They Love Bomb You, Then Break You Down: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse | For Mannerless Women

What happens when the person who once made you feel like the centre of their world becomes the person who makes you question your worth?The constant attention. The big promises. The feeling that you've finally found someone who truly understands you. And then, slowly, the affection changes. The criticism begins. Your boundaries are tested. You find yourself holding on to the person they were at the beginning.In Part 1 of this conversation on For Mannerless Women, Adelle sits down with psychologist and trauma therapist Perpetua Chomba to unpack how narcissistic abuse can begin, how it can escalate, and why recognising and leaving a harmful relationship can be so difficult. They explore love bombing, future faking, gaslighting and the cycle of devaluing, discard and hoovering. They also discuss how inconsistent affection can strengthen attachment, why setting boundaries matters, and how our earliest experiences of love can shape the relationships we find ourselves in as adults.In this episode, we explore:Love bombing and future faking: when intensity is mistaken for intimacyHow someone responds when you set a boundaryGaslighting, silent treatment and emotional manipulationFinancial abuse, isolation and other forms of controlThe cycle of devaluing, discard and hooveringNarcissistic patterns in family relationshipsTrauma bonds and why leaving can feel so difficultHow the highs and lows of a relationship can become familiarLearning to recognise consistent love without abandoning yourselfIn Part 2, Adelle and Perpetua explore healing from narcissistic abuse and answer questions sent in by the For Mannerless Women community.CONNECT WITH PERPETUA CHOMBA Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therapist_perpetuaTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@therapistperpetua RESOURCES RECOMMENDED BY PERPETUA The covert Passive aggressive narcissist by debbie mirza bookWill I ever be good enough healing daughters of narcissistic mothers by karyl McBrideBoundaries by Dr henry cloudJOIN THE LEGALLY CLUELESS AFRICA COMMUNITYWebsite: https://www.legallycluelessafrica.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutubeSHARE YOUR STORY https://forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8 If this conversation helps you put language to something you've experienced, share it with another woman who may need it.Subscribe to For Mannerless Women wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss Part 2.#ForMannerlessWomen #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #LoveBombing #TraumaBonds #AfricanWomen #LegallyCluelessAfrica