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Lights On with Carl Lentz: Daily Summaries Delivered
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Lights On with Carl Lentz is exactly what this show is. Carl Lentz is turning on the lights in his own life, & giving people space to do the same. We will lead with vulnerability, & have open conversations to bring light to the inner darkness in our lives.Turn on the lights with us!
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- 5 days ago1h 9m
You Will Not Get Around to a Healthy Marriage "Someday" (Part 2 with the Metcalfs)
Charles and Abby Metcalf are back at the table, and this one goes deeper than part one. In this episode of Lights On, Carl, Laura, Charles, and Abby get into the parts of marriage that quietly erode underneath the busy life of raising kids: the conflicts that aren't actually about what they look like, the unspoken games we play hoping our spouse will read our minds, the way two exhausted people can drift apart without ever raising their voices, and the truth most couples never address out loud about what's happening (or not happening) in their bedroom.You'll hear Abby tell the story of the moment her old toxic game broke wide open with one shouted question her husband couldn't answer, why both couples agree your sex life is the clearest drift indicator you have, and the slow, sneaky death of "I should be able to do this myself." Carl gets honest about what it actually looks like for a man with a history of betrayal to learn how to ask for support again, and how the "deposit before the withdrawal" frame keeps him steady. Laura speaks to the women still afraid to be honest about what they need, and what it cost her to stop playing the small games she didn't even know she was playing.Stay for the complaint to compliment log challenge, the two-minute eye contact experiment that exposes how present you've actually been, the hand-hold-while-you-fight trick, and the line that should be written on the wall of every married couple's house: you will not get around to a healthy marriage someday.This is part two with the Metcalfs. Bring your spouse.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/Follow Charles at: https://www.instagram.com/charlesmetcalf/Follow Abby at: https://www.instagram.com/abbyrosemetcalf/Chapters: 0:00 – Cold Open1:07 – Welcome Back: Charles & Abby Metcalf, Part 23:09 – How Kids Change a Marriage4:01 – The Conflict That Keeps Showing Up8:40 – Abby on Doing Deep Inner Work While Mothering10:26 – God Behind Bars10:59 – Why You Can't Process Everything at Home12:29 – Small Fights, Big Resentment16:06 – Homework: One Way to Make Them Feel Supported17:08 – Why Wives Don't Ask for Help18:04 – BetterHelp19:04 – Creating Safety for an Honest Answer22:31 – What If They're Actually Trying Their Best?25:43 – Stop Guessing. Start Asking.28:45 – Grieving the Toxic Patterns You Grew Up With29:56 – Homework: "I Feel Most Supported When..."32:35 – Extra Credit: Hand-Holding and Eye Contact34:31 – Wonder Project35:15 – For the Husband Who Broke Trust39:19 – Bids for Connection41:31 – Why You Need Trusted Friends Outside the Marriage42:20 – Reading the Room44:34 – Grace When Their Effort Doesn't Land46:23 – Policy Genius47:34 – Where Graciousness Actually Comes From50:03 – It's Never Too Late to Repair a Rejected Bid51:22 – Wives, You Set the Temperature of the Home52:38 – Complimenting Your Spouse in Front of Your Kids53:30 – The Complaint-to-Compliment Log54:12 – Marriage Drift Is Real54:39 – Your Sex Life Is Telling the Truth56:00 – Abby: When Sex Stopped Feeling Like a Chore58:06 – If Sex Feels Secretive, Start Here59:12 – If Sex Is Infrequent, Ask This First1:00:22 – Why Withholding Sex Is Dangerous for Both of You1:02:21 – Find a Healthy "Normal" From Couples You Trust1:03:13 – Don't Make Sex a Reward System1:06:30 – Your Patterns Today Are Your Marriage Tomorrow1:07:57 – Tomorrow Is a Brand New Start1:08:46 – Don't Ignore the Warning Signs1:09:24 – Marriage Is Still the Coolest Thing1:10:38 – Outro + Shoutout: God Behind BarsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- 1 weeks ago1h 0m
