. But these two are modestly entertaining, if you're feeling relaxed, have some good wine, and have recently been on the sharpish end of an icepick to the brain.Just... listen. What else are you going to do? It's not like you have pressing business to attend to, now is it?It's Sarah Golding, chatting with David S. Dear (and Dr. Theo Bromae ((*swoon*)) and Tiberius) and Bonnie Brantley (and FORMER Captain Jessie, Donna, and Lady Nibblebiscuit.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- Apr 12, 202653 min
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: Eric and Shannon
Who doesn't want to spend more time being utterly confused by the Idiots of Oz 9? Don't answer that. PUT YOUR HAND DOWN. Sarah Golding, who has zero time left in her busy days, couldn't resist adding one more spicy meatball to her heaping plate and decided to interview the cast and characters of Oz 9, in no particular order. First up: the Perry siblings - Eric Perry, plus his alter egos of Joe (JESUS!), Dr von Haber Zetzer, Mr Southers, and Howard. Then Shannon Perry, accompanied as ever unless heavily medicated by Olivia and Captain Madeline. Enjoy. Ish. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- Apr 12, 202651 min
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: Eric and Shannon
Who doesn't want to spend more time being utterly confused by the Idiots of Oz 9? Don't answer that. PUT YOUR HAND DOWN.Sarah Golding, who has zero time left in her busy days, couldn't resist adding one more spicy meatball to her heaping plate and decided to interview the cast and characters of Oz 9, in no particular order.First up: the Perry siblings — Eric Perry, plus his alter egos of Joe (JESUS!), Dr von Haber Zetzer, Mr Southers, and Howard. Then Shannon Perry —accompanied as ever by the cough-syrup-induced twin hallucinations of Olivia and Captain Madeline. Enjoy. Ish. NOTE: Interested in the game Shannon mentioned? Get more information here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/169549125/xorakus.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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About Oz 9
It's Spring 2142 (a Tuesday), and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. Except this whole "terraform and take over" idea isn't actually the plan; the real plan is far more nefarious and involves a great deal of cackling. But those aboard the ships don't know that, so off they toodle (those that make it out of Earth's atmosphere, at least), all shiny and optimistic. This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.
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