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by lovelustfear
lovelustfear exposes real stories about toxic dating and relationships. Every episode explores true dating and relationship stories—from the awkward and uncomfortable to the shocking and bizarre to the disturbing and downright dangerous. Host Jake Deptula (Strictly Stalking) welcomes storytellers into candid conversations, revealing the decisions they made and dilemmas they faced when better judgment got lost in a haze of desire. If you would like to share your story on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us at lovelustfearpod@gmail.comvideo episode teasers | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/
Latest Episodes
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- 3 days ago54 min
aziza | I didn't know who I was dealing with
After ending a ten-year marriage, Aziza stepped into the dating world for the first time as an adult, embracing her sexuality and believing she'd finally found the connection she had been missing. But what began with affection and excitement soon spiraled into obsession, emotional abuse, and relentless stalking, leaving Aziza and her children facing a nightmare that threatened their lives.**This episode contains explicit content. Please listen with caution.**music | soundsVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)stay aware | follow | share (aziza)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | lovelustfearpod@gmail.comInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!
- 2 weeks ago1h 20m
heather | i did not want to lose this man
After escaping a series of turbulent relationships, Heather finds hope in a charismatic and attractive bodybuilder. However, she soon becomes ensnared in a web of drug addiction, sex, pornography, and psychological manipulation. The relentless abuse drives her to multiple suicide attempts, leaving Heather’s life hanging in the balance.**This episode contains explicit content including descriptions of sexual assault, physical abuse, image-based abuse, pornography, drug abuse, child sexual abuse, psychiatric situations, and the loss of a child. Listener discretion is advised.**music | soundsMusic (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres (001-003) by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, cybercutie, TheoJT, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, Samuel Kamau, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabaystay aware | follow | share (heather)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | lovelustfearpod@gmail.comInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!
- Oct 3, 20261h 2m
nillie | next time you see me, smile
Nillie grew up under the pressure of her family’s traditions and expectations, especially when it came to finding a husband. She falls for an older man whose attention feels like love, but quickly turns into control. Trapped in a marriage marked by shame, abuse, and fear, she stays for years—until one terrifying night changes everything.** This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of strangulation and emotional abuse. Please listen with caution.**music | soundsVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)stay aware | follow | share (nillie)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | lovelustfearpod@gmail.comInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!
- Sep 19, 202647 min
ariel | i was addicted to the idea of him
After a childhood marked by bullying, anxiety, and insecurity, Ariel turned to drugs and alcohol to numb her pain. As her addiction deepened, she became caught in a cycle of unstable relationships and risky behavior, eventually meeting a man who took advantage of her vulnerabilities and drew her into a relationship that placed her recovery—and ultimately her life—in danger.**This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of physical assault, emotional abuse, drug abuse, death, and animal abuse. Please listen with caution.**music | soundsVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)stay aware | follow | share (ariel)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | lovelustfearpod@gmail.comInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!
- Sep 5, 20261h 2m
cait | the whole world froze
Cait thought she had found a safe and loving relationship—until cocaine, heavy drinking, threats, and escalating violence exposed the terrifying man behind the charm. Then came a brutal hours-long attack that left her fighting for her life, followed by stalking, a controversial release on bail, and a prosecution that ultimately failed.** This episode contains explicit content, including sexual assault, graphic descriptions of physical assault and emotional abuse. Please listen with caution.**music | soundsVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)stay aware | follow | share (cait) https://www.instagram.com/cait.alexander/ https://www.instagram.com/endviolenceeverywhere https://caitalexander.com/ https://endviolenceeverywhere.org/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/cait-alexander-1aa40944/ National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/ https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotline https://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/ story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below. submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfear E-mail | lovelustfearpod@gmail.com Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/ subscription linksAmazon Music https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApple https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feed https://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!
- Feb 15, 202639 min
channelle | i thought i was in a safe place
After a childhood marked by abuse and instability, Channelle spent her teenage years searching for love and safety wherever she could find it. When a next-door neighbor and his family welcomed her in, it felt like the stable home she had always longed for. But what began as comfort slowly twisted into control and abuse. She eventually escaped—until a chance reunion revealed the man she once trusted had become a predator who refused to let her go.**This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of sexual assault, physical and emotional abuse. Please listen with caution.**music | soundsVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)stay aware | follow | share (channelle)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.E-mail | lovelustfearpod@gmail.comInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!