What Kids Actually Do to Your Marriage | Ft. Charles and Abby Metcalf
Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comFor the first time on Lights On, Carl and Laura invited guests to the table: Charles and Abby Metcalf, dear friends, pastors, and parents of four little ones in the thick of the season most couples privately worry they won't survive. Together, the four of them get into the question hundreds of you have asked in different ways: what do kids actually do to a marriage, and how do you stay best friends through it?In this episode of Lights On, Carl, Laura, Charles, and Abby get honest about the parts of marriage that kids quietly expose. The impatience you didn't know was in you. The differences in parenting style that suddenly feel personal. The way two exhausted people can drift from lovers into co-managers without anyone noticing. The way "teammate energy" sneaks in and steals what brought you together in the first place.You'll hear Charles tell the story of his Mother's Day attempt to do everything alone (and the wrath of God that followed), why Abby believes a confident, joyful mom is the most valuable thing a household can have, and why both couples agree the best parents are always the best friends. Laura speaks directly to the moms carrying invisible weight, the ones who never get asked what they actually need. Carl speaks to the dads who clock out at work and clock out again at home, and the small mental shift that flips everything.Stay for the homework prompts you can take to dinner this week, the "what's in the way of becoming co-managers" frame that will change how you protect your marriage, and the line that lands no matter what season you're in: you are doing so much better than you think you are.This is part one with the Metcalfs. They're coming back. Bring a notebook.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ Follow Charles at: https://www.instagram.com/charlesmetcalf/ Follow Abby at: https://www.instagram.com/abbyrosemetcalf/Chapters:0:00 - Intro:0:56 - Welcome & Meet the Guests: Charles & Abby Metcalf3:29 - Learning Each Other Before Having Kids5:13 - A Stranger's Kind Words at a Diner (Story)6:52 - What Shocked Us Most About Having Kids (Impatience & Overstimulation)10:39 - How Parenting Exposes Fragile Parts of Your Marriage11:18 - GOD BEHIND BARS11:50 - What Stretches Your Marriage the Most: Exhaustion & the "Same Team" Mindset13:27 - Navigating Different Parenting Styles Without Undermining Each Other15:28 - Have Ground Rules for Disagreeing in Front of the Kids16:01 - When Marriage Becomes Survival Mode: How to Move Toward Thriving17:18 - Homework: Ask What Drains & Restores Your Partner18:06 - The Drift: How Couples Quietly Become Teammates Instead of Lovers19:13 - How the Metcalfs Protect Their Friendship (Thursday Date Night)22:14 - Flip the Script: Let Marriage Get in the Way of the Kids23:11 - Better Help24:10 - Staying Curious About Each Other as You Both Change25:31 - Practical Tip: Create One Recurring Friendship Interruption This Month27:01 - What Kids Learn by Watching Mom and Dad Prioritize Each Other28:31 - Hold Yourself to the Same Standard You'd Hold a Son-in-Law To29:12 - When Both Partners Feel Unseen: Invisible Weight32:05 - Silent Anger Becomes Resentment — Naming It Before It's Toxic33:44 - The Unseen Weight of Being a Mom36:08 - Wonder Project37:12 - Charles doing Mother's Day Solo With All Four Kids (Story)38:27 - No iPads, Homeschooling & the Extra Layer of Demand on Mom39:27 - The Resentment Trap When Both Parents Come Home Exhausted41:28 - Building a Daily Structure That Gives Everyone Space to Breathe43:38 - Intentional Architecture: Design Your Life Before the Fires Start44:56 - Appreciating What Mom Holds — The "Walk Into the Ocean" Story46:18 - The Most Common Root of Marriage Tension: Not Feeling Seen47:00 - Policy Genius48:10 - Laura's Story: Not Knowing Who She Was Outside of Her Family49:52 - Women Finding Their Voice & Overcoming Mom Guilt51:42 - Stop Getting Parenting Advice From Social Media53:07 - The Value of Friendships That Actually Know You (Tornado Story)
- 2 weeks ago55 min
How do you rebuild intimacy after betrayal?
Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com This is the number one question Carl and Laura get asked, so they finally gave it a whole episode. A listener wrote in asking how you rebuild intimacy when sex, touch, and closeness have all become wired to pain, pressure, and fear. Underneath it sat the question almost nobody says out loud: will we ever have sex again?In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get honest about why intimacy after betrayal breaks down so fast, and why the problem is almost never that the intimacy disappeared. It's that the order got destroyed. They walk through what Laura calls the architecture of intimacy, the healthy sequence real connection actually flows through, and the broken version that quietly pushes couples toward divorce or a lonely marriage they never had to end up in.You'll hear why pressure is the one thing that shuts a nervous system down completely, why the price tag for future intimacy is elite patience, and why becoming a student of your spouse's nervous system will do more than any romantic gesture ever could. Carl gets blunt with the men still leading with "but I have needs." Laura speaks directly to the women carrying comparison, fear, and the quiet belief that they should want intimacy by now.Stay for the follow the order checklist, a set of questions you can actually take to dinner this week, the truth about why women trust patterns and not emotion, and the two words that change everything for a man trying to rebuild: build stability.Whether you're walking through repair or you just want a marriage that's more alive than it's ever been, this conversation is built to give you order, and order brings peace.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/Chapters:0:32 - Welcome2:50 - Will We Ever Have Sex Again?3:41 - What We Can Actually Help With Today4:56 - The Biggest Mistake Couples Make After Betrayal5:41 - There Is an Order to Repairing Broken Trust7:03 - The Architecture of Intimacy8:12 - The Healthy Order: Safety → Connection → Security → Desire9:42 - The Broken Order & Where It Leads11:10 - God Behind Bars11:43 - The Problem Is the Order Got Destroyed, Not That Intimacy Is Gone13:19 - You're Not Broken, You're Not Rejected — You're Out of Order14:25 - Don't Make This About You17:10 - The #1 Thing Women Say Makes Intimacy So Hard: Pressure18:34 - You Can Have Intimacy Again, But It'll Cost You Patience20:45 - BetterHelp21:45 - What About Husbands Who've Done the Work But She's Not Moving?22:16 - Wanting Sex Isn't Wrong — Demanding It Is23:11 - Stop Trying to Be Romantic. Become a Student of Her Nervous System25:29 - It Does Help to Be Handsome — But Stability Is More Attractive27:05 - A Wife Has Never Left a Kind Man. Ever.28:03 - Carl Asks Laura: What Actually Healed You?29:02 - Desire Returns Through Safety, Not Timelines31:03 - Wonder Project32:07 - What's Actually Going On Inside the Woman You Betrayed33:47 - Patience Is a Skill & the Impatient Man Caused This Problem34:17 - Delaying Gratification Speaks Volumes to Her34:43 - You Cannot Pray Your Way Out of Hard Work37:08 - Two Words Every Man Needs: Build Stability40:34 - The Woman Can Break the Order. You Cannot.42:20 - Follow the Order Checklist43:46 - Policy Genius44:58 - Have We Removed Pressure From the Intimacy Conversation?45:45 - Are We Building Connection Outside the Bedroom?46:41 - More Stable or Just More Apologetic?47:31 - Are We Creating New Experiences or Only Processing Pain?48:35 - Do We Understand Each Other's Nervous System Better?48:59 - Real Life: Laura Loses It After Moving Kids Home50:14 - Have We Become More Honest This Week?51:05 - Don't Crush Him for Being HonestSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- 3 weeks ago40 min
How do you parent your kids when you feel disqualified?
Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comWhen a parent emailed asking how to discipline their kids after blowing up the family, we knew this conversation needed its own episode. Their question went deeper than discipline though. It was about authority. How do you lead your kids when you feel completely disqualified? And how do you stabilize their nervous system when yours is barely holding together?In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura sit with the parent who knows the unique pain of trying to show up for their kids after wrecking the very thing that was supposed to make them feel safe. They walk through three pillars that have carried their