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When humanity appears to be at its breaking游戏副本... Two men offer up their voices in the darkness! Leading the huddled masses into the safe harbor of good business practices, 80's music and headline news, we introduce the IP... Frequently podcast. Meet David and Brad, two small businessmen giving you the straight talk every week on IP… Frequently.
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David and Brad spend the hour marveling at humanity's commitment to pretending. Soccer players collapse like they've taken a cannonball to the shin over a stiff breeze, and the announcers cheer them on for it. A golf superstar gets nailed for stepping on grass he didn't mean to step on and briefly floats calling the President for backup. Up in Maine, a Senate hopeful's uterus reveal manages to out-flop anything happening on a soccer pitch. And somewhere in the Midwest, a woman has been quietly borrowing her best friend's children for her own Facebook page.
Mitch McConnell resurfaces holding the day's newspaper like he's proving to the world he’s alive and wasn't kidnapped, which sets the tone for a week where everyone seems to be performing for a camera. The front page of (state-run) newspapers in Iran tout assassinations it has no capacity to carry out. Team USA loses to a country the size of a strip mall while grown men writhe on the grass pretending they've been shot. And Kristi Noem's (former) husband gets caught after nine years and forty five thousand dollars spent on a “bimbofication” fetish, responding to the fallout by texting his mistress a photo of himself in the getup captioned "I've been a really bad boy." Somewhere in the middle of it all, Joey Chestnut eats sixty six hot dogs in ten minutes and barely gets a mention.
It's the 250th birthday of the country, and David wants to do one modest thing to mark it: set off some fireworks that comply with Rhode Island state law. What stands in the way is a neighbor filming from a poison ivy patch, a permit regime that demands unanimous consent from the same people who once called the police on a four-year-old's backyard birthday, and an armed officer from the Department of Environmental Management who arrives at his door to walk him through the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918. The act, it turns out, protects birds that don't migrate at all, which leaves David and Brad to work out why the state will hand a sidearm to someone guarding an osprey's peace of mind while major cities quietly thin their police forces.
A DEI vice president at JP Morgan Chase attended the Knicks' first championship parade in 53 years, spotted a full Nicks-themed trash can, dumped its contents on the sidewalk, and walked home with it as a souvenir. She has since been fired. David Pridham and Brad Sheafe use this as the jumping-off point for a larger conversation about what happens when an entire political movement is built on the same logic: take what you want, leave the mess for someone else, and call anyone who objects a racist. Conveniently, New York's Democratic primary just handed nominations to three candidates whose economic platform is basically that trash can lady, but with tax policy. The guys also check in on Paris banning alcohol sales during a 100-degree heat wave, the Iran ceasefire window, the repair of the National Mall's reflecting pool and the people trying to sabotage it, and the surprisingly complicated instructions on David's new sauna.
Iran gets the full wrath of the United States and lives to tell about it, which David and Brad agree is the worst possible outcome short of nuclear war. They chart a path from regime change fantasy to Marshall Plan optimism to the grim realization that toddlers negotiate the Strait of Hormuz better than world powers do. Then it's the Obamas opening an $850 million library while lecturing everyone about wealth, a Nantucket pastor cancelling the Declaration of Independence, and an internet famous Chinese dog with 1.5 million followers who got sold for 26 bucks and eaten before anyone realized who he was. Also, David has been drafted into attending a flower show and is taking suggestions on what a man drinks at a flower show. #whitewinewithice
When the official White House page declared Harambe a "true patriot" on what would have been his 27th birthday, most people scrolled past. David & Brad take a moment. Because once the government is producing gorilla memorial content while simultaneously installing a UFC octagon on the South Lawn for America's 250th, you have to ask what exactly Valley Forge was for.As it turns out, there’s a through-line from the White House's foray into internet meme governance all the way to Denver International Airport's genius plan to silence the lizard-people conspiracy by opening some of the tunnels for public tours, which just tells every conspiracy theorist on earth that the other tunnels are where the answers are. The fix is always worse than the problem, whether you're running an airport, a cruise ship, or a country.The coconut, however, remains the answer. Roddy Piper knew it. Sister Rose Albert Malloy knew it. And if you've spent any time watching influencers validate each other's feelings on a screen, you know it too.
The economy is in freefall. Democracy is crumbling. The president is an idiot and we're all going to die. That's the story in the news, anyway. Meanwhile, the Dow just hit 50,000. David and Brad take a moment to appreciate how markets, unlike the media, don't have a narrative to protect.Also on the docket: Joey Chestnut, 17-time Nathan's champion and reigning Bologna Showdown king, has been cleared to compete by Major League Eating after a regrettable but jurisdictionally convenient incident outside an Indiana bar. And in the state of California, a woman spent months sending cash and gift cards to a man she believed to be Tom Selleck, who had reached out via Facebook to help honor her late friend. The lesson, delivered with appropriate gravity: if Tom Selleck contacts you on social media asking for a Starbucks gift card, do not send it. Especially not in Seattle, where the mayor has made that particular transaction ideologically complicated.
Eleven people on the planet have hantavirus. The CDC calls the risk "very, very low." The media has labeled it a crisis. Brad Sheafe is slightly more skeptical about a disease you'd have to wallow in rat droppings to contract. Meanwhile, Carnival Cruise Lines is having a week, the Pentagon has released thousands of UFO affidavits featuring aircraft that defy known physics, and Bigfoot is back in Northeast Ohio. The aliens won't make contact. The Sasquatch won't give an interview. And the people actually running this country can't manufacture a semiconductor. At this point, the creatures hiding in the woods might be onto something.
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When humanity appears to be at its breaking游戏副本... Two men offer up their voices in the darkness! Leading the huddled masses into the safe harbor of good business practices, 80's music and headline news, we introduce the IP... Frequently podcast. Meet David and Brad, two small businessmen giving you the straight talk every week on IP… Frequently.
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