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by Scott Stoner
The Living Compass Spirituality and Wellness Initiative is a non-profit that creates low-cost, often free, wellness resources, including this podcast, currently used by tens of thousands of adults, teens, parents, faith communities, and organizations around the world. The Rev. Dr. Scott Stoner, the founder of this initiative, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and Episcopal minister. He has over forty years of experience equipping individuals, couples, parents, and families with the tools and inspiration they need to navigate their lives and relationships with awareness and intention.
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From Giving Thanks to Living Thanks: Observing an "Advent" Time for Thanksgiving | Living Compass Spirituality and Wellness Podcast Episode summary Advent prepares us for Christmas and Lent prepares us for Easter, so why not set aside a season to prepare for Thanksgiving? With about three weeks until the holiday, Scott invites us to observe an unofficial "Advent for Thanksgiving." Drawing on the parable of the sower, he explores how to cultivate the soil of our hearts, souls, and relationships so that seeds of gratitude can take deeper root. The goal is bigger than one day: to move from giving thanks to living thanks. In this episode Why Thanksgiving deserves its own season of preparation The parable of the sower: making sure gratitude doesn't fall on a hardened path Naming the rocks, thorns, and weeds that crowd out gratitude, including complaining, scarcity thinking, taking things for granted, grudges, resentments, and quick judgments of ourselves and others Trying to go 24 or 48 hours without complaining A simple reframe: moving from "I have to" to "I am grateful that I can" Watering the soil by thanking someone every day, whether a stranger, friend, or family member How a sincere thank-you can help someone blossom, like a wilted flower standing upright again Offering ourselves gratitude, too, since we can be our own worst critics The connection between the words "gratitude" and "grace" Noticing each day's grace through prayer, meditation, or journaling Putting on the "glasses of gratitude" Prayer as simply paying attention Reflection questions What rocks, thorns, or weeds might be keeping gratitude from taking deeper root in your life? What is one "I have to" in your day that you could reframe as "I am grateful that I can"? Who could you thank today, and what would you want them to know? What grace did you receive today? Resources Self-guided retreat: Look for Scott's new self-guided retreat on preparing for Thanksgiving, coming to the Living Compass app this week Living Compass app: Available at app.livingcompass.org Website: livingcompass.org Contact Scott at Scott@LivingCompass.org About the host Scott Stoner is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of Living Compass, a spirituality and wellness initiative that helps people make their spirituality their compass in every aspect of their lives.
Episode summary Early in his career as a young Episcopal pastor and marriage and family therapist, Scott Stoner believed his job was to have the answers. When people brought him their struggles, he offered expert advice. Over his first decade of ministry and clinical work, he slowly learned a different response: "I don't know, but I'm confident that if we hold space for this together, the path will become clear." In this episode, Scott explores why not knowing can be a deeper way of knowing. This is especially true in life's complex seasons: a difficult diagnosis, a hard decision, grief, loss, or transition. He calls these times liminal space, the place between the "no longer" and the "not yet." He also connects this wisdom to spiritual practice, therapy, worship, and how we companion one another. He closes with a lighter example: walking with fellow Milwaukee Brewers fans through the uncertainty of the World Series, one pitch at a time. In this episode Moving from "expert with answers" to "companion in the questions" Liminal space: the territory between the no longer and the not yet How prayer, meditation, therapy, spiritual direction, and worship all hold space for not knowing What not knowing asks of us: presence, humility, curiosity, trust, compassion, and companioning Beginner's mind: "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's, few" Loving the questions themselves Responding to someone's grief or worry by walking with them instead of giving advice Baseball, community, and letting go of the outcome while enjoying the journey A practice to try Think of something in your life right now where you lack clarity. It might be a decision, a hurt, or someone you're worried about. Instead of forcing an answer, practice not knowing. Ask yourself: What helps me feel less anxious in this space? Prayer, centering prayer, meditation, journaling, walking, singing, dancing, yoga, tai chi? What helps me take a breath and trust that "way will open" when it is time? For conversation or journaling When someone shares a struggle with you, what is your first instinct: to advise, or to accompany? Where in your life are you in liminal space right now? What might change if you met that uncertainty with curiosity instead of anxiety? Blessings to you in your own time of not knowing, and go Brewers!