own family through six years of repair: posture, honesty, and confidence. None of them are what most people assume they are.You'll hear why your kids don't lose respect when you fail, they lose it when you pretend you didn't. Why removing discipline out of guilt actually steals the safety your children are craving most. Why secrecy "to protect them" usually does the opposite, and what the merry-go-round study reveals about the boundaries kids actually need. Carl gets honest about the dad voice that had to be retired and the one that took its place. Laura speaks directly to the betrayed spouse navigating their own version of this, and why the temptation to triangulate with your kids is one of the most costly choices a parent can make.Stay for the lighthouse metaphor, the turbulence-on-a-plane illustration that will change the way you talk to your kids about hard things, and the honest truth about how we tagged in and tagged out on the days neither of them had anything left to give.If you're parenting through repair, or watching someone you love try to, this one is for you.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/Chapters:0:00 - Intro 0:41 - Welcome & Episode Overview1:25 - Book Announcement & How to Reach the Show1:59 - The email2:46 - Why This Moment Can Go Right or Wrong3:45 - The 3 Keys: Posture, Honesty & Confidence3:56 - What "Posture" Actually Means4:26 - Wrong Posture: "I'm Still the Parent, Do What I Say"5:01 - Right Posture: Own It, Repair It, Show Up Every Day5:49 - Kids Lose Respect When You Pretend Nothing Happened6:20 - The Guilt Trap: Why Discipline Can't Disappear7:03 - Removing Discipline Removes Safety7:49 - What Discipline Actually Sounds Like Now8:46 - Holding the Line Consistently Rebuilds Trust9:32 - Being Firm AND Humble at the Same Time10:51 - God Behind Bars11:24 - Correct With Empathy, Not Just Authority12:16 - Discipline From Responsibility, Not Guilt13:32 - Honesty — Why Parents Get This Wrong14:18 - Silence Seeds More Instability (Real Story: Charlie)16:00 - The Pattern You're Setting Without Knowing It17:16 - What Honesty Actually Looks Like (Without Oversharing)18:25 - BetterHelp19:25 - Pushback: "I Don't Want to Break My Kid's Heart"20:28 - Sample Language to Use With Your Kids21:21 - The Fence Study: Why Kids Need Boundaries22:09 - Secrecy Destroys Trust 22:33 - Turbulence Analogy: Be the Pilot, Not the Silence23:30 - The Cost of Waiting Too Long to Be Honest25:06 - Confidence — The Stabilizer26:47 - The Betrayed Spouse's Crucial Role27:26 - Wonder Project28:30 - Don't Put Kids in the Middle29:20 - Kids Will Be Angry, Test You, and Lose Trust — That's Normal29:49 - Your Job: Stay Consistent, Not Control Their Reaction30:56 - The Spouse's Rôle: Supporting Rebuilding31:43 - When Kids Push Back: Simple Language That Works33:04 - Find a Safe Outlet — Don't Dump on Your Kids33:40 - The Lighthouse Dad Analogy34:46 - Policy Genius35:56 - How Did You Stabilize the Kids When You Were Unstable?37:44 - Progress Isn't Linear — Good Days, Bad Days, Keep Going38:09 - More Clinical Help on Kids' Nervous Systems Is Coming38:47 - Final Encouragement: Recap of Posture, Honesty & Confidence40:20 - Outro & How to Reach the ShowSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- May 11, 202648 min
How Do You Know When FORGIVENESS Is REAL?
Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comWhen a husband emailed asking why his wife still brings up his affair every week, three years after it happened, even though she says she has forgiven him, we knew this conversation was going to land for a lot of people. His question was simple and brave: am I allowed to ask for more? And underneath it sits the question nobody wants to say out loud. What's the difference between a spouse who is genuinely still healing, and a spouse who is using the past as a weapon?In this episode of Lights On, We got into the full timeline of recovery after betrayal: the early trauma phase, the processing phase, and the long rebuilding phase that doesn't end the way most couples expect. We explain why "time heals all wounds" is one of the worst lies ever sold, why some marriages get stuck in what they call a hostage crisis, and how to tell the difference between healing pain and recycled pain.You'll hear the sponge metaphor that has helped more couples than we can count. The guardrails every rebuilding marriage needs. The hard truth for women who say they want a strong man back while still breaking him down daily. And the even harder truth for men who keep leading with "don't I have the right" instead of "I'm choosing to own this."Whether you're three months in, three years in, or quietly sitting in pain longer than you want to admit, this episode is built to give you clarity. Because clarity is the thing that brings the power back into the room.We closed with the three choices every couple has to make: heal, heal together, or heal separately. The only option that doesn't exist is no plan.