Criticism Has No Place in a Relationship ft. The Gottmans

Drs. John and Julie Schwartz Gottman have followed 3,000 couples, some of them for twenty years, second by second, and in this conversation Shan brings them something that research was never designed to answer: what happens to a generation that has decided love isn't available to them, and has built community around that belief instead?  Julie's answer is that those groups are writing each other a prescription for how to stay alone, and she says it with a tenderness that's hard to argue with. From there the three of them get into why criticism sabotages the exact thing you were trying to be heard about, why listening to a woman's anger is one of the strongest predictors of a relationship improving over time, and what John pulls out of his back pocket every time Julie says the four most terrifying words in the English language.  This one is for anyone who has started to suspect that being right about dating and being loved are not the same project. ____________ Ready to reach your goals? Visit https://www.forhers.com/shan to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at https://www.masterclass.com/lovers ____________ Follow The Gottmans Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gottmaninstitute YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/thegottmaninstitute TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegottmaninstitute The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com Courses and Books: https://www.gottman.com/shop/ Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes ________________________ Advertising & Other Inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices