30. When Your Elderly Parent Says "I'm Ready to Check Out"

Your 90 year old mom looks at you and says it plainly. "I'm tired and I'm ready to check out." What do you even say back? Most families never get this far. They avoid the conversation altogether, or they only have it in the middle of a crisis, guessing at what their parent really wants because nobody asked while there was still time.  That's exactly the gap today's guests spend their careers closing. Dr. Gary Lee, a hospice and palliative care physician, and Pastor Larry Wildemuth, a hospital chaplain of 29 years, both with the Coda Alliance join me to talk about the Go Wish Cards a simple deck of 36 cards that turns one of life's hardest conversations into something families can actually sit down and do together. We get into how the cards were created, how to introduce them to a parent without it feeling heavy, and the other planning tools worth having on your radar. It's a conversation, not a to-do list. Start with one card, one question, one honest moment with your parent — that's enough to begin.  Want to try the online version for yourself?  https://codaalliance.org/go-wish-game/ 👉Overwhelmed by the fear of what's next with your parent. Let's talk it through. My Parent Planning Call is a 60-minute 1:1 conversation to help you get clarity and real next steps, no judgment, no cookie-cutter advice. Book here: https://calendly.com/trinagonzalez/parent-planning-call In This Episode How a stack of 3x5 index cards turned into a tool now used in 13 languages Why sorting cards into piles can open up conversations a checklist never could The gentle way to ask a parent to go through this with you A simple way to talk through your advance directive before you ever fill out a form  The three-step process families skip: talk about it, write it down, and get it to the doctor Resources Mentioned Coda Alliance (Go Wish Cards): https://codaalliance.org/ Coda Alliance Resource Page: https://codaalliance.org/gowish-faq/ PREPARE for Your Care (plain-language advance directives, all 50 states): https://prepareforyourcare.org/ 🤝 LET'S STAY CONNECTED 📬 Sign Up To Be An Insider — weekly tips and support - Yes, Include Me Weekly 👥 Join Our Free Facebook Community — Elderly Parent Planning and Safety Group Join Facebook Community ⭐ Leave a Written Review on Apple Podcasts — helps others find the podcast 📤 Share This Episode with a friend  💌 Question? hello@trinag.com © 2026 Selective Ideas, Inc. All rights reserved. Navigating Elderly Parents is produced by Selective Ideas, Inc. Informational & Educational Purposes Only. The information provided is for general educational and informational purposes only. It should not be relied upon or used as the sole basis for decision making related to your personal life or business, without consulting primary, more accurate, more complete or more timely sources of information. You understand and acknowledge that the info provided to you by us is not legal, financial, therapeutic, mental health, medical advice or health advice and that the Company is not a professional service provider. Again, all of the information, including without limitation, resources provided via phone, video conference, e-mail, an online forum, live events such as webinars or lives, video/audio recordings, courses, materials provided in our digital products and the like about business, insurance, laws, health/nutrition, or finance-related information, are resources for educational and informational purposes only and should not take the place of hiring a licensed professional. You understand that the Company does not and will not provide any form of diagnosis, legal advice, medical advice, financial advice, or mental health advice.