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/Chapters:0:00 - Intro2:38 - Welcome3:27 - The Email — "She Says She Forgave Me But Her Actions Say Otherwise"4:18 - Are You Allowed to Ask for More?5:45 - What You Lose the Right to Ask6:34 - You Still Deserve Basic Dignity7:56 - Where Is This Marriage Going?8:37 - When She Stays But Won't Heal9:07 - The Healing Timeline Explained10:28 - Phase 1 — Chaos (0–3 Months)11:04 - God Behind Bars11:36 - Phase 2 — Processing (3–12 Months)12:05 - Phase 3 — Rebuilding (1–2 Years+)13:04 - Why "Time Heals All Wounds" Is a Lie18:18 - BetterHelp19:18 - What Real Healing Actually Looks Like21:45 - The Sponge Analogy23:08 - Using the Past as a Weapon vs. Processing It24:38 - You Never Have to Forget25:13 - The Ground Rules That Keep You Both Safe27:25 - How Your Words Are Building or Destroying Your Husband28:49 - Wonder Project29:53 - Stop Being Vague About How You're Healing31:12 - Getting Clear About Intimacy32:50 - How Do You Know Someone Is Actually Healing?33:04 - When Therapy Makes Things Worse35:29 - She's Not Cold. She's Firm.36:52 - Policy Genius38:02 - Forgiveness and Rebuilding Are Not the Same Thing38:31 - The Posture Every Husband Needs Right Now39:55 - You Have to Learn to Meet Your Own Needs41:23 - Stop Leading With "Don't I Have Rights?"43:03 - Six Years Later — It Still Shows Up44:58 - The Three Choices Every Couple Has to Make46:56 - Are You Choosing to Heal Today?48:04 - OutroSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- May 4, 20261h 3m
Ambition or Family? You're asking the WRONG question | ft. Ruslan KD
Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comThis episode explores the tension between "be the light of the world" and "live a quiet life" - and why both can coexist in the same calling. Carl sits down with Ruslan Alkhouri, the Armenian refugee turned seven-figure media entrepreneur, about faithfulness before platform, godly ambition versus worldly fame, and why implementation always beats information.The conversation covers twenty years of faithful local service that nobody saw, how God breathed on Ruslan's YouTube platform during the pandemic, and the controversial topic of wealth in ministry. You'll hear why your assignment is seasonal but your purpose is constant, and why you can't change people no matter how hard you try.If you're wrestling with how to build something meaningful without losing your soul, or wondering whether your current season of faithfulness will ever lead to breakthrough, this conversation was made for you.Follow Carl at: instagram.com/carllentzFollow Laura at: instagram.com/lauralentzFollow Ruslan at: instagram.com/ruslankdSupported by Wonder Project https://www.thewonderproject.com/Supported by God Behind Bars https://www.godbehindbars.com/Supported by Policy Genius https://www.policygenius.com/Supported by Better Help https://www.betterhelp.com/Chapters:0:00 – Intro Highlights0:56 – Meet the Guest: Ruslan1:41 – From Armenian Refugee to Gangster Culture4:35 – Finding Faith & Surrendering His Life5:18 – 20 Years of Serving Quietly Before the Platform7:30 – Shifting Away from Call-Out Culture9:30 – Wonder Project (Sponsor)10:35 – Getting Under Healthy Leadership at Rhythm Church13:05 – Did He Feel Behind? The Engine of Godly Ambition21:03 – God Behind Bars (Sponsor)21:35 – Who Is This Book For?29:39 – Policy Genius (Sponsor)30:49 – Ambition Is Evil… Or Is It?32:08 – The Comparison Trap & Social Media Lies34:18 – "Live a Quiet Life" – The Most Misused Scripture36:32 – The State of Culture: Distrust in Institutions43:00 – Purpose Is Constant, Assignment Is Seasonal45:31 – Small Habits Build Great Men46:41 – BetterHelp (Sponsor)47:41 – What You Do ≠ Who You Are51:05 – Talent Stacking: Nothing Is Wasted53:03 – Biblical Financial Literacy & The Missing Conversation58:30 – Generosity Is a State of Mind1:03:34 – Closing: The Book & Final WordsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- Apr 27, 202651 min
How Do You Parent Kids Through Marriage Trauma?
Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comWhen a mom of three teenage boys emailed us asking how to lead her family through the aftermath of her husband's betrayal, we knew this conversation needed its own episode. Her oldest son has gone cold. The anger is hardening. The whole family is weary. And she's wondering if the work she and her husband are doing will ever be enough to reach the kids who didn't choose any of this.In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura sit with the question every couple in recovery eventually has to face: how do you parent well while your kids are still reacting to something you created? Drawing from six years on this road with their own three children, they reframe the question entirely, walk through what the adolescent brain is actually capable of processing, and offer five principles that have carried their family through layered, lagging, multi-year healing.You'll hear why the most dangerous timeline in family recovery is the one in your head. Why your son's anger is not his final form. Why "show me, don't tell me" is the only currency teenagers will spend. And why the goal isn't to win your kids back, it's to become so steady, so safe, and so full of life that the ice has no choice but to melt.If you're a parent in the thick of repair work, or you're watching someone you love try to lead a family through the consequences of a hard year, this one was written for you. Carl gets honest about shame, consistency, and the moments his own kids have caught him still mirroring their pain. Laura speaks directly to the fear underneath your child's reactions: they didn't just lose trust in you, they lost trust in life itself.Stay for the metaphors that will outlast the episode (the garden, the ice block, the leaking roof) and the reminder that you are not behind. You are right on time.Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/Supported by Wonder Projecthttps://www.amazon.com/gp/video/offers/ref=atv_3p_amz_c_CDvZ9m_1_1?benefitId=wonderprojectusCHAPTERS: 0:00 Intro0:58 Welcome to Lights On1:00 The Listener's Email2:51 The Family's Story4:24 Why This Episode Matters5:11 Reframing the Question7:07 How Kids Process Betrayal8:00 Children Heal on Their Own Timeline10:13 The 5 Principles11:01 Resetting Expectations13:08 Principle 1: Don't Mirror Your Kids18:07 The Garden Mindset20:03 When Shame Tries to Win21:34 They Lost Trust in Life24:17 Leading When They're Not Okay25:00 One Day at a Time29:03 Answer Pain with Patience30:28 Your Calm Heals Them31:58 Show the Repair34:04 Holding the Line with Grace35:20 Keep Encouraging Therapy36:44 Principle 2: Anger Isn't Their Final Form38:35 Principle 3: You Can't Rush Trust40:06 Do It Because You're Healthy40:58 Control Your Consistency, Not Them41:19 Principle 4: Lead by Example43:10 Kids Notice Everything44:25 Let Them See the Repair45:03 Repair in Front of Them46:47 Principle 5: Heat, Not Pressure48:00 Creating Safety Over Time49:20 Don't Give Up49:54 Outro & SponsorsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
- Apr 20, 202652 min
50 Pills a Day. 15 Years Sober. Here's What Changed.
If you or someone you love is trapped in addiction and you've run out of answers, call Hope Is Alive at 1-844-3-HOPE-NOW or visit hopeisalive.netIn this honest and hope-filled episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down with Lance Lang — pastor's kid turned 50-pill-a-day addict turned founder of Hope Is Alive — for a conversation that will change the way you see addiction forever. Lance breaks down the moment he hit rock bottom, why addiction doesn't care about your last name, your bank account, or your upbringing, and how one full confession in his uncle's office on April 6th, 2011 became the first day of the rest of his life. Carl and Lance dismantle the stigma that rehab is for people who've lost everything, explain why explanations are not excuses but tools, and make the case that sobriety is not a surrender — it's a superpower. From the lie that you're too busy to get help, to the three things every family member of an addict needs to hear, to why the cost of not going is always greater than the cost of going, this episode is a lifeline for anyone who's been waiting for a sign. Whether you're the one struggling in silence, the spouse who's tried everything, or the parent sitting in a pew next to someone who's carrying the same secret you are — this is your moment.Drawing from 23 years of marriage and their own journey through betrayal, rebuilding, and recovery, Carl and Laura created Lights On to bring light to the areas of life where we need it most.If this episode gave you hope or you're ready to take the next step, don't wait. Call Hope Is Alive at 1-844-3-HOPE-NOW or visit hopeisalive.netFollow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/Follow Lance at: hopeisalive.netHope Is Alive: hopeisalive.netSupported by God Behind Bars - https://godbehindbars.comSupported by Plana - https://plana.org/CHAPTERS:0:00 - Welcome to Lights On1:56 - Lance Lang: Pastor's Kid, Drug Addict, Founder3:56 - Addiction Doesn't Discriminate8:39 - Rock Bottom: 50 Pills a Day9:55 - The First Full Confession10:27 - 90 Days That Changed Everything13:53 - God Behind Bars Partnership16:00 - What People Get Wrong About Addiction21:05 - Explanations Are Not Excuses23:18 - Remove the Stigma From Rehab25:29 - Hope Is Alive: Recovery Done Differently31:01 - Finding Hope: Support Groups for Families33:15 - You're Not Alone. It's Not Your Fault. There Is Hope.40:21 - Plana Partnership41:02 - Sobriety Is Your Superpower43:49 - Recovery Is Not Just Sobriety — It's Identity46:23 - Try the Drug Called Hope47:54 - How to Call Hope Is Alive Right Now49:25 - A Word to the Addict ListeningSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
About Lights On with Carl Lentz
Lights On with Carl Lentz is exactly what this show is. Carl Lentz is turning on the lights in his own life, & giving people space to do the same. We will lead with vulnerability, & have open conversations to bring light to the inner darkness in our lives.Turn on the lights with us!
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