- Sep 10, 20251h 17m
jaimee | there’s nothing scary about him
After a traumatic childhood, Jaimee yearned for peace and stability. She found temporary solace in a long-term marriage, but when it ended, she was drawn to a charismatic and charming man. However, beneath his appealing exterior lay a dark reality. As the relationship unfolded, it spiraled into psychological control, emotional and physical abuse. Caught in a dangerous and toxic situation, Jaimee soon found herself in a battle for her life.** This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of sexual assault, physical and emotional abuse. Please listen with caution.**quotes“I was in an extremely vulnerable place…I was in a real crossroads in life. My marriage was breaking down. I was very alone. I was lacking this love, lacking attention, lacking validation.” - Jaimee“…he was so hot and cold, so he would be super charismatic and flirty and then all of a sudden would kind of shift and become quite offhand or even slightly rude.” - Jaimee“He called me so many names that night and I was just so taken aback. It's the first time I'd ever seen this side. I was a bitch. I was a slut.” - Jaimee“I was just an absolute mess inside and out. My body was shutting down. I shook all day. I shook all day constantly. I had anxiety attacks constantly.” - Jaimee“…and he locked the car doors and he drove off away from my driveway. And he said, I fooled you. I tricked you.” - Jaimee “I really thought that he said to me, I'll fucking kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you. And I thought, okay, I really am gonna die here.” - Jaimee “That's seriously, one of the biggest things I've learned is you just, you can't, you can't outrun your trauma. It will catch you at, at some point, unless you, you face it and you deal with it.” - Jaimee topics | #DysfunctionalFamily #AbusiveRelationship #ChildhoodTrauma#CopingMechanisms #ToxicRelationships #Manipulation#LoveBombing #EmotionalAbuse #Control #AssaultSurvivor#Isolation #MentalHealthMatters #LeavingAbuse #TraumaHealing#SurvivorStory #HealingJourney #SupportSurvivors #EndAbuse#YouAreNotAlone #Resiliencemusic | soundsLost Place Atmospheres 002 & Just Deep 1 by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Other Music and Sound Effects by: Alex Wit, cybercutie, Samuel Kamau, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, AlesiaDavina, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabaystay aware | follow | share (jaimee)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | lovelustfearpod@gmail.comInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!
- May 8, 202547 min
lisa | that's when everything changed
As Lisa rises to fame in the modeling world, her ambition takes her around the globe. What starts as a dream life quickly unravels when she becomes the target of a dangerous sexual predator. Exploited by those in power, she refuses to stay silent, putting herself at risk to uncover the truth and protect others from the same fate.** This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of sexual assault, human trafficking, and coerion. Please listen with caution.**quotes"I definitely always had this personality where I like to have a voice." - Lisa"As I became a model in my teens, it was like. The mid nineties, right? So we had all these supermodels and every little girl wanted to be a model." - LisaI've had certain experiences that I always felt like I could handle." - Lisa"His whole demeanor changed. He was definitely very, very different at this point. I felt like I couldn't leave the room." - Lisa"It just changed everything for me and my trust in men for my body, my trust in myself." - Lisa "They cannot be silenced anymore. That's where the shift is going to change, because when people, yes, are assaulted, they're speaking out where predators have always relied on the fact that all the victims stay silent." - Lisatopics | #Healing #Transparency #Modeling #Identity #Podcasting #Trauma #Empowerment #Predators #Boundaries #SelfDiscovery #Grooming #Assault #Trust #Relationships #SelfPerception #Mentorship #PowerDynamics #EmotionalImpact #Abuse #ModelingIndustry #SpeakingOut #SurvivorStories #Corruption #PersonalGrowthmusic | soundsMusic (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres 002 by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Other Music and Sound Effects by: Alex Wit, cybercutie, freesound_community, Geoffrey Harvey, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, AlesiaDavina, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabaystay aware | follow | share (lisa)https://www.instagram.com/iamlisaphillips/https://www.youtube.com/@fromnowonpodhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-now-on/id1766405014https://open.spotify.com/show/1vOhoPrOkwIyCNApzsBlF8https://www.tiktok.com/@fromnowonpodhttps://linktr.ee/fromnowonpodNational Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | lovelustfearpod@gmail.comInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!
About lovelustfear
lovelustfear exposes real stories about toxic dating and relationships. Every episode explores true dating and relationship stories—from the awkward and uncomfortable to the shocking and bizarre to the disturbing and downright dangerous. Host Jake Deptula (Strictly Stalking) welcomes storytellers into candid conversations, revealing the decisions they made and dilemmas they faced when better judgment got lost in a haze of desire. If you would like to share your story on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us at lovelustfearpod@gmail.comvideo episode teasers | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/
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