Spaciousness | Living Compass Spirituality and Wellness Podcast Episode summary When a friend called in the middle of a busy day, Scott's first instinct was regret at picking up. Then he stopped, took a breath, and made space. In this episode, Scott explores spaciousness — the inner, emotional, and spiritual room we need to create within ourselves so that we can offer it to others. In a world of busyness, screens, clutter, and worry, making space is countercultural. And the paradox is that we need it most precisely when it feels hardest to find. In this episode The phone call that became an invitation to reset and make space The overstuffed glove compartment as a metaphor for how unspacious our lives can become Psalm 18:19: "He brought me forth into a spacious place" Revisiting "Be still and know" from last episode — and the freedom to say no The monk who meditates for two hours on her busiest days Jesus withdrawing to a deserted place when the crowds pressed in, and the gift of Sabbath Autumn leaves letting go: how making space sometimes means releasing something Making space for grief, illness, and recovery "Love your neighbor as yourself," reframed: make space for yourself so you can make space for others Holding space as the common thread of ministry and therapy — being a midwife to what wants to emerge Viktor Frankl: between stimulus and response there is a space, and in that space lies our freedom Reflection questions Where in your life are you being invited to make space right now? What is one way you might be more intentional about making space in the next couple of days? How does the space you make (or don't make) for yourself shape how present you can be for others? Resources Living Compass app: free on iPhone and Android, or at app.livingcompass.org Website: livingcompass.org
In this epiosde, Scott shares a new guided meditation that he has recorded for thet Living Compass mobile app. Be Still and No: A Guided Meditation from Living Compass This meditation starts from a familiar line in Psalm 46, "Be still and know that I am God," and plays on its last word: be still and no. The meditation begins by inviting you to arrive in the present moment with slow, intentional breaths, letting your body, mind and spirit settle. He then explores a paradox many of us live with. When we struggle to say no, we lose our ability to be still. When we tend our spiritual lives through prayer, meditation, time in nature or journaling, we become centered enough to say no with grace and kindness. You'll be gently guided to notice what is pulling at you right now, like the to-do list, the unanswered messages and the things you "should" be doing, and to answer each one with a quiet no, not now or this can wait. Along the way, Scott reflects on why saying no is good for our wellbeing: It protects our time and energy. It reduces stress and burnout. It strengthens our self-respect. It makes our yeses more honest. It prevents resentment in our relationships. It helps us live in line with our values. He also describes saying no as a form of Sabbath: saying no to scrolling, screens and binge-watching makes room for rest and renewal. The meditation closes with a simple breath prayer you can carry into your day. Breathe in on "Be still" and out on "and know," holding both meanings of the word. Listen when life feels crowded and you need permission to slow down, set a boundary and come back to your center.
Farmer, poet, theologian Wendell Berry died this week at the age of 92. This episode provides a brief reflection on his spiritual wisdom. Here are some of his quotes that reflect that wisdom and a poem of his called "The Peace of Wild Things." The Peace of Wild Things When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free. "There are no unsacred places; there are only sacred places and desecrated places." "Sabbath observance invites us to stop...It invites us to delight in the world's beauty and abundance." "So, friends, every day do something that won't compute...Laugh."
Scott is heading up to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area tomorrow, so he has compasses on his mind. In this episode, he invites us to reflect on the many compasses that guide our lives (consciously and unconsciously), and explores what it means to make our spirituality our compass in the decisions we make about every aspect of our lives.
The word "peloton" in French means a "small ball." When groups of bike riders in a bike race like the Tour de France ride together for support, they are called a "peloton." In this episode Scott reflects on a new take on the African proverb that reminds us that if we want to go far, we need to go as a group. Community is essential to our emotional and spiritual wellbeing. All of our relationships are like a peloton — sometimes we are the ones giving support and encouragement, and sometimes we are the ones who need that support and encouragement.
Scott's love of the Merlin bird app provides a metaphor for listening for the presence of the Divine in our lives.
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The Living Compass Spirituality and Wellness Initiative is a non-profit that creates low-cost, often free, wellness resources, including this podcast, currently used by tens of thousands of adults, teens, parents, faith communities, and organizations around the world. The Rev. Dr. Scott Stoner, the founder of this initiative, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and Episcopal minister. He has over forty years of experience equipping individuals, couples, parents, and families with the tools and inspiration they need to navigate their lives and relationships with awareness and intention.
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