Invoicing the Patriarchy: Ash BG on Quantifying the Mental Load

When you’re pregnant with your first child, the return-to-work plan feels straightforward. But for so many mothers, the reality of unyielding corporate cultures, zero workplace flexibility, and an unsettled baby closes the doors on that career plan fast. It isn’t a choice. It’s running out of options.In this episode, I’m joined from across the Tasman by writer, content creator, and app founder Ash BG (known online as @youwantedthis). After being backed into a corner and forced to quit her corporate PR job post-maternity leave, Ash began pulling back the curtain on weaponised incompetence, systemic inequality, and the mental load. What started as viral content quickly evolved into a thriving Substack community and the creation of Tether, an app designed to track, measure, and rebalance unpaid domestic and emotional labour.We dig into the uncomfortable reality of modern parenting: why being married to "one of the good guys" still leaves mothers exhausted, how the system actively conditions men to benefit from unpaid labour at home, and why true equity at work is impossible until we fix the default parent dynamic.In This Episode, You'll Learn:The Return-to-Work Illusion: How rigid workplace structures push ambitious women out of traditional careers and into freelancing or forced departure.The "Good Guy" Paradox: Why mothers in progressive, loving partnerships are still drowning under the cognitive and emotional load.Quantifying Unpaid Labour: How Ash’s app, Tether, creates a neutral, data-driven starting point for couples to track physical, mental, and emotional tasks (including invoicing the patriarchy).The Breadwinner Dynamic: Unpacking the financial vs. domestic value trap and why a higher salary shouldn't grant a free pass from home responsibilities.The Magic Wand Solution: Why mandating paid parental leave for men from day one is the single most critical lever for closing the motherhood penalty.Resources: Connect with Ash BG on Instagram @youwanted.thisDownload Tether: The Mental Load App on the Apple App Store to track, log, and rebalance domestic load in your home: https://tether-app.co/Connect with EmmaThis podcast was funded and created by Emma Mclean, the founder of Works for Everyone. Emma Mclean is a mum of three and founder of Works for Everyone, a professional development business that partners with NZ's leading corporates to help them retain and grow their working parent talent. She does this through innovative leadership programmes, executive coaching and keynote speaking. She founded her business in 2019 following a 20-year career in corporate strategy where she experienced first-hand how hard it was to have a career and a family. As an impatient optimist when it comes to system change, she launched her successful podcast "How to Smash the Motherhood Penalty" in 2023 where she talks to humans who are actively working to change the system that creates financial penalties that only mothers pay. And in 2024 she launched the first NZ Part Time Power List, to shine a light on those senior roles in NZ that are career building, not side stepping.To work with Emma or enquire about speaking: emma@worksforeveryone.co.nzwww.worksforeveryone.co.nzhttps://www.instagram.com/worksforeveryone/https://www.linkedin.com/in/emma-mclean-9176217/