Why does the Torah prefer the ben yonah over the tor after childbirth?The tor bonds for life. When it loses its partner, it never recovers.The ben yonah also bonds deeply but can re-pair after loss.In this shiur, delivered in Ba'er Miriam, Rav Burg explains that parenting means:Loving deeply but not in a way that makes separation impossible.At birth, a mother and child are one. But healthy growth requires a slow, careful separation. Not too fast. Not too little.Because real connection only happens when there are two selves not one fused identity.The goal of parenting isn’t to hold on forever.It’s to give so fully… that your child can one day let go.
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